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[Stiggers] Stayin' Alive

Here's a brief pre-holiday message from Pork-N-Piggly CEO and former third-string NFL football star Ernest "Monday Night Football Head" Walker: "An inflated economy has produced a depressed nation of price-gouged poor people already in debt before Christmas. Family gatherings will be sparse this year because children and grandchildren cannot afford to go over the river and through the woods to grandmomma's house.

Born To Be A Thug

A couple weeks back, culture czar Bill Bennett said crime would go down if all black babies were aborted. A couple months back, a business publication editor in Brandon said that the inner city is breeding young criminals. A couple years back, a city councilman told a group of North Jackson adults that "young tigers" are roaming our streets, looking to hurt us.

[Stiggers] Float On, Find Love

It's time for those interesting profiles from Float On Personals, brought to you by the law office of Cootie McBride and the L.M.H.F.D. National Bank.

No.7, November 3-9

<em><b>Here's to Alternative Minds</em></b>

I just moved "back home" to Jackson. I'm originally from Franklin County. I've lived in Atlanta since graduating USM in 1987. I was very excited to run across the Jackson Free Press. One of my biggest worries about moving back here is dealing with the overly conservative, unquestioning mentality that expects everyone to have two right shoes, and all the load that accompanies. Your pub gives me hope that there are plenty of alternative minds flourishing in Mississippi, which I've always known, but alternative minds who are not afraid to present themselves. Thank you!

[Greggs] Hear Me Roar

The other day I was reading a news brief about Heidi Fleiss opening the first all-male brothel in Nevada. It has all the other cathouse owners in the state, the owners of the regular brothels, in high dungeon. They complain she is drawing attention to the sex trade in Nevada. They've obviously been trying to hide the fact that they operate whorehouses from the religious population and don't want her sashaying in and "causing problems."

Take the Time to Do It Right

Last Sunday two Clarion-Ledger columnists expressed dismay at Mayor Frank Melton's string of public proclamations that turned out to be more hype than good, legal policy—telling city board members to resign, saying he would close the Maple Street apartments without regard to the rights of owners or the tenants, declaring he would demolish the King Edward in 30 days.

[Berger] Merle Haggard, Redneck Renegade

Why don't we liberate these United States

Bennett And His Black Boys

"If you wanted to reduce crime, you could—if that were your sole purpose—you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down." No, that quote did not loom anonymously on some racist Web site, nor did some bigot boom it at a Council of Conservative Citizens rally. A former member of Ronald Reagan's Cabinet—his Secretary of Education, in fact—uttered it on the public's radio airwaves.

[Greggs] Just Not Paying Attention

Most of the time when I'm driving home from work, I'm diligently thinking about something like how cool I would look wearing a cowboy hat while dancing on the hood of my car. I will also admit to daydreaming about Colin Farrell, but only when there's no one around to see my look of rapture.

[Stiggers] Scary Nation

I'm Boneqweesha Jones on the scene at Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store during his Scary Nation: Trick or Treat Halloween Costume Sale. He has an interesting selection of spooky/non-traditional costumes at discount prices.

[Stiggers] Oui, Oui-ing On Poor Folk

Ghetto Science Public Television presents the Boneqweesha and Momma Church Hat News Hour. Boneqweesha: "Greetings! Momma Church Hat kicks off the News Hour with a special report on the riots in Paris, France."

[Rosella] Tragedy In Madison County

Recently, I have been puzzled by the tragic events that have hit the heart of my hometown, Madison. It seems as if the past three years have brought only grief to the Madison-Ridgeland area. Year after year, we lose more students, and we can't seem to figure out why. When I sit down and try to take it all in, I end up asking questions that no one seems to have an answer to.

[Sawyer] Catholics Need Not Apply

Imagine for a moment you're a middle schooler. You know, the kind of young girl or guy with a slight self-confidence problem, maybe some acne on that indomitable T zone, a little stuttering here or there. That was me 10 years ago; maybe it was most of us. During those years, I began to have some serious questions posed to me about my Catholic faith. What's normal is what's local, and in my town, being Catholic was anything but normal.

[Stiggers] Crunchie Burga, Give Us Gas

It's Boneqweesha, your on-the-scene reporter, live from Crunchie Burga World headquarters. The Customer and Support Services Workers' Union, No. 208-1/3, has gathered outside C.B.W. headquarters to protest the plight of the minimum-wage worker. Union president, part-time old-skool deejay and head maintenance person Lionel "Electric Slide" Rutherford is here to explain the protest.

Deliver Us From Evil

I was lying in bed last week, thinking about the Edgar Ray Killen trial. My feelings on it are hard to sort out; I'm relieved, yet worried that too many people will treat it as an end rather than a beginning.

No. 5 October 20 - 26

<b><u>Solid Work</u></b>

Keep up the solid work with the Jackson Free Press. I grab every one of those free copies I can get my hands on. We agree on precious little (actually, in conversation, we all might surprise each other!), but one of my favorite moments every week is to stretch back on my lounge chair and crank the JFP open. Appreciate it!

The Best Of Times, The Worst Of Times

Last year began on a high note for the Jackson Free Press, and it's closing on a high note—with our readership at an all-time high, our position as the city's most-read weekly publication cemented, and the biggest advertising issue we've published to date.

[Kamikaze] The Apocalypse Is Nigh

I'm back from a couple of weeks in the media capital of the world—New York City. Bright lights, big dreams and bad weather. Unfortunately while I was there, the Northeastern seaboard experienced some of its worst weather in years. Here I am running from the remnants of Katrina and Rita and, POW!, seven straight days of blinding rain and flooding in New Hampshire. Methinks this is yet another sign that the Apocalypse is nigh.

[Stiggers] The Night Before Kwanzaa

Welcome to a Ghetto Science Christmas with the Fifth Alternate Financially Challenged and Concerned Citizens Community Choir, directed by Auntie Church Hat. Here's a song from their first Christmas CD titled "Broke, Busted and Frustrated during the Holiday Season."

[Fleming] Goodbye, My Friend

In the early spring of 1993, I had a serious decision to make. One choice was to become a lance corporal in the United States Marine Corps, having served six months reserve duty in a special program designed to lure African Americans into the Corps' officer ranks. The other was to serve as the campaign manager for a long-shot mayoral candidate whom most people saw as a protester rather than a public servant.