Ellington

It's Boneqweesha, your on-the-scene reporter, live from Crunchie Burga World headquarters. The Customer and Support Services Workers' Union, No. 208-1/3, has gathered outside C.B.W. headquarters to protest the plight of the minimum-wage worker. Union president, part-time old-skool deejay and head maintenance person Lionel "Electric Slide" Rutherford is here to explain the protest.

Lionel: "Miss Wanda, a senior greeter, has worked 12-hour shifts three days in a row because 80 percent of C.B.W. employees cannot afford to buy gas and therefore, are unable to drive to work."

Boneqweesha: "I know Miss Wanda is worn out, bless her heart."

Lionel: "And she has plenty of scars from the hot grease of the Crunchie Deep Fryer. Also, the entire Crunchie Burga World franchise is short on help because friends and relatives refuse to transport employees to work. It's no more free rides, Boneqweesha. It's a shame that poor working folk live this way."

Boneqweesha: "I feel a workers' strike comin' on."

Lionel: "That's right! We (Customer and Support Services Workers' Union, No. 208-1/3) will protest and strike until C.B.W. franchise executives meet our requests: 1. Provide ample transportation (such as a van or even a five-seat, tandem bicycle) to and from work. 2. Allow employees to collect from C.B.W. customers monetary 'Love Offerings' for emergency gasoline, car and/or bicycle repairs."

Boneqweesha: "It's all about demand and supply. And if employees can't get to work, the public won't eat—at Crunchie Burga World, that is. This has been Boneqweesha Jones reportin'."

Previous Comments

ID

70935

Comment

This column get its inspiration from a McDonalds staff meeting in the lobby of the restaurant.

Author

Stiggers

Date

2005-10-26T20:00:52-06:00