Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Ghetto Science Public Television presents the Boneqweesha and Momma Church Hat News Hour. Boneqweesha: "Greetings! Momma Church Hat kicks off the News Hour with a special report on the riots in Paris, France."
Momma Church Hat: "Oooh, la, la! Paris, one of the cornerstones of art and culture, has become a place where folk just don't get along. I have on a pre-paid-unlimited-minute after-6-o-clock-p.m. cell phone News Hour correspondent Randolph-Pierre Church Hat, reporting live from Paris. And he's also on a church missionary trip with Rev. Cletus. It looks like the Kerner Commission report is in full swing over there."
Randolph-Pierre: "Yeah, Momma! Since Hurricane Katrina, it seems as if poor people around the world have had enough of oppression, totalitarianism, selfish rich folk and uncaring politicians. They express their frustration by tearing up property and stuff."
Momma Church Hat: "I never imagined that France would have race and class problems."
Randolph-Pierre: "During the hurricane and flood catastrophes of the Gulf Goast, the French people never imagined the poverty, race and class issues of the United States."
Momma Church Hat: "I guess we all have our issues and problems."
Randolph-Pierre: "True, Momma. And the powers-that-be need to stop oui, oui-ing on poor folk and telling them that it's raining. I gotta go. I'm late for the Pepe Le Pew cartoon marathon on French cable television. Also, my anytime-minute has expired."
Momma Church Hat: "Randolph, stay low and don't get caught in the crossfire, baby."
Proof that France and the United States aren't all that different on race and class issues: Guess who 200 French politicians blame for the riots? Robber barons? Industrialists? Anti-immigration bigots? No, of course not. Like any self-respecting white politicians, they blame rappers. Thank God the prime minister still has his wits about him. I told someone the other day: I am amazed by the decency of the rioters. Yes, I said decency. 9,000 torched cars and not a single documented casualty? That's damned impressive, and it doesn't happen by accident. It shows that while rebels in the rest of the world try for maximum casualties to get attention, practically every last one of the rioters made a special effort not to kill anybody. That's amazing. Cheers, TH
- Tom Head