[Stiggers] Sick as a Doggie
Cootie McBride: "Greetings! I'm here to represent the members of the Ghetto Science Team's Pet Owners Consortium. My clients and I have filed a class action suit against companies who make and sell contaminated and/or poisonous pet food. I was compelled to act immediately after Sista Church Hat, owner of a dog named Alonso, said this alarming phrase to me: 'Pets have dropped dead like raining cats and dogs!'
[Kamikaze] Over My Dead Body
Wrap your brain around this one for a moment: America doesn't really know how it feels about a black man and a woman running for president.
Of Paranoia and Xenophobia
See related blog thread.
[Gregory] Dreamin' Ain't Doin'
For the past six months, I've been working in Hattiesburg, mainly because the job offer included enough money to allow me to embroider gold dollar signs on my socks right alongside my initials—righteous money. Following this money soon led me to understand that working in Hattiesburg actually meant commuting to Hattiesburg for the duration of the employment.
[Stiggers] God is Frowning
Boneqweesha Jones: "Your favorite on-the-scene reporter is back for a special edition of 'Ghetto Dateline: Health Crisis in the 'Hood.' With me—live on location at Grandma Pookie's back porch via a camera phone, courtesy of Aunt Tee Tee and Brotha Hustle—is Nurse Tootie McBride.
Crossroads: Telling Our Own Stories
I was privileged this year to serve as the president of the Crossroads Film Society's board of directors, which meant an opportunity to work with a wonderful group of creative folks. Mostly, I would tell them things like, "No, that's not in the budget."
[Taylor] Rallying for 'Prisoners of War'
March 30, 1973, was a clear, beautiful day, perhaps a blessing from heaven for the day's events. Thousands of Jacksonians and some out-of-town guests congregated on the Jackson State University campus. Exhilarated from the march to the campus from Lynch Street, they listened intently to the message given by Rev. Ben Chavis—a member of the Wilmington 10, the group that had been falsely arrested for conspiracy and arson in North Carolina—who later changed his name to Minister Benjamin F. Muhammad.
[Stiggers] Everything's a Dollar
Miss Doodle-Mae: "Greetings, Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store customers. You may know me as the store's part-time cashier and security guard. Jo-Jo, however, feels that I'm as articulate as Barack Obama, and he has commissioned me—Miss Doodle-Mae Jenkins—to be the official spokesperson for his business.
'Balance'or Pandering?
The Clarion-Ledger's editorial director has asserted that when Molly Ivins was alive, he ran Ivins and Ann Coulter columns in rotation because they "balance" one another.
[Johnson] Charrette or Charade?
"(The LeFleur Lakes) plan is really unpopular with everyone but you, John. It is a different world when you are not in the room. There is no question that this plan is unpopular." The collective gasp was audible.
[Stiggers] Hands Off My Mower
Sista Announcement: "Coming soon to A.T. & T. (i.e., Aunt Tee Tee) cable television is a fresh new chitlin' circuit gospel comedy called 'We Can Keep a Good Riding Lawnmower in the Ghetto.'
[Kamikaze] Robin Hood To The Rescue?
What are we Jacksonians prepared to do? Will you stand proud and stay, or cower and leave?
The First Step
My small group of friends and I spent the majority of last Saturday at Smith Robertson Museum. Our still nameless singing group and band performed at an art opening featuring many budding talents in our city. The exhibit's title: "Trapped Flowers." Jason Thompson, who emceed the show, said that a trapped flower was any woman who was stifled or suffocated, whether by domestic violence or by something more prosaic.
[Grayson] Ready or Not
When Donna Ladd called and told me that I had received the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies' Diversity Internship Grant, I was thrilled. I was excited that I was embarking on another journey in my life. When I told my mother and grandmother, their reactions made me one of the happiest people in the world. My mother quickly called all of our relatives to tell them that her baby was going to be a reporter. It felt good to be moving forward.
[Stiggers] Gotta Bang, Bang the Boogie
Lifetime Sista Gurl Women's Television Network presents the Ghetto Chick Flick of the Week: "The Adventures of Nurse Tootie McBride: Medicine Woman, LPN, certified Tahitian Total Health Elixir distributor and part-time Tai Chi Instructor." In this episode ,Nurse Tootie diagnoses Momma "Too Funky Feets" Tidwell.
Frank's World
We're living through one of the worst D-movies one could imagine. In fact, this flick likely wouldn't get made in the first place because no one would buy it. Roll the videotape.
[Gregory] Am I Good Enough?
The other night, I was watching the special on television about Oprah opening the school for future female leaders in South Africa. Other than being extremely embarrassed that I cried through most of the show, something in one part of it hit me so hard that I continued to tear up for the following few days every time I thought about it.
[Stiggers] Poor Folks Gone Wild
Bonqweesha Jones: "People in today's society enjoy looking at other people's misery, mistakes and foibles. Viewers of those police reality shows love the action and excitement of the pursuit, i.e. the nappy-headed black guy being chased and wrestled down to the ground."
LeFleur Lakes Barreling Toward the Falls
The results are in from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers study of the LeFleur Lakes project, and, according to a report in The Clarion-Ledger, the Corps says it isn't economically feasible. Estimating a price tag of $1.2 billion—which is a figure quite north of the Lakes' developer $200 million-$300 million estimates—the Corps doesn't recommend federal involvement.
[Collier] There's More to the Story
It's done now. Elementary school teachers, if they haven't already, are taking down the laminated posters of Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Martin Luther King Jr. and Thurgood Marshall. Black History Month is over—time to make room for shamrocks and leprechauns. Television networks have aired all the projects and documentaries reserved just for this month, and it's back to normal programming, as usual. You know, the stuff everyone actually wants to watch.
[Stiggers] Everything Must Go
Big Head Fred: "During Black History Month, the corporate world has thrived on your impulsive buying habits. In spite of your overworked and underpaid status, they depend on you to spend your time on spending your hard-earned salary or tax-refund check on things that clutter up your home. I must admit, however, that I, too, need your money. I'm a small businessperson, with bills to pay.
In a Sentimental Mood
It's Tuesday, and I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor in Baltimore's Southwest terminal after spending several days in Washington at an alternative-newspaper training conference. I love these gatherings: I teach, I learn, I build relationships—especially with the younger editors and writers who are the future of the news industry. Those guys seldom ask "why?!?" in a discussion about how to best use the Internet to communicate and interact with readers; they ask "how!?!"—big difference.
[Gregory] You Call That Music?
My friends often make smart-ass comments about my taste in music. I write this sentence as Babs wails "Moon River" in the background, and my cats look at me distastefully while hiding their tiny heads under their paws. For the past five years, I've been happier listening to oldies and standards than being concerned with the newest hot stuff that is playing on the radio. In fact, I probably couldn't even tell you the name of the new hot song that is playing on the radio. I listen to old people's music. My parents don't even listen to the music I enjoy.
[Stiggers] Watching You Watch Us
Kunta "Rahsheed X" Toby: "Welcome to 'Why Aggravate a Brother?' It's Ghetto Science Television's new reality series about racial profiling. This episode is sponsored by the law offices of Cootie McBride, Aunt Tee Tee Hustle's Mending the Digital Divide Project, Nurse Tootie McBride Wound Center for Violent Beat Downs and bail bondsman Scooter D.
[Kamikaze] The New Independents
We've come to yet another music issue, and that means as in years past, it's time for my annual state of the music address. It seems I've become the "mad rapper" for all my political ramblings and such, but the music is my passion. It is the music that I think makes most folks in the private sector even give me the time of day. It is the music that's given me a platform to voice my opinions in this very publication.
All for One
There were some quiet days in Jackson while Mayor Frank Melton was recovering from surgery in Texas. I was in City Council covering the debate on digital billboards two weeks ago, and we journalists blinked at each other like it was the first day of spring. We could almost imagine what it would be like to cover government without Melton. Politicians will always argue and preen for the cameras, but in ordinary times, there are no states of emergency, no raids, no felony indictments.
[Head] Legislation Promotes Dangerous Abortions
Last Wednesday, the Mississippi State Senate passed SB 2795. Promoted as a simple ban on abortion, the legislation actually takes a far more novel and dangerous approach. The right of a woman to terminate her own pregnancy is protected under section 2(3) of the legislation—establishing a right to abortion for the first time in Mississippi legislative history. The right of a woman to obtain drugs that will help her terminate her pregnancy is also protected under subsection 1(3)(d). There's one catch: Any doctor who oversees the procedure faces up to ten years in prison. Under SB 2795, abortion wouldn't always be illegal—just incredibly dangerous.
[Stiggers] Butt Whippings for This?
Mr. Announcement: "On this Black History episode of All God's Churn Got Shoes, Mr. Teacher makes his History and Ghetto Science class think."
[Chick] Hands Off My ‘You Know'
As Eve Ensler, author of "The Vagina Monologues," would say, I come from "down there" people. Actually, I come from "you know" people. That was our whispered code for vagina, penis, uterus, buttocks and even pregnancy. When I was young, I did not know, but who was I to ask my mother? I'm still not sure she knows.
Real Love Can Be Tough
Love is a funny thing. It too often earns its status as a four-letter word. It bites us in the ass. It keeps us awake and alive. It motivates us.