Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Miss Doodle-Mae: "Greetings, Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store customers. You may know me as the store's part-time cashier and security guard. Jo-Jo, however, feels that I'm as articulate as Barack Obama, and he has commissioned me—Miss Doodle-Mae Jenkins—to be the official spokesperson for his business.
"As global warming becomes an ongoing issue, Jo-Jo is concerned about his loyal ghetto customers contributing to the world's environmental problems. To reduce the emission of smoke from outdoor barbecues in backyards and on front porches, Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store will stock a limited supply of charcoal, lighting fluid and barbecue grills.
"When the limited supplies of barbecue items run out, Jo-Jo's will sell an abundant supply of environmentally safe George Foreman electric grills. No smoke. No fumes. Cleaner air. If you want to barbecue outdoors with your new George Foreman electric grill, Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store also has plenty of long, bright orange power cords for sale.
"For your planned outings, remember to stock up on paper plates, plastic forks/spoons, paper cups, condiments and Brotha Hustle's pre-stocked Juicy-Juice-on-ice Styrofoam containers.
"For the light-skinned customer concerned about the earth's depleting ozone layer, Jo-Jo has bottles of UV-ray blocking suntan lotion for sale. And don't let disease-carrying mosquitos and bugs bug you out; Jo-Jo has an almost endless supply of environmentally friendly insect repellant.
"Save your money and the environment! Shop at Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store, where everythang's a dollar."
Man, you can't get more ridiculous than that. Charcoal is a natural product, but she turns around and emphasizes the use of electricity, petroleum products, CFCs, etc. Miss Doodle-Mae needs to be edjamacated. :-P