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[Stiggers] Pimp My Living Space

Ghetto Science Home and Garden Television presents "Pimp My Living Space." Join Grandma and Grandpa Pookie as they help you change your dump into a more livable dump.

Make Jackson Weird

I grew up a Dallas Cowboys fan, and one of the biggest adjustments to rooting for my now-beloved Saints is to learn to keep hope alive for a team that lacks a tradition of winning.

[Queen] Moving Onward

Rows and rows of plowed earth await attention, while endlessly curvaceous streets leak secrets of struggle and anguish. Stiff winds wrap intensely against all that interrupt its peace, announcing itself with firm determination.

[Stiggers] Shakin' with Purpose

Welcome to Clubb Chicken Wing's first annual Pre-Juneteenth Celebration and Disco. As your DJ for this affair, my goal is to entertain and educate the masses through old-school dance music. I'd like to call it 'Booty Poppin' and Knowledge Droppin', or 'Shake What Your Ancestors Gave You.'

Peace, Prosperity and Tolerance

Every December now for about a decade, we have asked the Jackson Free Press staff members to sign hundreds of holiday greeting cards that we send to freelancers, advertising clients, sources, and other friends and acquaintances of the JFP.

When the Going Gets Tough

No doubt about it, these are scary economic times. Many people are losing jobs, some businesses are closing, consumers are holding tight to their dollars.

[Stiggers] Sick as a Doggie

Cootie McBride: "Greetings! I'm here to represent the members of the Ghetto Science Team's Pet Owners Consortium. My clients and I have filed a class action suit against companies who make and sell contaminated and/or poisonous pet food. I was compelled to act immediately after Sista Church Hat, owner of a dog named Alonso, said this alarming phrase to me: 'Pets have dropped dead like raining cats and dogs!'

Anatomy of An Error

On Saturday, Nov. 18, 2006, The Clarion-Ledger published an editorial titled "Will DA Accept Another Plea Bargain?" in which the writer made a huge error when he wrote the following:

Onward I Must Go

I don't recollect ever being one in my younger age who made notoriously teenage comments like, "I can't wait until I'm grown" or "Just as soon as I leave the house I'm gonna. ..." (My mother may beg to differ, but I'm relying strictly on memory here.) I'm definitely grown now, and I would give adulthood and the responsibilities I don't like back in a heartbeat, if I could. I can't, so onward I must go.

[Balko] Justice for Sal

Last week The Washington Post reported that Sal Culosi's parents have reached a $2 million settlement with Fairfax County, Va., police Detective Deval Bullock, who shot and killed the 38-year-old optometrist during a January 2006 SWAT raid on his home. The unusual settlement reflects the outrageous facts of this case, in which an unarmed man suspected of nothing more than betting on sports was recklessly gunned down during an unnecessarily violent operation.

[Braden] Absolutely Perfect 2006

I've decided to send this yankeefied newsletter as proof that we are not an agoraphobic family—we just don't like spending time with folks who don't really want to spend time with us, either. My new husband has informed me that writing everyone a letter outlining everything we've done this year, hobbies we have taken a liking to and other personal information that you probably don't want to know, will suffice in place of any actual familial communication regarding 2006. This socially accepted tradition demonstrates exactly why I don't care for Yankees, and I would like to immediately apologize for offending any aunt with two first names. Yes ma'am; I was raised better than this.

[Stiggers] Facing the Facts

Judy McBride: "Welcome to my 'Coping with the Trials and Struggles of Life' class. My objective is to show you how to deal with negativity."

[Stiggers] Drop It Like It's Hot For Jesus

Bruh. Sylvester: "Welcome to my art exhibit titled 'Talkin' 'Bout the Ghetto and Other Stuff,' sponsored by the Ghetto Science Team's Museum of Natural History, Science, Art, Urban Mythology and Culture. Although I'm known for my seasonal creations of 'Christmas Missing-Toe Art,' I want to share with the arts community four of my latest works.

[Carter] Standing in Solidarity

The morning of Feb. 12, 2008, was sobering for the students of E. O. Green School, in Oxnard, Calif. At 8:15 a.m., 8th-grade student Brandon McInerney walked into a computer class where he shot his classmate Lawrence "Larry" King twice in the head.

Celebrating Excellence

I write this having just watched the swearing in of our new president, hearing his call to service and responsibility in his inaugural address. It will take some time to let that speech soak in and to hear more about the tone that will be set in Washington.

Whip It Good

Every year for Halloween, I struggle when it come to finding the perfect costume. Instead of dressing up as an oversexed nurse or pop star, I've always found it a challenge to dress up as a woman I actually agree with.

Where is the Humanity in Laurel, Miss.?

Last Monday morning, Aug. 25, federal immigration agents descended on Laurel, Miss., to conduct the largest immigration raid in the country, where they arrested 600 workers at a manufacturing plant.

[Stiggers] The New GM

"It's Rev. Cletus Car Sales Church radio broadcast, live and in listening color! Before I begin with the show, I must do a couple of shameless plugs. I want to inform everyone that a new GM car dealership is in town. Don't worry; it's not a bankrupt General Motors transformed into Government Motors. It's the beginning of Ghetto Motors: home of the affordable and green hybrid hoopty.

[Collier] Connect the Dots

The folks at WJTV must have been particularly bored April 16. In what was presumably an attempt to localize the Virginia Tech tragedy, WJTV reported live from the Jackson State campus and paralleled the 1970 school shooting that occurred at JSU to the recent Virginia Tech massacre. The two have nothing in common, other than the fact that they both occurred on college campuses, and bullets were involved. Other than that, the WJTV correspondents played a masterful game—or not—of connect-the-dots.

Think Local First

I'm currently reading the book "Big Box Swindle" by Stacy Mitchell, who wrote our cover story this week. The book argues that much of what we believe about big-box development—that it creates jobs, wealth, tax dollars—are myths.