[Stiggers] Summertime, and the Livin' Ain't Easy
Ladies, gentlemen and po' folks, playwright and entrepreneur Pookie Peterz presents his critically acclaimed ghetto-tragedy opera "Porgy and Bush."
[Solomon] Backlash Against Outrage
Looking at visual images from U.S.-run prisons in Iraq, news watchers now find themselves in the midst of a jolting experience that roughly resembles a process described by Donald Rumsfeld: "It is the photographs that gives one the vivid realization of what actually took place. Words don't do it. ... You see the photographs, and you get a sense of it, and you cannot help but be outraged."
Watch Those Low-Carb Torts
This past week I've taken advantage of my access to a press pass to sit in on some fascinating meetings in the Capitol. From Judiciary A meetings on "both sides of the hall" (as we insiders say) to the floor of the House of Representatives, I've watched our democracy in action. And, while some might be inclined to call this particular show of democracy a train wreck, I've gotten a little too much of a "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" feel to completely denigrate the process.
[Spann] Banishing the Labels
"Honey, I think I'm becoming a Republican!" I exclaimed to my husband one sunny spring afternoon while perusing a magazine. As usual, he calmly examined me for physical evidence of my latest revelation, questioned me about my claim and decided that a few conservative views did not a Republican make. But I wasn't so sure. Besides, if I wasn't a Republican and I couldn't identify with the Democrats anymore, what on earth was I? I had to have a party affiliation and fast.
[Stiggers] Watch Yo' Metaphors, Similes and Allegories
The following is an editorial from chief linguist Dr. Trey Cognac Courvoisier Jackson Jr. of the James Brown "Say It Loud" Ebonics Speech Therapy Centers of America.
[Ladd] Ask the $34,000-A-Day Questions
In January, I wrote an editor's note about the governor that miffed some Democrats around the city. They told me I went too easy on Barbour. I wrote then that although his wink-wink, race-tinged, nationally financed campaign tactics had really turned me off, I still hoped that he really wanted to come in and bridge gaps, not widen chasms. I wrote: "It's up to Barbour. This wasn't our game; the new governor needs to convince me, and other Mississippians, that he deserves the benefit of our doubt. Can he do that? Sure, if he will."
[Lott] Base Closure
By a razor thin 49 to 47 vote, the Senate narrowly missed an opportunity to put overseas military bases ahead of domestic facilities in the anticipated 2005 base closure round. I introduced this amendment because a growing number in Congress feel it's time that we radically rethink America's antiquated commitment to aging Cold-War-era military bases overseas, especially in Western Europe where politically temperamental nations like Germany and France should start shouldering their own defense burden. The close vote shows support for changing or delaying the base closure process is growing, and this vote signals a significant shift in the base closure issue.
[Young] Cruelty Cuts Across Nationality, Gender Lines
Almost anything that can be said about the recently revealed abuse of Iraqi prisoners by American and British troops is going to be a cliché. It's horrifying and sickening; it's a disgrace to the uniform; it damages our cause in the war against terror by displacing us from the moral high ground; and it drops a highly effective recruitment tool in the lap of those waging jihad against the West.
[Ask JoAnne] The Free and the Grave
Sure, there are many faults in Bush, just as there are in any politician. I am the first to admit it. But in the JFP "Donkeys Have a Shot?" you directly imply that Bush is retarded. If it were a little liberal joke, that would be understandable. Just like saying Clinton is a lying nymphomaniac. Or that Kerry is on both sides of every issue. But in the context of the article, it is literally stating that Bush is retarded. Are you saying that Democrats discriminate and make fun of handicapped people? What happened to your bleeding heart?
[Stiggers] Yes, You Have Rights
The "Nu Apprentice: First Hired, Last Fired," starring Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, will return after this message.
[Irby] Trouble in Mind
I set foot back in Jackson on Feb. 10, 2004, after a year and a half of moving around. I had traveled to what I considered the most liberal parts of the country, California and New York. I left in search of something different, a place of new ideas and open minds, where I could feel free.
[Ladd] Thin Line Between Love and Hate
I was talking to a young woman the other day who is in the family of a Jackson man who toiled and lobbied and prodded and threatened for many years to try to block school de-segregation and then to encourage white families to pull their children out of the public schools. The young woman told me that she admires my work. She has progressive ideas. She likes the JFP.
[Tucker] You Have a Choice
My daughter attends a historically black university, the school from which I graduated, as a matter of which I graduated, as a matter of fact. But she could go anywhere, provided she has the grades and her mother and I have the money. She still might.
[Stiggers] The State of Dee-wishous Queem-O-Wheet
The Cream-O-Wheat Meals on Wheels Foundation International (We Got A Big Hot Pot In the Back) presents Commentary Concerning Cream-O-Wheat by the Cream-O-Wheat man.
[Ladd] Doing Mama's Business
This column was originally published in 2003. We feature it this week in honor of a very special mama. The first issue of the JFP was published on Sept. 22, 2002, Miss Katie's birthday.
‘Gone Weekly'
If there's one JFP-related question I've heard more than any other from folks around Jackson in the past few weeks and months, it's been this one: "Are y'all going weekly?"
[Ask JoAnne] Donkeys Have a Shot?
Do the Republicans have a lock on the state of Mississippi? Does a Democrat, or even just a non-elephant like myself, have a chance of voting for the winning candidate in the upcoming presidential election? Or should I just give up and stay home?
[Stiggers] There's No Hidin' Place Down Here
Funkee Finger and Pookie Peterz Homeboy Hook-up Productions present M.C. Booty Cheeks' premiere hip-hop CD, "Their Eyes Are On The Ghetto: The Real Crack Epidemic." This controversial, socio-political CD features chart-topping hits like "Don't Drop Yo' Drawers," "Sumbuddy's Looking, Put Yo' Clean Underwear On" and the dance party favorite "Clubb Bootie N The DayTyme: Yo' Behind Is Exposed." Check it out!
[Mimi] Last of the Red-Hot Sugar Mamas
Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night—she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question —"Is this all?" — Betty Friedan
Calm the 'Runaway' Rhetoric; Do the Homework
As we go to press, it seems likely that Gov. Haley Barbour will call a special session this year to try and push through more "tort reform" measures after failing to reach a compromise with Democratic leadership in the House. The slogan leading up to Gov. Barbour's special session will be that the House leadership is not "allowing the majority to speak." But if general tort-reform liability caps pass, it will be the lobbyists and big industry who are being heard. The "majority" wants health care and jobs. Capping non-economic damages provides neither, and a special session will be a waste of taxpayer dollars on a partisan, ideological enterprise based on rhetoric and sketchy facts.
[Johnson] ‘60 Minutes' Missed Pickering's Real Record
President, Mississippi NAACP
"60 Minutes" seemed intent on making the point that African Americans within Pickering's hometown know best about Pickering's qualifications for the appellate court, and that their support is revealing: "Pickering enjoys strong support from the many blacks who know him." This misses the point completely about federal judicial nominations. The Senate's advise and consent role is not reduced to a personality contest limited to a nominee's popular support in his hometown. Nominees—even controversial ones—can receive overwhelming support from local friends and associates.
[Ladd] Life in the Fast Lane
Not to be a drama queen here, but hanging out at the Mississippi Legislature can really shatter one's faith in humanity. After doing years of research on harmful youth policies (zero tolerance, adult sentencing, "superpredator" rhetoric, media demonization of youth), I'm already convinced that most people don't give a damn about young people they didn't raise. And too many don't really care enough about the ones they did.
[Stiggers] Adventures on the U.S. Censor Ship
Hey, hey, hey! Here's what on-the-scene reporter Bone-Qweesha Jones gotta say!
Wurd Up, peoples! As summertime approaches, the news seems to get as hot as a Nelly "It's Hott In Herre" album release party in a steam room. And as Dr. King said, "Trouble is in the land, and confusion is all about … but only when it's dark enough, you can see the stars."
[Ask Joanne] Think Big, and Small
Q. What is the single most obvious opportunity for a citizen to assist the City of Jackson in addressing a community problem? By this question, I am referring to all the problems faced by our city. Isn't there one that, if addressed by working toward a solution, would effect the greatest change for our city? Is it teenage pregnancy? Is it crime? Is it lack of a CC's Coffee House? Is it education? Is it drugs? Is it the antics of the City Council? Is it corruption? Is it potholes? Is it 'white flight'? Is it lack of nightlife? What is the solution? How can the average citizen help? What will make the greatest impact?
[Stiggers] Help Wanted: WMD Detectives Needed
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Detective Agency is looking for a few good people! Now, a few words from our founder head inspector/agent Mr. Cholly Banks.
[Stauffer] A River Running Through It
The LeFleur Lakes project will be something that Jackson talks about for some time to come. Originally the brainchild of developer and engineer John McGowan, the "Two Lakes" project, as it�s often called, is a plan to dredge a canal in the bed of the Pearl River and then flood the river to create what (arguably) could be called two lakes—an upper and a lower, with the dividing line somewhere around LeFleur's Bluff Park. Some supporters tout the project as a miracle solution to Jackson's problems—or, at least, the flooding and economic development woes. With waterfront lapping up to the outskirts of downtown and all along the eastern edge of Jackson, people will flock back to Jackson and once again fill the city's tax coffers, they say.
[Browning] As Good Fridays Go
I am constantly haunted by water. I try to drink eight full glasses a day, swim as often as possible (the dog paddle is my favorite stroke), do some menial hard labor task so that I coax tiny droplets to ooze out of me, and I adore soaking in a hot spring during those quiet crepuscular hours before dawn in contemplation of all that the day may bring. But my favorite association with water is sitting on top of it in a canoe, rhythmically stroking a good wooden paddle again and again and again, in motion meditation.
[Hughes] Travels with Gary
I didn't know when I called Gary Baldwin the other day that I'd be going on a 25-mile bike ride. I just wanted to talk with him about the newspaper he's published for 13 years in Vicksburg, where my mother grew up and where I've lived, off and on, for a good third of my adult life. I'd read The New Times before, just hadn't paid much attention to it 'til I picked up this month's issue.
[Fleming] A Come to Jesus Meeting
Where were you at 4:30 p.m. on March 18, 2004? I know where I was. I was sitting at my desk in the House Chamber, listening to Rep. Willie Bailey, D-Greenville, rail against a bill, House Bill 1435 to be exact. My colleague, Rep. Philip Gunn, R-Clinton, had introduced 1435 to make sure that affidavit ballots were counted in a election by making them, essentially, same-day voter registration forms. Sounds like a good idea, right?
[Stiggers] Tale of Two Criminals
From the producers of the Sci-Fi horror film "Very High Unemployment in America" ... This is a story about two women who escaped their wrong decisions. Martha was a rich, powerful, intelligent and popular celebrity who owned her own corporation. Bone-Qweesha was an aspiring hair stylist and on-the-scene reporter who worked three jobs just to make ends meet for herself and her son Junior. These women seemed to live productive lives until they made the wrong decisions.