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In Times Like These
Rev. Cletus: "Welcome to another Rev. Cletus Car Sales Church radio broadcast. This is your car-sales pastor proclaiming the good news that God is in the blessing business in times like these."
Stand Up for Their Rights
Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit."
June: A Month of Encouragement
Miss Doodle Mae: "A lot of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store employees are concerned about their futures because of possible budget cuts on social, health-care and educational programs. Worry, apathy and depression consumes the morale of the staff."
A Health-Care Oligarchy
"The politicians are diligent, persistent and determined to establish a health-care oligarchy. The tables are tilted toward the rich, and the game is rigged against the poor."
Getting Ready for the ‘Mother of All Bombs’
Mr. Announcement: "Ghetto Science Public Affairs Network television presents coverage of Clubb Chicken Wing's Emergency Preparedness and Strategic Planning Hot Wing Happy Hour. Your moderator for this session is Congressman Smokey 'Robinson' McBride."
Caution: Oligarchy Ahead
Brother Hustle: "Welcome to this very important Compensatory Investment Request Support Group meeting. While democracy transitions into an oligarchy, the common, poor and financially challenged communities must brace themselves for a severe beatdown."
Miss Doodle Mae’s Safe Haven from Fake News
Miss Doodle Mae: "In a time of 'fake news' and 'alternative facts,' Jojo's Discount Dollar Store has become a safe haven for the common people."
Poop Hitting the Fan
"As we usher in a new year of fake news, computer hackery, twitter rants, racist emails, bigoted trolls, etc., my special guests and I will do our best to combat the abuse of technology and provide honest journalism in 2017."
‘What Are Your Plans for Me, Mr. Trump?’
Big Roscoe: "Little Mama Roscoe and I have big plans to celebrate the remaining days of 2016 at Clubb Chicken Wing. Despite the numerous and unfortunate executions of poor people, law enforcement, former NFL football players, etc., the hard-working Clubb Chicken Wing staff will continue to serve its loyal customers with a special holiday event called 'The Eight Days of Christmas Hot Wing Happy Hour for World Peace and Sanity.'
‘Surviving a Severe Political Butt Whooping’
"Jojo's Discount Dollar Store will host a series of weekly 'New Era Transition Holiday Sales Events.' Look out for weekly events in isle 7-and-2/5, starting with the 'Post Election Meltdown Mental Health Therapy Summit,' which psychologist Judy McBride is hosting. All President-elect Trump supporters are invited to attend."
Overcoming P.T.E.S.D.
Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride; attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I; and guest peace officers Psychologist Judy McBride and Sister Encouragement, co-host of the Rev. Cletus Cars Sales Radio Broadcast. This is their story."
‘Save a Brother or Sister’
Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I, and guest rookie peace officers Deacons Jones and Richardson of Rev. Cletus Car Sales Church. This is their story."
Your Sanity Matters
Miss Doodle Mae: "The summer of 2016 was a time of mean-spirited individuals escalating fear, apathy, bigotry, racism, xenophobia, homophobia and racial self-hatred. To soothe the nerves of staff and the community, Jojo, our compassionate leader, will organize a sales event focusing on mental-health issues called 'Your Sanity Matters.'"
The Hustlers’ Time of Year
Brother Hustle: "Welcome to another Compensatory Investment Request Support Group meeting. To paraphrase the words of my favorite funk group WAR: 'Summer time is here / Yes, it's summer, the hustlers' time of year.'"
First Lady Sadie-Mae
Mr. Announcement: "Ghetto Science Public Affairs Network TV presents First Lady Sadie-Mae McBride's graduation commencement speech at Hair Did University School of Cosmetology and Vocational Education. We join the first ;ady's speech already in progress."
Prevent the Execution of Poor People
Mr. Announcement: "Live from Clubb Chicken Wing, Ghetto-Science Public Affairs Network presents an important press conference organized by Congressman Smokey Robinson McBride for Ghetto Science Community residents."
Do What Is Right
Nurse Tootie McBride: "Good afternoon members of the media and concerned community citizens. Welcome to the McBride Family press conference announcing 'The Caravan of Love, Peace, Protection, Self-Defense, Voter Registration and Motivation Crusade.'
Stiggers: A White Supremacist and Black Pullman Porter Debate Race and History
The heated discussion happens after the supremacist says that he is infinitely better than the best n-word that ever lived."
The Sour Music of Discontent
Boneqweesha Jones: "Welcome to Boneqweesha Live Entertainment News and World Report, broadcasting live from the television studio of Hair Did University School of Cosmetology and Vocational Studies."
Financially Challenged Lives Matter
Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit."
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