Ellington

I don't think anyone wakes up in the morning telling themselves, "I am going to become a cause today." We are supposed to support causes, not be causes.

When I published "Everyday Struggles" in these pages, the outpouring of love and support for my fiancee, Harriett Johnson, was unbelievable. People who had never met Harriett, plus friends and loved ones in Jackson and beyond, stepped forward to offer a kidney for her. In many ways Harriett has become a "cause."

While we are grateful for everyone's love and support, we are ready for Harriett to transform back into just "Harriett" and not "Harriett, who needs a kidney."

It looks like the wait will continue. Harriett has not received a new kidney, yet, and the waiting gets more painful the longer it lasts. Love, prayer, hopes, and wishes get tiring when they are the same for such a long period of time and for such a serious reason. Harriett and I spend many evenings poring over the latest research on kidney transplants. We watch YouTube videos of scientists proclaiming that in a couple of years they will be able to put human ingenuity-created kidneys in patients who need them. We fantasize about that being a reality today—not 
in 2017.

Few nights pass where Harriett makes it through without deep sweats or fear that this may be her last. On many mornings, when the depression hits, and she doesn't want to get out of bed, the only thing we can do is joke about her not being able to cry because her anti-depressants won't let her.

Mired in this day-to-day grind, we have deep hope and a commitment to see this journey through until her health improves. Harriett is able to find humor where she can and find laughter in all of God's creations.

Someone recently told me that what we are going through as a couple is "very adult." That's an understatement. Most young couples in love don't imagine being caretakers at such a young age. Don't get me wrong: Harriett is far from being incapacitated. She is still vigorous with life, love, laughter and the will to push the people around her to be better.

Harriett's struggle is by no means unique—it's just somewhat more complicated now. As of this writing, our government is partially shut down thanks to the GOP's commitment to ensuring poor people stay poor and unhealthy, and rich people stay rich. Harriett is a federal government employee, and it's been some year for her—the sequester, a late paycheck, a shutdown and a kidney that won't work.

Should she ever change jobs, Harriett stands to benefit from Obamacare because she has a pre-existing condition. But that is beyond the point. All Americans will benefit from this law—if Congress and the states ever allow its full implementation. We will all be healthier if everyone has health care.

While we struggle for a kidney and for a job, our congressman, Rep. Gregg Harper, continues to vote to defund and repeal Obamacare, which is ironic given our district's standing as one of the poorest and least healthy in the country. Also ironic is that the National Kidney Foundation puts Mississippi at the top of the list of those states hardest hit by kidney failure. Harper continues to vote against the interests of his constituents. Maybe we will do something about that in 2014.

Rep. Harper is a Christian, and part of me wants to believe that he and his colleagues pray to the same God that Harriett does. That is a God who told us in Matthew 25: 34-36: "For I was hungry, and you gave me food. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you welcomed me. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you took care of me. I was in prison, and you visited me."

If this is really what guides our decision-makers, then I ask: Where are you when Harriett suffers? Where are you when low-income people can't eat or need health care?

As the sun and sky continue to slip into Harriett's brilliant space, we ask that you continue to pray, to hope and to believe that tomorrow will be better than today. We ask you to hold your leaders accountable, as we hold our loved ones accountable. We ask you to ask questions and to not submit to the lack of control we often feel.

I am sick of Harriett being a cause, but I feel free to use Harriett as an example to stand up and fight for. Because, eventually, it may be all we can do.

Jed Oppenheim is a citizen of Jackson. If you have type-O blood and are interested in donating a kidney to Harriett, please contact him at 310-994-1841.