Ellington

Judy McBride: "Allow me to provide you with a glimpse of mental-health conditions seldom recognized by the general public. Let's take a brief journey through Ward 6 and 3/5, also known as 'Almost 7.'

"What causes a person's mental demise or a nervous breakdown? Could it be a series of traumatic events? Why do we see an increase of mentally challenged folk in public talking to themselves? At the Ghetto Science Mental Health Institute for the Socially Challenged, a dedicated staff of mental health specialists and I are working diligently to resolve the mental issues of poor and common folk.

"Here is a middle-aged female in room 508 recovering from a nervous breakdown caused by a broken heart. Her husband left her for a younger woman who earns a six-figure income. Cable television reality shows, like 'I love New York,' 'Flava of Love,' 'Cheaters' and 'Jerry Springer' triggered her breakdown.

"In room 510, a man—staring at the side wall of his room and pretending he is on a computer—suffers from a behavior disorder called IOS. We psychologists call it 'Internet Overload Stimuli.' He just cannot stop surfing the Web!

"And a frustrated bigot in room 513 fumes over the very gradual social progress of minorities on cable and politics. This behavior was triggered by the successes of Barak Obama's presidential campaign, the Oprah Winfrey show and the Latin Grammys. For obvious reasons, we muffled the sound coming from this room.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is 'Almost 7.'"