Ellington

Hey beautiful peoples! Bone Qweesha Jones, your on-the-scene reporter, here with the socio-political/celebrity scoop! And it's all 'bout music! Coming to you live, rough, rugged and raw! D.G.I. (Darned Good Intelligence) Entertainment presents the long-awaited CD titled "Cussin'-N-Fussin-N-The House," courtesy of your vice president, Dick "Off The" Cheney. This CD features some highly anticipated, chart-climbing hits like "Get the F--K Out of My Face," "Pressure-N-Stress Off My Chest," "I Said It Before and I'll Say It Again: Cussin'-N-Fussin'-N-The House Remix" and "My Position Against 'Fahrenheit 9/11': Quit Disrespecting My Homie."

Check out the new CD entitled "Enough Has Been Said by Us" from Colin Powell and Friends featuring the classical piano stylings of Condoleeza Rice.

Bruh Michael Jackson makes a last-ditch attempt before he goes to trial to record a single titled "Something for the Children." Proceeds from the single—if it sells—will help pay for his trial costs, utilities for the Neverland estate, travel expenses and court settlement costs.

Look out for the No Child Left Behind Community Choir After School Make-Up tour. If the government funds this project, the choir will travel to several cities and extol the virtues of M.C. George Bushy's plan of no child left behind.

Finally, our resident satirist, Ken Stiggers, proudly celebrates writing this column for one year in the JFP. He humbly thanks everyone—ranging from state representatives to city employees—who support him with encouraging words. And he thanks the JFP for the opportunity to fulfill his duty to educate, entertain and inform the peoples.
Ken Stiggers is a TV producer in Jackson.