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[Lott] Base Closure

By a razor thin 49 to 47 vote, the Senate narrowly missed an opportunity to put overseas military bases ahead of domestic facilities in the anticipated 2005 base closure round. I introduced this amendment because a growing number in Congress feel it's time that we radically rethink America's antiquated commitment to aging Cold-War-era military bases overseas, especially in Western Europe where politically temperamental nations like Germany and France should start shouldering their own defense burden. The close vote shows support for changing or delaying the base closure process is growing, and this vote signals a significant shift in the base closure issue.

[Stiggers] You Get More Than A Drug Store

Cough Syrup: $12. Asprin: $5. Chunky Chicken Soup: $2. Cold Medicine and Vapor Rub: $20. You have bad cold and no sick day benefits at your job: FIRED!

[Stiggers] Your Car is a Hoopty When..

Your international hustler is here to help the peoples who drive their raggedy cars to a low-paying, no- Medicaid-benefits job with the greatest invention since the Pocket Fisherman.

[Lynch] Black Flammable Goop

Thanks to Katrina, the power is out at my place, just like it probably was, or is, at yours. As I walked out of my electricity-bereft house Wednesday morning and parked my wheezing car in the nearest gas line in the hot Mississippi sun, I tried to imagine what gasoline means to me these days, and I came to realize that I fear it's soon going to mean the end of life as we know it.

[Lynette's Note] My Heart Belongs To Daddy

Men fascinate me, and have for, oh, I'd say almost the entire 57 years I've been on this spinning orb. Men are deftly driving behemoth trains and trucks, fixing failed computers, making music on guitars and saxophones and turntables, frying fish and jalapenos, grilling steaks and pork tenderloins, coaching teams of youngsters, writing books, kneading bread or shaping burgers, wielding a chef's knife or brush or a computer program or a camera or a potter's wheel or a hammer in the name of creativity—loving and working for their families, friends, their cities and towns—all while expounding and enlightening and entertaining and enlivening.

[Kamikaze] The Beat Goes On

I have been busy planning the Music To Heal Mississippi Benefit (which was a huge success, thanks) and recording a new album. But I'm back this week and talking directly to music lovers of all ages and colors who always whine that there's nothing to do in Jackson.

[Stiggers] Fun In The ‘Hood

Ghetto Theme and Amusement Parks of America presents "Fun Summer Alternatives with Ghetto Economist Pookie Peters":

With or Without You, Haley

Well, Gov. Barbour, all us under-55 Mississippians got your message loud and clear last week. We don't matter. You don't care about us and what we think of you because, well, not enough of us are likely to vote for you.

Mr. Barbour: It's Time to Start Governing

It is telling that Haley Barbour was not in the state of Mississippi when he decided to call a special session this past weekend in a gambit to force the Mississippi House to pass Barbour's favored fix for Medicaid's 2005 funding woes this year. Because he couldn't make it back to the state in time, Lt. Gov. Amy Tuck signed the order to open the session.

[Stiggers] Buy A Steak And Eat It, Too

It's "Boneqweesha Live" from the vault of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank with Rudy McBride, bank president and the Ghetto Science Team's financial adviser.

[Fleming] Is Mississippi Awash in Ignorance?

This is how you start a firestorm. Nolan Finley, a columnist for The Detroit News, wrote this in a column dated May 1, 2005:

Issue No. 49

<b><u>Dear Kamikaze,</b></u>

Just to let you know, I enjoyed your somewhat predictable response to my letter ("you're white, so you can't possibly understand," ("The New Racism," July 13, 2005)). What an insult to so many, many people, both white and black, but that seems to be your credo. Sorry it took so long for me to get back with you, but I've been working and paying taxes. You know, that stuff Jim Crow allows me to do.

[Chick] The Baptist and The Feminist

One of my most difficult struggles as a Christian involves feminism. There. I said it. I'm a feminist. No, I don't wear combat boots, and yes, I love men like crazy. LOVE men. Wouldn't life be much simpler if I didn't? However, the exploitation of women's sexuality and the glaring double standard women battle every day deserve commentary even in 2005. The Equal Rights Amendment still lacks ratification, and I'd be a liar to say I think that's OK. And you thought my last column would ruin my dating chances.

Dean and the Elephants in Dixie

Charles Evers and I hit it off immediately the first time we met. We, after all, both have Neshoba County roots. My Daddy, it seems, used to drive him around in a taxi back when he did radio there. We have a common hero—his brother, Medgar. We both opposed the Iraqi War, as he wrote about in the JFP the week the war started. We both spent a fun evening at Jubilee! Jam chasing down Bob Dylan so he could thank him for a song he wrote for Medgar back in the '60s.

[Lott] The 2004 Agenda

In his State of the Union speech President Bush outlined an agenda which includes the War on Terrorism, tax cuts, job security and improving worker training, using our nation's community colleges. Passing a good national energy policy, a bold highway bill and preserving our military's edge must also be legislative priorities for 2004, and the American people deserve action on all these issues regardless of the partisan to-and-fro that an election year usually brings.

[Turner] From Djembe To MPC

The drum is a super projection of the human voice. Human force is combined with other natural forces—skin of animal, hollowed solid tree-trunk, etc.—as a medium for arousing the attention and reaction of mankind. The drum and the drummer, in mutual cooperation, create patterns of consciousness that give a moment of inspiration to those they touch.

[Stiggers] To Whom It May Concern

Dear F.E.M.A.: This is Brotha Hustle applying for a job with your organization. I figure if Mr. Brown can get a job with ya, so can I. Please check out my resume!

[Hightower] Mine's Bigger Than Yours

You can now splash the essence of Hummer all over your body! General Motors, the maker of this massive symbol of automotive macho, recently licensed a new Hummer cologne calling it "The Essence of Adventure," and pricing it as high as $52 for a Hummer-shaped bottle of the stuff. The scent is advertised as being "masculine with rugged and adventurous attributes." They go further, promising that this new fragrance "embodies all that Hummer is."

[Fleming] A Come to Jesus Meeting

Where were you at 4:30 p.m. on March 18, 2004? I know where I was. I was sitting at my desk in the House Chamber, listening to Rep. Willie Bailey, D-Greenville, rail against a bill, House Bill 1435 to be exact. My colleague, Rep. Philip Gunn, R-Clinton, had introduced 1435 to make sure that affidavit ballots were counted in a election by making them, essentially, same-day voter registration forms. Sounds like a good idea, right?

[Stiggers] Dr. Strange, or How to Learn to Not to Love Reality TV

Here's an important message from the law office of Cootie McBride, the people's lawyer: Some clients come to me with extremely large knots on their foreheads after taking a pain pill for aching joints. Other clients, who take diet pills to lose weight quickly, come to my office with a pinky toe the size of a big toe. Angry male clients, whose eyes are crossed after taking a few sexual enhancement pills, storm into my office. As the people's lawyer I have helped many individuals who took drugs with unusual physical side effects get the money they deserve.