[Stiggers] Church Pianists Gone Bad
Boneqweesha Jones: "This is Boneqweesha on the scene for Ghetto Science News, bringing you live coverage of the seizure of Crunchie Burga World by disgruntled customer and retired jazz/funk pianist 'Coal Black' Walker.
Jackson's PR Problem, Part Two
As I read Clarion-Ledger Executive Editor Ronnie Agnew's recent opinion piece, "Law Firm, CPA Move Just Plain Business," it occurred to me that his column seemed to be missing a word.
[Spirituality] Children of Abraham
This past May, along with 16 other Mississippians, I participated in a 10-day tour of Turkey at the invitation of the Institute for Interfaith Dialogue, an organization composed primarily of Muslims, Christians and Jews to foster reconciliation and peace throughout the world.
School Is Back, Parents Are Glad
The highlighted square of August 17 glows on my calendar, outshining all other dates like a beacon of light leading lost souls to their salvation. I'm not alone. The promise of school starting has most of my fellow mothers smiling in frenzied anticipation.
[Stiggers] Ball of Confusion!
Miss Doodle-Mae: "Greetings Jo-Jo's Discount Dollar Store customers! I'm your friendly cashier and security guard reminding financially challenged citizens about the Jo-Jo's Back-to-School Daze Sale Bonanza!
[Editor's Note] On The Road Again
Cartoon: Brokaw Discovers Hip-Hop
Youth Curfew A Bad Idea
Mayor Melton's state of emergency is over, but a youth curfew ordinance still remains on the books in Jackson. If the City Council is serious about combating juvenile crime, it will get rid of the curfew and concentrate on creating crime-fighting programs proven to reduce crime in the capital city.
[Stiggers] Angry Young Men
Bubba Robinski: "I want to thank the Ghetto Science Television network for allowing me to have my first Bubba's Kids Back-to-School Breakfast Program Pre-Labor Day Telethon—sponsored by L.M.H.F.D. National Bank, Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket and Bubba Robinski's microwavable, soy protein sausage biscuits.
[Kamikaze] Don't Just Get Mad
Everybody's got an opinion. Some folks are mad. Some folks are indifferent. A lot of folks didn't even see it. I'm talking about Tom Brokaw's exposé on Jackson. Those damn Yankees have come down here again and stirred up trouble.
How To Be Pro-Life
It was peaceful in Fondren this week, the "no public restrooms" signs gone from store windows, locals lunching outside Basil's without worrying about their children's growth being stunted by horrifying political photos.
[Hutchinson] The Price of The Death Penalty
Clarence Ray Allen was old, sick and disabled when he was executed at California's San Quentin prison on Jan. 17, 2006.
[Stiggers] Don't Feed The Natives
Ike (on a bike): "Welcome fellow cyclists to the Ghetto Science Team's Village Ghetto Land summer recreation bicycle tour—inspired by the Stevie Wonder album 'Songs in the Key of Life.'
[Publisher's Note] Frank Melton's PR Problem
Last week's "Chamber Confidential" e-newsletter from the MetroJackson Chamber of Commerce popped into my inbox, and the headline of Chamber President Duane O'Neill's note caught my eye: "Doing Business Under a 'State of Emergency.'" In as polite a way as he could, O'Neill made a very basic point:
One Day In a Cause
Today has been an upsetting, disturbing, thought-provoking day. Six weeks ago, I discovered the Unitarian Universalists. I've never been a religious person; I'm convinced that organized religion is not my thing. That makes me something of a social outcast here in the "buckle" of the Bible Belt. Not that it bothers me personally, but it's been isolating from time to time. Discovering the UUs, as they refer to themselves, has been invigorating. But this story isn't about religion.
[Stiggers] Pimp My Living Space
Ghetto Science Home and Garden Television presents "Pimp My Living Space." Join Grandma and Grandpa Pookie as they help you change your dump into a more livable dump.
We Shall Overcome
There is a certain despair spreading among many Jacksonians. Some devoted citizens are even saying they might leave the city because of Mayor Melton's antics and poor leadership. One JFP blogger, "justjess," posted under Adam's last cover story about the administration's apparent lack of a plan for fighting crime: "I try very hard to keep the optimism of 'ladd' that 'the city can and will prosper despite this administration'; however, I have the concern of 'madd' that 'this city is not going to prosper under this administration.'"
Death Penalty Doesn't Deliver
This month marks 30 years since the death penalty was reinstated in the United States. In the past 30 years, we as Americans have executed 1,031 people. Are we better off?
[Kamikaze] Daytime Drama
On my most recent trip to New York, I sat in my hotel room and watched in amazement at how much coverage the Star Jones/Barbara Walters debacle received. Sandwiched right between continuing coverage of the war in Iraq and the launch of the space shuttle Discovery, there were the ladies of "The View" at each others' throats again.
[Stiggers] Smacked Like Mammy
Boneqweesha Jones: "It's time for Boneqweesha's Entertainment Tonight report! This show is not associated with the B.E.T. network. I have the exclusive audio from a brief phone conversation between Sista Star Jones and Sis Condoleezza Rice.
[Greggs] Missing The Window
I first heard the phrase "missing the window" in my youth. It quite possibly was gleaned from one summer's obsession with the movie "Space Camp." You know the one, right? Kids go to Space Camp, kids accidentally get launched into space, Kate Capshaw was the "real" astronaut on the flight? Yes, it was extremely reality-based. I just recently discovered the cute valley girl in the film is Kelly Preston—John Travolta's Scientologist wife. For some reason, the very fact that she didn't know she would later marry "Danny Zuko" and completely lose her mind is very amusing to me. I often point to the screen and snicker at her references to space aliens in the movie—she has obviously been groomed since the early '80s for this dubious transformation into Scientologist alien queen.
Mr. Newhouse: Think ‘Community'
July 5, 2006 Get up to speed on The Clarion-Ledger's scheme here. Or, see Darren Schwindaman's TDN cartoon primer. Editor & Publisher magazine—a national industry bible for journalists, newspapers and news magazines—has a story in its current issue about the free distribution schemes that Gannett Corp. newspapers are implementing around the country. The story focused in large part on TDN ("The Distribution Network") in Jackson, Miss., spearheaded by the Clarion-Ledger.
[Hutchinson] Republicans Rip the Voting Rights Act
In 1980, Ronald Reagan told biographer Laurence Barrett that the 1965 Voting Rights Act was "humiliating to the South." The carefully handpicked, emotionally charged words from then GOP Republican presidential candidate aimed to tap into the fury of white Southerners over civil rights, and, of course, garner their votes.
[Stiggers] In My Beautiful Balloon
Judy McBride: "Welcome to the first meeting of the Ghetto Science Community Center's gripe, moan and complain (GMC) focus group. I've established this focus group for individuals who are close to the edge, and trying not to lose their heads in this wilderness. As a psychologist, I've realized that living in today's society is like a jungle, sometimes. And it makes me wonder how a person avoids going under.
Clinton, Coulter and Me
Former President Bill Clinton was not the biggest draw for me this month at the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies' national convention in Little Rock. I don't dig liars. Personally, I was more excited about the luncheon the day before when my staff brought home six awards—including first-place honors in newswriting for reporter Adam Lynch.
[Greggs] Help Is on the Way
Over the course of an average week as a mental health professional, I see many individuals in my office that most people would deem "crazy." I am often amazed they have managed to escape both detection and a good mental health assessment for as long as they have. You would be astonished by the number of people out there walking around slap out of their damn minds. Frequently I find they usually manage keeping up this façade of perfect mental health for extended periods largely thanks to a fair amount of ready cash. Nothing in this world protects crazy like money. Think Michael Jackson. Totally crazy, totally rich, totally got off.
[Stiggers] The Pied Pipers of Crime Control
Jethro "Drum Stick" Johnson and Martin "Blue Note" Smith of the Ghetto Science Team Crime Prevention Association propose a new crime prevention program.
[Editor's Note] Mayoral Stunts Hurting Jackson
I'm mad. And I'm getting madder by the day at the joke that Mayor Frank Melton is making out of the city of Jackson, a city I love, a city so many are working to make into a world-class home and destination.
[Stiggers] One Mo' Time
Mo'tel Williams, Brotha Hustle, Qweem-O-Wheat and Grandpa Pookie introduce the "Po' People's Diet"—a nutrition and lifestyle alternative for the financially challenged.
[Kamikaze] Shut Out by the Queen
Housewives all over America are waiting with bated breath. Will she or won't she respond to these scathing allegations? How long will she tolerate the name-calling?
Meet MIPA
June 14, 2006 As you may know by now, The Clarion-Ledger has recently revealed The Distribution Network (TDN), a scheme to control the distribution of free publications in the Jackson Metro. The Clarion-Ledger met with area retailers, telling them that the newspaper would be happy to clean up the "mess" of free distribution racks in front of their stores by offering a single, 9-panel distribution box owned by the C-L. All the retailer has to do is sign away to The C-L the exclusive right to manage free publication distribution in exchange for 25 percent of the big box's revenue to the retailer. (That tops out at $12 under the current pricing.)