[Stiggers] Something in the Meat Ain't Clean
In the wake of the current United States beef problem, the Lacto-Vegetarian Church International invites the public to attend an alternative nutrition, lifestyle and spiritual conference: "Something In The Meat Ain't Clean: Living the Non-Carnivorous Life." Hear the Rev. Bean Sprout of the Lacto-Vegetarian Church International deliver a profound, spiritual message titled "Soy Protein: The Fiber Of Our Lives." Listen to the Rev. Dr. Thomas Vegan III speak on the topic of "Prophetic Advertising: Cows Convince Masses To Eat More Chicken." Dr. Peanut of the George Washington Carver Holistic Health Commission of Tuskegee, Ala., will share information from his new book "Tofu as Soul Food.''
[Stiggers] Post-Saddam Clearance Sale!
Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein is in jail. So it's time for a sale! Pookie Peterz, your international hustler, has capitalized on other people's property, and he is coming to your city with the greatest sale of 2003. Since the recent fall and capture of the totalitarian Iraqi leader, Pookie and his Hustler's international retail experts have smuggled—oops, I mean acquired—several valuable items from the headquarters and palaces of the former Iraqi dictator.
[Stiggers] Afrocentric Ghost of Kwanzaa Present
"Terminator 2003: No More Token Minorities" is an exciting sci-fi-reality-docu-drama starring Gov. Arnold Swarzenegger as he attempts to terminate college prep courses in predominately minority schools. Michael Jackson makes a cameo appearance as convicted pedophile "Touchie Feelie."
[Stiggers] Fresh Breath is Coming to Town
Season's greetings, folkses! This is your favorite non-black, Mo'tel Williams, along with the Sausage Sandwich Sisters, also known as the Electric Slide Ambassadors for World Peace and Rent Money. We know that 2003 has been a year of putrid mouths spewing out foul phrases. Now the air is polluted with negative thoughts as misinformed masses bask in lethargy and apathy because the world is at war, the economy is in decay, nations are in conflict, religion is steeped in controversy, the issue of race remains unsolved and Girls Gone Wild Doggy Style. And if you hear anyone say, "life stinks," it's because the world has a bad case of halitosis.
[Stiggers] Poor Health and Bad Credit
Now that the political season is over, the Stop the Hamhock Decrease the Pork Grease Coalition wants to enlighten the public about Chitterling ("Chitlin") Season, a time during the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year holidays when varieties of pork products—especially chitlins—are bought and consumed.
[Stiggers] Colin Sings the Blues
The election campaign movie feature "Mississippi Mudd Slangin': Don't Start No Stuff, Won't Be No Stuff" will return after this commercial break. ... Blues fans, listen to America's homegrown music, courtesy of the secretary of state. DGI (Darned Good Intelligence) records present "Colin Powell and Friends Sing the Blues." This 2 CD set features some of your favorite blues, country and folk songs performed by White House staffers and their friends. Listen to Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas sing the Clarence Carter classics Strokin' (a duet with Anita Hill) and Patches. And how about Rush Limbaugh's former house maid. singing a soulful rendition of Aretha Franklin's "Dr. Feelgood":
[Stiggers] What You Talkin' About?
"I'm sick and tired of hearin' your song tellin' us how you're gonna change right from wrong. Well, if you really want to hear my view, you haven't done nothin' "
[Stiggers] Escape from Jacktown!
Funkee Fanger Filmworks/Productions, Inc., Esq.,Co.,LLC,OPP,Yeah U Know Me (producers of the upcoming HBO Pay-Per-View event titled "Rumble In The Political Arena"—featuring City of Jackson officials and journalists) lyrically proposes this rough treatment/music video idea titled "Escape from Jacktown: Urban Flight."
[Stiggers] Fall for These Books
"Kizzy Speaks: Massa George and Me" is a delightful narrative in ebonic dialect by Condoleeza Rice as she extols the virtues of the M.C. George Bushy's "I'm Not Down with WMD Pre-emption" Reggae Tour of African Nations. Lynne Cheney provides a poignant standard English introduction.
[Stiggers] Darned Good Rhyme
In an effort to reach a younger audience, DGI (Darn Good Intelligence) and Bring Em On Records present M.C. George Bushy's new hiphop single "Back Dem Tanks Up: Speech Aftermath, pt 2 (The Remix)" from the CD "Those who Know Don't Tell, and Those who Tell Don't Know"—featuring George "Blame it on the Rain" Tenet, Condoleeza "Kizzy Speaks" Rice, Colin "Where's Waldo" Powell and the White "In the Howse" Staff. Here are a few lines from the single. ...
[Stiggers] Col. Reb's Last Stand
Concert and event promoters: Have I got an idea for you! Man, this could be the biggest gala event in the "state of minds" of Mississippians! I'm thinking of a retirement celebration for Col. Reb. Let's call it the "Stone Soul" picnic, disco, gun show and hiphop concert featuring guest M.C. George Bushy, D.J. Dick "Off the" Cheney and Secretary of "D-Fence" Rumsfeld's Weapons of Mass Destruction Search Posse performing the chart-climbing single "Back Dem Tanks Up"; the new millennium world beat hit (oops, I did say hit?) "Preemption Song"; and the billboard No. 1 single "Air Strike: Drop It Like It's Hott!"
Funkee Fanger Productions
"Unsolved Mysteries of Butt Nekkid Divorcees" combines reality TV with the paranormal. The premiere episode (titled "Know a Playa When You See His Azz") features a segment about a mysterious news photographer who videotapes a surprised and "buck nekkid" Kirk Fordice. News anchor Bert Case is the special guest host.
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