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[Greggs] Ali G's Magnificent 2006 Predictions
Last year on New Year's, I made a resolution against resolutions. My logic for this decision was knowing that if I truly wanted to change something about myself, I could wake up some random Tuesday in March and make the same promise with the same results. I guess this gives a pretty good idea how well my resolutions have previously been integrated into my life. Yes, like hurricane relief in the Senate. Empty. Freaking. Promises.
Going Dr. Laura On Your Ass
Perhaps Asa Carter, a Klansman and the secretary of the North Alabama White Citizens Council, said it best in 1956:
Damned If We Don't
The weekend Katrina hit, Kate Medley and I were in the Natchez area finishing research and art for the package of stories that you'll read in this issue. This time in Adams and Franklin counties, as Kate and I got to know people like Burl Jones, a Klan victim who had never been interviewed about the experience, and then watched burly Wharlest Jackson Jr. bawl like a baby describing his daddy's murder that has gotten so little attention over the years, I was still seething about a little ditty in The New York Times that belittled Southerners who are trying to confront our past.
[Greggs] Why Not Just Turn Gay?
The other day I was lying around with a friend discussing my less-than-stellar dating life and wondering what it would be like if I expended all that time doing something useful, like eating. At one point during the conversation she looked at me very knowingly and asked the question I have heard from more than one person on more than one occasion, "Why don't you just turn gay?" This is asked like sexual orientation is a knob on the stove that keeps the cookies from burning.
[Chick] Oh, Snap
"Oh, snap!" That's what Monkey said when he realized he was going to miss a barbecue while with his dad at the beach. I was both shocked and amused. "Did you just say snap?"
My So-Called Holiday Column
They say that during the holidays, you're supposed to stop and consider what you're thankful for. (OK, this is starting out cheesy, I know. Work with me here.) Combine that seasonal desire with the fact that Donna assigned me the Publisher's Note this week, and you get what you paid for—a Publisher's Note in which I offer up a laundry list of the things that have me smiling this season.
Oh, Say Can We See?
When Mazie Moore saw that picture in Jet Magazine in 1955, it terrified the Franklin County mother. Mamas across the South, black mamas, were hearing about the photo. They took it as a warning to protect their boys from the wrath of angry white men. She couldn't, though: One of her sons, Charles, would be brutally murdered in 1964, just because he stepped in the path of hateful white men out to terrorize young black men. And no one did anything about it. Her son's life didn't matter.
Sensational ‘Suburban Legends'
Perhaps the biggest single flaw that The Clarion-Ledger has in its recent addition to its "Changing Face of Jackson" series is the fact that it doesn't include itself in the litany of problems that the newspaper claims are holding back the city of Jackson.
[Mangum] Every Child, One Voice?
"Hey, FAGGOT!" Not exactly what you want to hear starting the school day, right? But I can't tell you the number of days of my Mississippi junior high school life that began with this greeting.
[Greggs] One Tiny Little Pink Line
On some rather innocuous Sunday eight years ago, I was a 21-year-old recent college graduate just back from a camping trip. I sat on the edge of a bathtub and anxiously awaited the results of a pregnancy test. It wasn't mine. The test belonged to my last official college roommate. She forced me to take the second test in the two-pack just to make her feel better. She then forced me to watch two white plastic sticks for the longest 300 seconds in my life and tell her the results. When she finally screamed "What does it say?", I could only answer, "Well, one of 'em ain't good, but it ain't mine."
[Stiggers] Tale Of Two Nations
We interrupt Oprah's Lexus from Texas Luxury Car Giveaway show to bring you a special holiday message from Rudy McBride, C.E.O. of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank.
Wanted: A Strong , Safe Jackson
The decision by Mayor Frank Melton and Chief Shirlene Anderson to eliminate the eight-member Crime Prevention Unit of the Jackson Police Department (along with approximately 10 other JPD positions) upset many Jacksonians. The crime prevention specialists in Precinct 4 were regular contributors to Community Oriented Policing (COPS), a citizens' crime prevention group whose meetings I help moderate.
Call the Roll on Dirty Politics
Disturbing statements have been coming from inside Mayor Frank Melton's inner circle since he and his bodyguards were indicted Sept. 15 for home invasion and demolition. To put it simply, paid Melton supporters are trying to convince city residents—especially "the people"—that he was acting as a crime-fighting hero when he allegedly ordered minors to sledgehammer the rental home of schizophrenic Evans Welch.
[Stiggers] Toot That Honky Horn
Broadcasting live from Lil' Ray-Ray's rigged satellite dish television network studio and home entertainment center, it's the Brotha Hustle TV Moment.
Letter To A Young Mayor
First, allow me to thank you for giving me so much of your time over the last six weeks. Your frankness in our series of interviews seems to have captivated the city and started many conversations about the future of Jackson and how to get there.
[Greggs] The Vanilla City
This next statement pains me to admit: I live in Madison. There, I said it. It's not that I don't love my home out here in the country. I do. Its "free-rentness" is a large factor in why I love it so much. Its ability to stay approximately 40 degrees during the entire month of August is another reason. But there is obviously some shame for me in the admission, as I love Jackson and everything about it.
[Greggs] The Love Of Power
I've been reading the "The 48 Laws of Power" recently. I won't take credit for buying it, as it was a gift from a friend. A gift, that once I figured out what the book was about, immediately made him suspect in my eyes. I wanted to question him extensively about Law Number 21 ("Play a sucker to catch a sucker"). Today, as with most days, I feel like a sucker.
[Stiggers] The Pied Pipers of Crime Control
Jethro "Drum Stick" Johnson and Martin "Blue Note" Smith of the Ghetto Science Team Crime Prevention Association propose a new crime prevention program.
Frank Melton Is Not A Child
"I didn't shred the documents. I tore them up with my hands." Well, then. I guess we now know what the meaning of the word "shred" is.
Put The Pros On The Police Beat
As of this writing, Donna Ladd has spent at least 30 hours over two weeks with Mayor Frank Melton in interviews, phone calls, ride-alongs, press conferences and visits at his home to meet the young men he fosters. A good deal of her reporting went into the cover story for this issue, second in a series of interviews and stories on the complicated man who is our mayor.