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Patsies and Parcells

The NFL playoffs resume on Saturday which makes this a perfect time to read Charles P. Pierce's essay on the myth of the tough Boston sports fans and Mike Shropshire's on God's coach, Bill Parcells, who naturally coaches God's team, the Dallas Cowboys. Amen.

Bowers Wow Wow

The SEC basketball season got off to a rousing start as Mississippi State rallied from a 10-point deficit to beat Ole Miss 61-54 Wednesday night before a capacity crowd in Oxford. The Sun Herald's Jim Mashek and the Daily Journal's Gene Phelps say Timmy Bowers was the difference maker. Is it too early to start playing Bracketology?

Tears For Mr. Spears?

Sawyer: Were these two a couple before this?

Sports fans are still buzzing about one of the biggest stories of the year: No, it's not Pete Rose or who's No. 1 in college football, it's Britney Spears' wedding. Matt Hays, a columnist for ESPN's Page 2, provides the 411 on the wedding of the century (so far). Speaking of Britney, did you see Diane Sawyer's interview with a pair of the former Mr. Spears' homeboys on ABC on Tuesday morning? It probably wasn't the proudest moment in the history of Kentwood, La.

A Skate That Will Live In Infamy

From badjocks.com:

Can you believe it was exactly ten years ago Tuesday (Jan. 6, 1994) that Nancy Kerrigan was whacked on the knee and Tonya Harding started the long road toward becoming a mediocre professional boxer? Well, Tonya's hoping people will forget what happened back then, stating "It's just like, you know, that was then and this is now, and I've gone on with my life." Ah Tonya, always the gifted speaker, you took the, uh, you know, the uh, words--yeah, that's it--right out of my mouth. Please don't have my knee smacked! Full story

The Knob Of God?

When pro soccer makes it in America, hopefully we will have more stories like this one. Yahoo News reports, "Argentinian police are searching for a fake penis used by Diego Maradona to beat drug tests while playing for Napoli in Italy.The fake plastic manhood was filled with 'clean' urine to make sure the footballer's sample was acceptable.The plastic piece was given to a museum in Buenos Aires but disappeared on a countrywide tour." Wait, it gets worse. "A police source told the (UK's) Daily Star Sunday: 'It's quite an unusual theft but I suppose it is valuable because of its former owner. We're confident we can sniff it out.' "

Charlie Hustler

Pete Rose admits he bet on baseball in his new book. Shocking. This just in ... O.J. killed two people and got away with it. BTW, Pete's new autobiography turns his 1989 autobiography into fiction. Oops. Now we knew what Pete needed to set the record straight: the right literary agent.

Sweet Rose Bowl

Southern Cal ran through Michigan in the Rose Bowl like Reuben through a buffet line. The Trojans only won 28-14, but that was because Pete Carroll was being polite. It wasn't that close. Look for the "BCS bitchfest" (as anonymousPrime so eloquently put it) to reach new heights in the coming week. Meanwhile, LSU is going to beat Oklahoma in the BCS title game (aka the Sugar Bowl) 24-17.

Rebs Roll Cowboys

All hail the Ole Miss Elis for their nail-biting 31-28 victory over Oklahoma State in the Cotton Bowl. Ole Miss won't be nearly as much fun to follow now that the second generation of Mannings is leaving Oxford.

Rebels In High Cotton

Ole Miss plays Oklahoma State on Thursday in the Cotton Bowl. It should be one of the more entertaining games of the bowl season. (Of course, Dr. S thought the Liberty and Rose bowls would be a lot of fun to watch, too.) But Dr. S will give the nod to Eli and the Greys ... UM 35, OSU 27

Rebel Yelp

Former Jacksonian Alex Heard tells Slate why he loves Ole Miss and you should, too. Uh, Alex, would you settle for Dr. S pulling for the Rebels in the Cotton Bowl? Dr. S also agrees with Alex that Ole Miss' football uniforms are among the best in college football. So good that the N.Y. Giants decided several years ago that they wanted to wear 'em, too.

Who's No. 1?, Part 1

In "2001: A Space Odyssey" a computer gone amok attempted to destroy a mission to one of the moons of Jupiter. In 2003, computer polls gone amok destroyed the BCS. Southern Cal should be in the Sugar Bowl, not the Rose Bowl, playing for the national championship. Instead, USC is playing Michigan in today's Rose Bowl, thanks to the antics of the BCS computers. If the Trojans win, they will almost certainly win the AP national title. Is there some way we can blame this on Saddam?

USM Offense MIA

Utah 17, Southern Miss 0. Dr. S didn't see that one coming. Of course, Dr. S thought USM's offense was going to show up for the game. It didn't. And what was Jeff Bower thinking putting Micky D'Angelo into the game? It looked like the guy suffered another concussion when he got sacked near the end of the game. According to the spies in Hattiesburg, you can take whatever number of concussions they give for D'Angelo concussions and at least double it.

Bowl. Liberty Bowl.

Dr. S has to confess that he's been largely ignoring the college bowls in favor of Spike TV's 7 Days of Bond. You can't watch those James Bond movies enough. Even the bad ones are good. Most bowl games, on the other hand ... ugh ... OK, since Southern Miss is going to play Utah in the Liberty Bowl in, oh, 30 minutes or so, it's time for some pithy Dr. S analysis on the big game: USM 31, Utah 21.

Saints: The Agony Continues

The New Orleans Saints' miserable season came to a merciful end on Sunday when the Saints defeated the playoff-bound Dallas Cowboys, 13-7. The Saints finished 8-8, but were one missed extra point away from a possible 9-7 (and several stupid plays away from making the playoffs). In many ways, the Saints are what the NFL has become in the era of free agency. Just about any team is only a few plays from going to the Super Bowl. Dynasties are a thing of the past. This year's doormat could be next year's champ. It may drive the sports media (and bettors) crazy, but one can't argue with the results. The NFL is more popular than ever (and one of the few pro sports whose TV ratings have actually gone up this year). ... Paging Mr. Horn ...

Checking Slate

Outside of the Amazing SportsBlog, Slate is one of the best sites on the Web to find good sports articles. Here's two of the latest: 1) Josh Levin wonders why football doesn't have its own numbers guru like baseball's Bill James. And shows the way to a couple of numbers-intensive football sites along the way. 2) In Uni Watch, Paul Lukas examines the ways in which pro athletes modify their uniforms.