Sports

March Misery

Southern Miss' miserable basketball season is finally over. The Golden Eagles lost to Saint Louis 62-56 Wednesday night in the first round of the CUSA tournament.

How The Zebra Got His Stripes

Uniwatch offers something unusual: The evolution of the referee's uniform. The story is told with rare photos and the usual bitchy fashion criticism.

Vancouver Canucks goon Todd Bertuzzi is facing a lengthy suspension and possible criminal charges for his cheap shot on Colorado Avalanche forward Steven Moore that left Moore with a broken neck and a concussion. This comes on the heels of last week's Ottawa/Philadelphia fight (which was interrupted by brief interludes of hockey). Is this supposed to convince Doctor S to watch more NHL? Mission accomplished.

SEC's Top Dogs

Mississippi dominates the AP All-SEC team. Mississippi State's Lawrence Roberts (the Player of the Year) and Timmy Bowers head the team. Jackson's own Justin Reed, of Ole Miss, is also a first-teamer. And Bulldogs coach Rick Stansbury is the league's coach of the year.

One Way To Break Into NASCAR

Florida police say an 18-year-old man stole a luxury car with the keys left in the ignition, drove it to Homestead-Miami Speedway, barrelled past security guards who tried to flag him down, ripped through the closed gates and took several laps around the track, the Miami Herald reports.

Happy MSU, Sad USM

In one of the greatest college basketball games Doctor S has witnessed, Mississippi State rallied from an 18-point deficit in the second half and beat Alabama 82-81 on Saturday. The Bulldogs won their first outright SEC title since 1963 and, probably, locked up a No. 1 seed in the NCAA Tournament. But before the NCAA begins, there's the matter of the SEC Tournament, which starts on Thursday in Atlanta. The Bulldogs play on Friday against the winner of Thursday's Ole Miss-Vandy game.

A Dirty Game?

What is the dirtiest college sport? According to Slate, it's flag football. Who knew? During Doctor S' undergraduate days (both of them), flag football was a good way to work up a thirst before repairing to the local beer emporium and a school-sanctioned venue for smacking around some KAs and petroleum engineering majors.

Not The Dogs' Day

Alabama rolled into Starkville on Saturday and beat No. 4 Mississippi State 77-73. It was the first time the Bulldogs had lost since mid-January and only the second time all season. Sure, it was nice to be ranked highly in the AP poll, but the NCAA Tournament seedings are what State is really playing for.

Bungling in Boulder (updated)

Colorado has named an interim football coach, but suspended coach Gary Barnett says he expects to be reinstated. Think again, Gary. If there was ever a candidate for the NCAA death penalty, it's Colorado's football program. But it will never happen. CU football will go on, but without Gary.

Another Question You Didn't Ask Answered

In a shocking development, San Francisco 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia has come out of the closet and revealed that he is heterosexual. Uh, thanks Jeff. Meanwhile, Garcia refuses to answer two burning questions: 1) Why didn't the 49ers make the playoffs last year?, and 2) Jeff, why do you fumble so much?

Dumb and Dumber

Colorado will probably be looking for a new football coach soon. And a new athletic director and president, too. Coach Gary Barnett said something really stupid in response to a former female kicker's charge that she was raped in 2000. So stupid that the school president suspended him with pay. Doctor S predicts Barnett will be gone in a week. And the prez will soon follow.

Random Rants

YES it's been sort of a slow sports month, outside of college basketball. However, Uni Watch weighs in with an excellent critique of the uniforms pro sports leagues dress their players in for their all-star games. (Did February always have so much all-star crap? And did anybody besides Doctor S actually watch the Pro Bowl? Doctor S would have watched the NHL All-Star Game, but there was a "Barbarians" marathon on the History Channel that day. And yes, the Doctor did watch the NBA All-Star Game, but only because he's a huge Michael McDonald fan.

Smith-Wills Coming Attractions

March 16: Mississippi State vs. Louisiana Tech, 6:30 p.m.

Jackson-area fans of the Big 3 will get a chance to see their favorite team this season at Smith-Wills Stadium. The schedule:

The Boys of Winter

Waterproof Arctic weather gear? Check.

Nope, just assembling the required equipment for a trip to an early season college baseball game in Mississippi.

Miss Jackson You're Nasty

Now Janet Jackson says the Super Bowl halftime strip show was planned, but it went too far. It was a wardrobe "malfunction." At least JJ and Justin Timberfake are sticking to their script. Oh yeah, Janet's label released her new single on Monday. Doctor S is sure tha was just a conincidence. CBS should gladly pay the fine that's coming. You can't buy this kind of publicity. We're still talking about it, aren't we? (If you didn't see the ballgame and the boob, don't feel alone. Hitch magazine's Rod Lott never watches the Super Bowl. The heathen.)

Ellington