Ellington

"Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I'll show you someone who has overcome adversity." —Lou Holtz

Jackson Free Press editor-in-chief Donna Ladd did a great column for the JFP Football issue (Vol. 9, Issue 52, Aug. 31-Sept. 6). In "Learning to Win," she wrote about learning to win in life, using sports to make her point.The article took me back to a time when I played sports. While I was nowhere near as talented as Marcus Dupree, whom she wrote about, a coach did tell me that we had to learn how to win.

Learning how to win should be easy; you just have to have more points than your opponent at the end of game. But becoming a winner is not that easy. You have learn to do the right things to win, not make mistakes at critical times and believe you are going to win.

Donna's article brought me to another aspect of sports and life just a few weeks later as I was lying on my couch watching pre-season NFL football. My phone rang. I was annoyed by being bothered during football and looked to see who was calling. It was my older sister, Jennefer, who lives on the Coast.

Since she rarely if ever calls me, I jumped to answer the phone, thinking something major was wrong.

Jennefer asked if I was busy, and could I talk to her son Mason. She needed me in uncle capacity. She had recently signed up her sons Marshall and Mason for football, which made me one proud uncle. Her husband, Eric, is in the Navy and is deployed, which makes her a single mother.

She said her youngest son, Mason, needed a pep talk. After a rough day at football practice, he wanted to quit and become the water boy. I had her put Mason on the phone, and I gave him a pep talk about trying your best, working hard and not quitting.

Again, Donna's article was in my head, but slowly I began to think about another part of sports. Late in September, I traveled to the Florence soccer fields to watch my niece Celeste play soccer.

Again, I was a proud uncle watching her play sports, something I love so much.

On this particular hot night, I watched as Celeste's team was overmatched from the beginning of the game. The other team scored four goals in the first six-minute quarter. This confident young girl's shoulders started to slump, and her head began to hang.

I am not some crazy relative who thinks my family members are future pros. I do want them to give maximum effort and try their best. My heart was breaking watching Celeste give her best effort, against a much better team.

At halftime, Celeste's team was down eight goals to none. She came over to her mom to get water. Elizabeth, my sister, told her to hurry up so she could get back to the coach. Celeste looked up and asked: "Why should I? We are already down a gazillion goals to none." My sister had no words for her.

I quickly pulled Celeste next to me and told her: "Darling, I know you aren't winning and may not win, but you have to keep trying. Quitting is easy, but going back and playing is hard. Going back and playing is what makes me proud of you."

Celeste thinks I am a sports god, so she puffed out her chest and told me she was going to play hard for me. That is when it hit me. The other half of Donna's article was about learning to lose.

Life throws us obstacles every day. As important as it is to learn to win, it is also important to learn how to lose the right way.

Football coach Lou Holtz once said, "Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond to it." Celeste and Mason have two choices: quit or pick themselves up and keep working to get better and try to win. Mason and Marshall got better and are both getting playing time. Celeste kept her head up and played even better the next game in a loss. The game after that, she called me excitedly because her team had won.

Previous Comments

ID

165208

Comment

Great column, Bryan. I emailed copies to the coaches for the 49er and Lions. I wanted the Lions to win too. I also wanted to Cowboys to win. Now we got to defeat the Patriots? If we don't win we may start a fight. Just kidding! Your niece and nephew are lucky to have a grounded and sane uncle as a mentor. Some kid somewhere recently put a coach in the hospital. And we know too well that high school and little league coaches are constantly under stress from overbearing parents and fans.

Author

Walt

Date

2011-10-18T16:35:18-06:00

ID

165215

Comment

Thank you, Walt. I am glad you like the article. I am not saying I am sane but I try to use sports as teachable moments when possible. Again thank you for the kind words.

Author

Bryan Flynn

Date

2011-10-20T07:42:25-06:00