Ellington

It was lunch time on a Wednesday, and two groups of young adults raced to assemble Spiderman and Diego puzzles without the help of the pictures on the box lids. The point of this frustrating exercise was to demonstrate the second habit of a successful marriage or relationship: Begin with the end in mind. How can a couple move forward productively in their relationship without having a shared sense of what they are working toward?

The Metropolitan YMCAs of Mississippi have partnered with New Horizon Church, the North Midtown Community Development Corp., the Center for Domestic Violence and Consumer Credit Counseling Services to offer a program called "Partners For Life: A Healthy Marriage Initiative." The relationship-building program is funded through a grant by the Mississippi Department of Human Services.

Joe Bennett, the executive director of the YMCA's Family Support Services, said that this program teaches "skills to form and maintain better relationships." The full training program lasts eight weeks. Not all participants are married, but the principles, taken from "The 8 Habits of a Successful Marriage" by Jane and John Covey, can be applied in order to strengthen any kind of relationship.

Bennett's motivation in offering this program is decreasing domestic violence and child abuse by encouraging the formation and maintenance of stable, two-parent families. This message is especially important to Mississippi, where 47 percent of children live in single-parent homes. Bennett emphasized that children growing up in stable, two-parent families are much more likely to be physically and mentally healthy, to excel in school and to avoid poverty.

"Healthy marriages are the best way to protect children from abuse," Bennett said.

During the meeting, participants brainstormed, defining their values and priorities before creating mission statements for their lives and their relationships. They used words like love, education, children and trust. "If you ain't got trust, you ain't got nothing," one young woman piped up.

Bennett described one couple on the brink of divorce who entered the Partners For Life program after a court ordered them to attend counseling. The couple arrived to the first session in separate cars. They sat at opposite ends of the room and even got into a fight at one point during the session.

"They had to be physically separated," Bennett said.

But by the third session, the couple arrived in the same car and even held hands. The program helped them to have a productive conversation about their relationship and reinvest in their marriage.

"This is obviously an extreme case," Bennett said, "but the program really works."

Participants can get referrals for follow-up mentoring, and support regarding domestic violence, mental health, financial health and other matters. Currently, the program is designed for low-income participants, but Bennett hopes to develop a similar, more inclusive program to offer through local churches and corporations.

The average age of participants is in the range of 19 to 20 years old. Many are not married, but Bennett emphasized the importance of teaching "what a good relationship looks like early on," before young adults get entangled by negative romantic attachments.

Previous Comments

ID

68256

Comment

Bennett described one couple on the brink of divorce who entered the Partners For Life program after a court ordered them to attend counseling. The couple arrived to the first session in separate cars. They sat at opposite ends of the room and even got into a fight at one point during the session. “They had to be physically separated,” Bennett said. But by the third session, the couple arrived in the same car and even held hands. The program helped them to have a productive conversation about their relationship and reinvest in their marriage. “This is obviously an extreme case,” Bennett said, “but the program really works.” That's remarkable! I wonder if that couple's still together.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2008-02-06T23:14:21-06:00