Ellington

With every New Year, there are some resolutions that predictably fall flat by Valentine's Day, if not a several weeks sooner. Topping the discard list: Lose weight and exercise more.

Why do those resolutions so often bite the dust despite our best intentions? Experts point to one possible reason: They're not specific enough.

OK, so adjusting for non-specificity, we say: Lose 30 pounds and exercise an hour a day.

Nope, that doesn't work either. Why? Because along with specificity, resolutions must target a change in behavior instead of simply achieving some nebulous goal. Without changing the underlying behavior those 30 pounds will come back. Fast. Trust me. I know.

So how do you make a resolution that will have lasting results? Construct it so that it requires you—intentionally and mindfully—to alter your lifestyle.

If you want to lose weight, for example, just eating less junk food might take off a few pounds, but changing your relationship to your body and to food will go much farther and produce far greater rewards.

First, resolve to accept your body as it is, at this moment. Wow, radical thought. How the heck will that help?

One of the undeniable laws of the universe is this: What you resist persists. Don't believe me? Test it out for yourself. Resisting cleaning your house? How's that coming along? Resisting paying off your credit cards? Which direction is the balance going? Resisting your mother's advice? Is she giving any less? Got the picture?

So, if what you resist persists, if you can't accept your body exactly the way it is, right now, chances are high that it will not change, at least not permanently. It's only after you've reached some level of acceptance that you can begin to see clearly what you need to do to make a lasting impact. That clarity becomes your intention—in this moment—as opposed to some far-off-in-the-future goal.

Regarding food, instead of "lose 30 pounds," a better resolution might be, "eat food that supports my wellbeing," which can be a powerful intention.

If you look at it like it's your enemy and staunchly resist everything you want to eat, you will eventually fail, gobbling up the entire cheesecake in one sitting because you've resisted it for sooooo long. Instead, try bringing some awareness to the process. If you want to lighten up, find out what foods makes your body feel light, bright and energetic, and what foods makes it heavy, slow and lethargic. Common sense should then tell you to eat more of the former and less of the latter.

If you bring the same kind of self-awareness to exercise, the solution will tend to present itself. First, you have to know what your intention is for exercise. Do you want to feel less depressed or anxious? If so, what activities would support a better mental outlook? Suddenly, it's no longer just about raising your endorphins; it's about doing what works.

Do you simply want to burn off calories? How about changing that short-term goal to an intention that could serve you the rest of your life, something like "move gracefully through life in ease and comfort." How's that for a potentially powerful intention? Now, check out a dance class or jazzercise, which are both big calorie burners.

One key in finding the right exercise is your own personality, likes and dislikes. You simply won't stick with exercise you hate—and why should you? Are you a loner? Forget the team sports, then, and think about a walk/jog/run instead. Conversely, if you're a social butterfly, get yourself to the basketball court to play with a whole big gang. And, by the way, it's OK to change your mind about what works for you, too.

Where most people fail in maintaining an exercise program is by starting with too much, too fast, and then becoming sore or even injuring themselves, giving them a great excuse not to go back. Find a bigger context for exercise in your life, and forget the old adage of "no pain, no gain." Slow and steady is the name of this game. Find a knowledgeable teacher or coach who can help you get started right and you'll enjoy exercise more and get more benefits out of it.

Lastly, don't condemn yourself when you fall off the resolution wagon. This is your life, and your resolution. Like I tell myself and my students when a yoga pose is really challenging: "It's perfectly OK to temporarily come out of a pose that you simply can't hold any longer, or to not do it 'perfectly' today (or any other day, for that matter). Just don't give up completely. Take a breath; start again."

Ultimately, of course, you will have to buckle down and do the work; there is no "silver bullet" to change. And there's never a better time to start than right now. So go ahead, make your resolutions. Just be sure you're not sabotaging your efforts before you even start.

Here's to a Healthy, Happy New Year!