Ellington

Why is The Clarion-Ledger in so much trouble? Here's a good hint: Top editor Ronnie Agnew's column today starts this way:

When he walks around an auditorium, noteless and untethered, there are few people better on their feet than Jackson Mayor Frank Melton. When he's not constricted by the confines of a podium, able to wander about, that's when he's at his best.

Much of what I've seen of Melton's final State of the City address showed the eloquent speaker that the mayor has always been. It provided a flashback to his motivational speaking days at Boys and Girls Club banquets all over Mississippi and his biting television commentaries that tore into the hide of many a politician.

Can everyone spot the basic writing problems here? The agreement issues? You have to work hard to mangle this many words in so few sentences.

If top editors publish work this poorly written, their writers will turn in shoddy work as well. The Ledger has a piss-poor standard for both writing and reporting, and the readers know it. Here's the evidence: sentences that violate basic writing rules taught in middle school. Mississippians are smarter than this and deserve better journalism and writing. It's simply an insult to see the unedited writing published in that "newspaper." It's not a matter of a mistake here and there; it is mangled writing that makes little sense and, thereby, indicates that the editors, and the company as a whole, have contempt for the intelligence of Mississippians.

Previous Comments

ID

133508

Comment

Of course, even worse, is what this column does not say. Unlike many Melton supporters, the Ledger has not taken responsibility for helping Melton become mayor and for not sharing information they had about him to the public. Agnew acts now as if they could not have known how unsuited it is for the mayor's job, and that is just B.S. The evidence was in their own archives, and in their own files of facts they did not share with the public. Like, for instance, that Melton was lying under oath to a judge in Meridian about the (false) MBN memo he linked to the Ledger. They knew it, but did not even talk about the lawsuit during his campaign—and even gave him a glowing endorsement. Agnew was the top editor then, too. He should have spine enough now to apologize to the public for being a lapdog for Melton, instead of just putting more hollow excuses out there. The Ledger has made its own bed in this community with its bad journalism, and everyone knows it.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-08-24T11:09:13-06:00

ID

133512

Comment

Donna, I am sure you will agree with me when I say this. In my journalism classes we are also taught that you should never go over 32 words or you will lose you reader. I know it's not an exact science, but for front page pieces in a daily newspaper it is about right. Generally though, I would say after about 20 in a sentence I lose interest. I am sure others would agree.

Author

Sophie

Date

2008-08-24T19:59:50-06:00

ID

133544

Comment

I corrected a Clarion-Ledger reporter one time, and her email response to me was very rude even though she clearly had a subject-verb disagreement in her story. Whew....

Author

lanier77

Date

2008-08-25T09:55:07-06:00

ID

133546

Comment

I think it's a good general rule, Sophie, although I've never counted words in a sentence! I also hate it when the Ledger, or whomever, trots out a series of short sentences, or a column filled with one-sentence paragraphs. The best writing is a mixture of longer and shorter sentences, but the longer sentences shouldn't just be a bunch of backward clauses strung together (especially without subject-verb agreement, clause-clause agreement). For instance, how hard would it be to rewrite Agnew's first two grafs into something straightforward: "Few speakers can match Frank Melton when he is not confined to a podium. His State of the City address last week recalled his past eloquent speeches at Boys and Girls Club banquets throughout Mississippi and his biting television commentaries that tore into the hide of many politicians." Done. Or, divide the second sentence up even more, but don't take two paragraphs to repeat the same thought and to back into your sentences. Make them active, and say what you're going to say. Then get on with making a point, saying something clear and concise and interesting, or tell a story, rather than filling the column with useless words like you're writing a book report without reading the book.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-08-25T10:06:43-06:00

ID

133551

Comment

Sunday must've been a slow news day...

Author

eyerah

Date

2008-08-25T10:47:28-06:00

ID

133553

Comment

I wouldn't say "slow," eyerah; it was certainly a column about a relevant topic. No problem there; my issue is with a leader of a daily newspaper with that level of resources putting out work of such poor quality. You can't put too fine a point on how important it is for local media to be high quality; the piss-poor quality of The Clarion-Ledger is one of the major problems in this city. They should lead in raising the standard, not contribute to keeping our standards so low. The Clarion-Ledger also sends a message to the rest of the world about our literacy levels; if the writing is so bad in the daily newspaper, how bad must it be among non-"professionals"? (Of course, that's a false message, as we have immense writing talent and intellectual thought in the state; it's just not represented in the traditional media. That needs to change.)

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-08-25T11:08:39-06:00

ID

133560

Comment

I totally agree with you about the melange of long and short sentences. Maybe the answer to the problem is to teach the upcoming reporters/writers the art of such sentences and grammar. Sometimes I feel teachers don't focus on that enough, mostly because they are weak in that area themselves. I am thinking we should have invited him to our intern class ;-)

Author

Sophie

Date

2008-08-25T11:29:53-06:00

ID

133563

Comment

You're probably right, Sophie. It can be difficult, though, to teach the art of beautiful sentences. (Or at least not-ugly ones.) I've found that the best way to do that is to teach the art of rewriting and self-editing. What is it Orwell said about ugly sentences? Just don't, or something like that. Sentences tend to be ugly because they are passive, twisted out of order, make little sense due to agreement issues, filled with meangingless and vague words ("there is") or breathlessly repetitious. Sadly, most stories and columns in The Clarion-Ledger commit all those sins. It's the editors' job to make sure the work gets edited and the writers get trained out of bad habits. But when the editors write this way, and then publish it, it's hard to imagine it getting better down the chain. You get the feeling they want people to write in the passive voice! Which, frankly, leaves me flabbergasted. As you know from our classes, everyone writes "shitty first drafts" (as Annie Lamott calls them). But we should not publish them.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-08-25T11:36:26-06:00

ID

133568

Comment

It can be difficult, though, to teach the art of beautiful sentences. Amen! I know most people at the CL don't think about it, but its really ALL ABOUT CADENCE. That rhythm can be taught but I think its something every writer works out for themselves over time-if they actually spend time attempting to hone their skills. I mentally rewrote Ronnie's sentences as I read them and came up with at least three different alternatives that did not sound like he was writing really bad poetry for Yoda. "Like it, I did not."

Author

Lori G

Date

2008-08-25T12:15:06-06:00

ID

133575

Comment

Excellent Yoda analogy, Lori. You're right about cadence and rhythm. Certainly not all my sentences are beautiful, but I work pretty hard to make them not-ugly. One thing I always do is read my pieces out loud to look for the clunky parts and any Yoda-isms. I also read as I write so I can hear the rhythm in my head. I assume everyone does that. So much of it is about simple sentences filled with good content. You can always tell when someone is trying to fake it and pull out sentences with meaningless phrases and words. It's one thing for a newspaper to have dull, mediocre writing, but I honestly don't understand how the writing is so bad at the Ledger on a regular basis. Sometimes I wonder if the editors take decent writing and turn it into these train wrecks. I can't imagine why they would, but I've had students walk in here from j-schools who were taught to write in the passive voice, so maybe it's just poor training that keeps being passed down. But even if so, can't they read!?! If so, they can tell these sentences do not work. I'm not trying to be mean, but I do believe the Ledger must be challenged to raise the standards. It's not just the old daily-newspaper 8th-grade level problem; 8th-graders should be expected to write straightforward sentences that make sense and be taught something about subject-verb, clause-clause agreement.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-08-25T12:50:37-06:00

ID

133577

Comment

I just did a quick Google on "passive writing" and newspapers. This turned up on the Poynter site: At the same time, don't forget that the traditional rules of writing apply online. Unfortunately, writing quality is inconsistent throughout most online news sites. Stories suffer from passive verbs, run-on sentences, mixed metaphors and cliches. This is a result of fast-paced new gathering, short staffing and inexperienced journalists. This is also a big mistake. Readers notice sloppy writing and they don't forgive. They'll stop reading a story and they won't come back for more. Unlike local newspaper readers, online readers have options. It's ironic that he is talking about the problems with online writing, and drawing on basic rules about newspaper writing in print. The Clarion-Ledger doesn't follow these rules in print. Didn't they get the memo? Why do Mississippians (and national media companies with outlets here) have to act like high standards don't or shouldn't apply to us? Do they think Mississippians are too stupid to notice truly bad writing and reporting? And why does corporate allow Agnew et al to get away with such poor quality? Do they really not care? Makes me crazy.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-08-25T12:58:22-06:00

ID

133641

Comment

'When he walks around an auditorium (movement), noteless and untethered (yes, we get the idea), there are few people better on their feet (an allegorical opinion) than Jackson Mayor Frank Melton. When he's not constricted (again with the movement) by the confines of a podium, able to wander about (once again), that's when he's at his best (another opinion regarding this meaningless allegory). Much of what I've seen of Melton's final State of the City address showed the eloquent speaker (opinion) that the mayor has always been (especially when he got caught saying he doesn't care what the electorate thinks, in a salty tongue). It provided a flashback to his motivational (Does motivation include protecting/aiding suspects?) speaking days at Boys and Girls Club banquets all over Mississippi and his biting television commentaries (which, by Melton's actions, appear to have been shallow generalizations and hollow platitudes) that tore into the hide of many a politician (takes one to know one).' He repeats himself frequently. If the writer were penning a novel, poetry, comic books, etc, this approach might be acceptable under certain conditions. A newspaper, on the other hand, should be held to a higher standard. In this circumstance the author does the reader a disservice by employing opinionated phrases and words with extensional meanings. I learned nothing by reading these two paragraphs. Surely it must have been a terrible day for news. There couldn't possibly be anything worth writing about in this day and age. ;-)

Author

Michael Harvill

Date

2008-08-26T19:15:38-06:00

ID

133645

Comment

These days Agnew only writes something if he's opining on the falling star that was Frank Melton.

Author

kudzuking

Date

2008-08-27T07:25:45-06:00

ID

133668

Comment

Let's not forget the plagiarism issue with (of all people) Courtney Taylor two years ago this month. Forgive me for rubbing salt into that specific cut, but cribbing an article from a recent edition of "Southern Living" (of all places) and having it published in "The Clarion Ledger" weeks later still boggles my mind.

Author

JLY

Date

2008-08-27T21:02:56-06:00

ID

133671

Comment

This talk of rhythm and cadence reminds me of Shakespeare and iambic pentameter. And Mr. Melton could almost be one of Shakespeare's well-meaning, but deeply flawed tragic heroes. Ah, the things we could learn if only we tried!

Author

thespis

Date

2008-08-27T23:01:05-06:00

ID

133718

Comment

I didn't even know about the Courtney Taylor incident until now. Had no idea why she left. They did a good job of covering it up.

Author

kudzuking

Date

2008-08-29T08:29:34-06:00