Ellington

Spoiler alert: I may spoil movie surprises below: Beware and skim, dear reader, skim.

Yea! Another hot summer, perfect for sitting in a dimmed, AC-ed theatre taking in action movie after delicious action movie. Last summer it was all fast cars and long black trench coats, but this year it's less action and more dweeby dads, Michael Moore and, well, Will Smith in a long black leather coat. While last year brought us the brainless "Fast and the Furious 2," "Matrix Re-somethinged" and that movie with all the Mini Coopers (a veritable delight for a car columnist), I really had to pick and prod for some films that featured cars, or at least car issues this time. What I found is a pattern of almost progressive lefty issues in the blinking box office!

To my mind, Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" was all about cars, though it only featured a couple clips with autos—Moore driving an ice cream truck and footage of George W. driving in sepia-colored Texas light. Moore blames Bush Family Inc. for making the world unsafe because of pure greed—oil money greed. And well should the Bush family own up to their secret dealings with the Saudis, going to war for oil and corrupt corporate connections that now run this country.

But when I looked at the map of the Middle East that Moore showed in the film, the wiggly line showing the giant oil pipeline through Afghanistan that makes Shell and BP executives drool, I felt sick, culpable in the whole mess. When we fly, we're giving the seal of approval for these wars, when we drive using petroleum-based fuels that cost pennies compared to its real cost (production, health factors, exploration and military to upkeep the supply), we have to own up to allowing this oil greed to exist and spread. I walked out of the theater, ready to do something to alter my behavior.

The second movie with a car message was "The Day After Tomorrow." The premise is simple: Because of global warming, an ice age has been catalyzed, and with it comes hurricanes that rip up apart Los Angeles, giant hail storms and the flooding of Manhattan. The special effects do rock, and the main premise—that scientists have been warning the president to deaf ears about global warming (sound familiar?) with cataclysmic results—is juicy. I must confess to an abnormal love of disaster films, and so I cheered loudly when the weather went all to hell on planet Earth. The political point is that we must recognize problems and try to solve them. The main character, played by Dennis Quaid, is a climate scientist who drives a Prius. Throughout the movie we are given small hints like these for ways to use less fuel—like walk in downtown Manhattan during a torrential rain storm. The movie ends on a glossy note (somehow the Earth heals itself) but the message is obvious: It's up to us.

"I, Robot" is a gorgeous action sci-fi movie about the evils of technology. But instead of beating that over our head, it focuses more on characters, and unfolds a bit like a whodunit. But the other star of the movie is product placement, specifically Converse sneakers and, overwhelmingly, Audi. You see, 30 years in the future Chicago highways run underground, and most people let a computer guide them—cars move so fast humans can't react quickly enough. Of course, Will Smith as detective Del Spooner kicks his Audi into manual drive with regularity because, yes, technology is evil. We see that perhaps cars will be whisked away and parked by hanging them by their bumpers. There are really great car chases in this movie, and there's the scene with Will Smith naked in the shower—oh my glorious world!

There are also two upcoming awesome-looking cab-themed movies. One stars Tom Cruise as an ####### killer and Jamie Foxx as a reluctant cabbie in a thriller called "Collateral." It's directed by Michael "Miami Vice" Mann. Another is "Taxi," starring Queen Latifah and Saturday Night Live's Jimmy Fallon, that looks positively hilarious. It features an over-the-top loaded Ford Taxi with Queen L as the driver, and I-Love-His-Eyes Fallon as a junior detective.

E-mail: [e-mail missing]