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[Stiggers] The Hippest Anchorwoman in the World

The following is an abbreviated transcript of the E! Network's urban news and entertainment show "Boneqweesha Live."

EDITORIAL: ‘Borrow and Spend' Misguided

Those two approaches would be:

There are two major common-sense approaches that could be taken in the short-term to help the United States come out of its current recession, while paying for a looming Iraqi invasion and the homeland security challenges that may result from what many are calling an "optional" war.

[Williams] Republican Ophelias

Thank you, Swift Boat Veterans, for chucking the blocks out of memory. It all comes back to me now: Vietnam, anti-war protests, Civil Rights struggles. But not at all in the way John O'Neill is re-telling it.

[Spann] Tonight, Baby?

The nubile young bodies writhing on our television screens and the sultry voices emanating from our radio speakers would lead most of us to believe that Americans are having great sex … and a lot of it. But is that really the case, particularly among married couples?

WELLNESS: Bad To The Last Drip

Your throat feelslike a cross between sandpaper and raw meat. Your nose must be training for a marathon. A percussion section has taken over the inside of your head. Your cheeks are on fire. Yes, it's cold and flu season, which officially plagues us from November to March. Contrary to what your mother might say, cold weather doesn't cause our sniffles, but it does chase us indoors, giving us more opportunities to catch them from other people.

[Stiggers] It Is Winter in America, Baby

Your presidential candidate for 2004, Mo'tel Williams: "Ladies and gentlemen! I know it's late. But since Jessie and Al are past tense, I think I have a chance. I'm not here to lie to yawl, even though everybody else has. Case in point: African-Americans were promised 40 acres and a mule, received nothing and were fooled.

[Gonsalves] The No-Stupid-Question-Rule

So how come conservative Christians aren't insisting that Jefferson is burning in Hades, quoting verses from Paul's letters about what hellish future awaits those who mess with the Word?

[Stiggers] Col. Reb's Last Stand

Concert and event promoters: Have I got an idea for you! Man, this could be the biggest gala event in the "state of minds" of Mississippians! I'm thinking of a retirement celebration for Col. Reb. Let's call it the "Stone Soul" picnic, disco, gun show and hiphop concert featuring guest M.C. George Bushy, D.J. Dick "Off the" Cheney and Secretary of "D-Fence" Rumsfeld's Weapons of Mass Destruction Search Posse performing the chart-climbing single "Back Dem Tanks Up"; the new millennium world beat hit (oops, I did say hit?) "Preemption Song"; and the billboard No. 1 single "Air Strike: Drop It Like It's Hott!"

[Stiggers] Darned Good Rhyme

In an effort to reach a younger audience, DGI (Darn Good Intelligence) and Bring Em On Records present M.C. George Bushy's new hiphop single "Back Dem Tanks Up: Speech Aftermath, pt 2 (The Remix)" from the CD "Those who Know Don't Tell, and Those who Tell Don't Know"—featuring George "Blame it on the Rain" Tenet, Condoleeza "Kizzy Speaks" Rice, Colin "Where's Waldo" Powell and the White "In the Howse" Staff. Here are a few lines from the single. ...

[Spann] Without Dodging a Single Bullet

I watched the previews on television all week with apprehension. I thought, "Please don't let it be Mississippi." I've never been ashamed of Mississippi, though I've often renounced the racists and other trite characters that call our state home. But fears about my state being misrepresented ran rampant when I saw scenes from an upcoming episode of the NBC drama "Crossing Jordan." The show's characters were to visit a southern state to render Bostonian justice for an old hate crime.

[Parks] I'm a Decent Human Being, Too

When I first got to my precinct in Louisiana to vote, the people behind me greeted me cheerfully. They wanted to know where I go to school, what I want to be, what I thought of the rain outside. After we all realized the line we were standing in was where we'd be for almost an hour, they started comparing the wait to the lines for the Louisiana Marriage Amendment a few weeks ago, which were much shorter. That amendment passed by 78 percent of the vote, but was declared unconstitutional by a state judge on Oct. 5.

[Ladd] A Fool by Any Other Party

Man, I can't stand Bill Clinton. It drives me crazy to see him all over the place, hawking his new book and his excuses for his bad behavior in the Oval Office. His reasons for lying to the American people. His rationale for using his power to screw around with the lives of a parade of vulnerable women, some barely old enough to drink.

[Eastburn] Love Your Soldier

It is Monday night, and I am driving my oldest son, 19, to a hotel where he will wait to be picked up by a bus. We've stopped at K-Mart for toothpaste and shampoo and a prepaid telephone card and other last-minute incidentals. I grab a pad of unlined paper and a box of envelopes, hoping they will remind him to write. We drag out his departure as long as we can. When the bus picks him up at the hotel, it will deliver him to the United States Army. A reservist, my son will spend the next 10 weeks getting fit, training to be a soldier, should he be called to active duty. The odds are great that he will. We are, after all, at war.

[Stiggers] Come Chill at Clubb Chicken Wing

Has the election got you down? Join the "Financially Challenged" at the hippest and least expensive place in town, Clubb Chicken Wing. As food, gas and energy prices increase, the only thing you can afford at a club these days is a chicken-wing snack!

WIGGS: Give T-Shirts a Chance!

Does freedom of expression still exist in the U.S.? Mark Wiggs explores.

The Best of Times

<b>Editor's Note by Donna Ladd</b>

The other night I was sitting in my office about 10 p.m. It had been another one of those 12-hour days that we've put in several times a week since launching this magazine last Sept. 22. It was a quiet, peaceful work night that can only happen after the crazy light of day passes and the damned phone stops ringing.

When A Plan Comes Together

"I love it when a plan comes together" was the signature line of George Peppard in his role as Hannibal Smith on the 1980s TV show "The A Team." It's unfortunate that I can't get it out of my head, but it's apropos in more ways than one. I recently saw George Peppard again in "Breakfast at Tiffany's," as I seem to be on an inadvertent VHS tour of Audrey Hepburn's career. Because many of my neural pathways were developed in the 1980s, it's difficult for me to see Peppard in any setting and not think of Hannibal Smith. It's my own personal hell.

[Chick] ‘It Ain't Me'

Praise the Lord, Jill is No. 1! Again, The New York Times confirms what we all know anyway: Southerners are the best darn writers on the planet. Now, Jill Conner Browne will try to tell you that the Sweet Potato Queens canon is not literature, but any intelligent, fun-loving woman in the South, or the world for that matter, begs to differ. If "Make me laugh and buy me sparkly things, and I am yours" isn't a timeless and cultural universal, I don't know what is. Hence, literature. I know I'm right about this.

[Stiggers] Escape from Jacktown!

Funkee Fanger Filmworks/Productions, Inc., Esq.,Co.,LLC,OPP,Yeah U Know Me (producers of the upcoming HBO Pay-Per-View event titled "Rumble In The Political Arena"—featuring City of Jackson officials and journalists) lyrically proposes this rough treatment/music video idea titled "Escape from Jacktown: Urban Flight."

[Stiggers] Fresh Breath is Coming to Town

Season's greetings, folkses! This is your favorite non-black, Mo'tel Williams, along with the Sausage Sandwich Sisters, also known as the Electric Slide Ambassadors for World Peace and Rent Money. We know that 2003 has been a year of putrid mouths spewing out foul phrases. Now the air is polluted with negative thoughts as misinformed masses bask in lethargy and apathy because the world is at war, the economy is in decay, nations are in conflict, religion is steeped in controversy, the issue of race remains unsolved and Girls Gone Wild Doggy Style. And if you hear anyone say, "life stinks," it's because the world has a bad case of halitosis.