Ellington

I am a married woman. I am just entering into my 40s. I have a 20-year-old stepdaughter, an 18-year-old son, a stepson in high school, and a 3-year-old toddler (almost 4). I think my husband is the sexiest man on earth, and I know that my sex appeal isn't lost on him.

Having said that, I dare anyone to tell me that it is without taste to openly flirt with, grind on, kiss or even talk about sex publicly with him. I absolutely would lose it if anyone ever came at me with that outrageous notion.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've heard about the opening performance at the Grammy Awards this year. Husband-and-wife team Jay-Z and Beyonce took the stage in a steamy, hot-as-hell live performance of the former's latest hit (and when I say hit, I mean hit—the Internet is sick over the song), "Drunk In Love."

First, let me just take a minute and explain to those who may not be fans of the artists exactly what this song is about. Hold on tight to your chairs. It is about consensual, hot, drunken sex between a man and a woman who are married. Look, now, I hid all the sexy stuff I did when I wasn't married, and I will be damned if I take it upon myself to hide it now just because some folk get a little uneasy about it. I believe Jay-Z and Beyonce would testify to feeling the same way.

It was a family show, you say. Really? OK. Well, when you saw Beyonce twirling sexily in the chair, you should have changed the channel.

Some protest that she's a mom, and that song is not in good taste. Oh yeah? If you happen to have lost all your desire to be sexy because you have children, then that, I'm sorry to say, is your problem. I don't have that issue, and neither does the hottest female performer in this country.

He told her to "eat the cake, Anna Mae," and that was taken from a movie where Ike was domestically abusing his wife, Tina. Yep. It was. However, the content of the entire song was about the pure chemistry that happens between a man and woman after a night of being at the club and coming home to each other and having a good bit of steamy sex. That may not be your forte. Again, I apologize that you consider this unsettling. I hope that changes because it can really liven up a sexual experience. He did not mean, eat the cake, or I'm going to beat your ass. If that's what you took from it, so be it. But you're wrong.

Being a mother and wife does not equal boring. Who told you that? Why does society have to have so much influence on what happens in a person's personal life? I truly take issue with the fact that every time a person does something that is all them and not influenced by what someone else thinks or writes, here comes the Bible-thumping old-schoolers to tell us why it's so wrong. Here's a clue: If you don't like it, don't watch it. Don't want to hear it, turn it off. Don't want your children influenced, don't expose them to it.

(Side note: It's no more raunchy than the stuff many of you let your kids watch on television and videos. In fact, one might argue that at least these two are married. Your children are going around reciting lyrics from Nikki Minaj and Drake without pause. Do you have any idea what they are saying? No? You should.)

This idea that exciting sex can only happen to single people is twisted in itself. It's crazy to say the least. If anything, use this song as a resource to say to your children (of adequate age) that once you are married, that's when the good stuff begins. Until that point, you shouldn't do it. That might keep people from thinking they must be near their deathbed before they even get married. It might contribute to more marriages and fewer divorces, too.

Look, I'm not saying everybody has to be drunk in love. I'm simply saying keep your judgment to yourself. Stop thinking that everything has to be so Scarlet Letter-ish. Goodness! Not everything that breaks the box is wrong. Sometimes it's needed.

So, I say hooray that Bey-Z decided to take a stand at the Grammys for real, good love and real, good sex between a married couple. I'm happy they are unapologetic about it.

I sure would be.

Funmi "Queen" Franklin is a word lover, poet and advocate for sisterhood. She has a weakness for reality shows and her puppy, Shaka.