Ellington

BoneQweesha Jones: "You are watching the Ghetto Science Team Public Television spring fund-raising marathon. The federal government's budget cuts are kicking our butts at G.S.T. Public Television. Today, a small, overworked, and underpaid staff must get on its knees and beg 'pleeeease, baby please.' This fundraising marathon makes me think of lyrics by Gwen Guthrie: 'Boy, nothing in life is free. That's why I'm asking you what can you do for me. I've got responsibilities. So I'm looking for a man who's got some money in his hands.'

"Right now, G.S.T. Public Television needs the public's assistance because the bill collector is at our door. We have three volunteers at the phones waiting for you to call 1-800- 2HELP-US and contribute to the primary source of educational programming for low-income children and adults.

"Ghetto Science Team Public Television received a nice financial contribution from Congressman Smokey 'Robinson' McBride's Ghetto Science Community Stimulus Fund. He informed us that his stimulus fund is running low, and he must cut back.

"For your financial contribution to Ghetto Science Team Public Television, we will give you Inspector 'Beatdown' Lipscomb's health, wealth and safety DVD titled 'The Poor People's Self-Defense Guide in America.' In this information-packed DVD, Inspector 'Beatdown' Lipscomb will show you how to survive a 'stand your ground' encounter inside a gated community.

"Call 1-800- 2HELP-US, and help G.S.T. Public Television continue broadcasting substantial information, entertainment and education, without the gossip, chatter and nonsense at your mind's expense. Thank you!"