Ellington

"Riddick," the third feature film collaboration between writer-director David Twohy and Vin Diesel, grips us in the masochistic cuffs of eternal damnation with the fire and brimstone spirit of Dante's "Inferno." Like a testosterone-spiked Virgil, Riddick (Vin Diesel) guides us through the various circles of movie hell with grunts, groans and witty one-liners. Abandon hope all ye who enter Riddick's world.

The movie burns in sickly, yellowed tones of hostile alien life forms on a sun-scorched planet. Dying vegetation scatters a barren landscape of cliffs, rocks and sand. Bubbling pools of vile liquids emit thick vapors. Carnal malefactors, such as dingo-dog-hyenas and slippery serpentine scorpions hunt, chase and maul Riddick, the only human-esque form on the entire planet.

In a muddle of flashbacks, Twohy fortifies Riddick with a hero's back story. Before becoming stranded on this cursed planet, Riddick reigned as the Lord Marshall of the Necromongers. He ruled from a thorny throne, but secretly longed for home. Riddick strikes a deal with Commander Vaako (Karl Urban). If Vaako takes Riddick to Furya (that's Riddick's home), Riddick will relinquish his grand pooh bah position to Vaako. Softened by power and position, Riddick fails to acknowledge the ruthlessness of his opponent. Vaako's escort team leaves Riddick for dead on a forlorn planet.

Riddick measures his days in degrees of bad. His eyes glow like laser beams at night and, without his tinted shades, he sees the planet in shades of purple.

Like Prometheus bound to a rock, Riddick withstands physical punishment. He defends himself with his wits, brawn and an all-purpose knife set. He rescues a dingo-dog-hyena pup that provides a playful nip from all the dreary darkness of endless torture.

Sensing things are going to get even worse, Riddick activates the emergency beacon at the intergalactic way station. Bounty hunters, led by the loud-mouth Santana (Jordi Molla), arrive first. Santana and his men want Riddick's head, because Riddick is worth more dead than alive.

Boss Johns (Matt Nable) and his team of trained mercenaries also respond to the beacon, but for different reasons. Johns wants information about his son.

The bounty hunters and mercenaries don't get along. Dahl (Katee Sackoff), Johns' second in command, delivers a walloping knockout punch to the mouthy Santana.

This movie mythologizes Riddick. He's an elusive, mysterious legend, but he hasn't done anything particularly heroic. He kills people—lots of them. He's a murderer and, if anything, an anti-hero. No actor but Vin Diesel could pull off this role. He brings in his trademark good humor, and his fans will enjoy the movie. Others will find it ponderous and joyless.

"Riddick" is a phony genre picture. Genre pictures are meant to be entertaining, but this one wants to be much more. I'm not exactly sure what Twohy wants it to be, but I found it to be masochistic fantasizing. It fuses "Pitch Black," the first film in the franchise, with "Aliens." The effects are good, and you can count on a video game. I felt that I sat through one long agonizing game where plot inconsistencies are part of the landscape.

At one point in the film, a young priest babbles out prayers while creatures attack. "God had no place here," Riddick says.

This is hell, baby. Not everyone may be up for the rough and tumble journey with laser eyes.