Ellington

Frequent readers of my column know I often write about my mother. She was a great woman—indeed, one of the finest to walk the Earth. Her passing has left a void not just in my heart but in this city as well. We are all better for her having been here. But she wasn't on the job alone; I was blessed with a two-parent household. My father led not by words but by example. My mother was definitely the dominant personality, and those of you who knew her know exactly what I'm talking about.

My earliest memories of my father are of him working. I remember him leaving early, returning late in the evening then doing odd tasks around the house until he settled in to bed. It was that drive that moved us from the shadows of our Christian Brotherhood neighborhood to the then-majority white Northgate.

My dad is typically not short on conversation. I always joke that he and my mother were soul mates because neither passed on a chance to ramble on—and on. But when it came to matters of family, dad never really spoke about his jobs, responsibilities or any of the problems that he and mom went through to keep a roof over the heads of three kids.

As I got older, I started to notice the struggles. I sat back in silence, as I watched the sacrifices being made to keep cars working, send kids off to college, pay the mortgage and even fix an air conditioning unit. But not once during my childhood did I hear my father complain. And not once do I recall us really wanting for anything. We always had new school clothes, always celebrated birthdays and Christmas, even when, looking back, I knew things were tight. I can't honestly say I know how he did it, but he did.

When I think of what a father should be, the best example I had was in my own home. I didn't look to an athlete, actor or entertainer. My dad was my scoutmaster, baseball coach, my ride to school and the parent who came to all the awards days. He was Superman married to Superwoman, and we all lived in a little Hall of Justice like the Superfriends. He instilled in me a work ethic and pride. This is a man who served in the Army and reserves and worked tirelessly for the Mississippi Department of Transportation for 40 years, only missing work if he was physically unable to perform. When he retired, he had amassed a year's worth of sick leave. Can you fathom being able to call in for a year and still get paid? I can't!

If my mother was the spark plug then my father was the piston. He isn't the flashiest part in the machine, but it won't run effectively without him.

Now that I have a wife and four kids of my own, I understand what he was going through raising us. You get up, show up, work hard, and you don't stop working until the task is done. Then you sleep, and you get up and go work some more. You stand on your own two feet, always keep your word, and if you screw up, own up to it and move on.

So this is dedicated to the fathers out there. Especially mine. We know moms overshadow you at times. You get crappy Father's Day gifts. You have to man the grill at cookouts and miss all the good food. You're asked to fix everything, even when you have no idea what you're doing. They couldn't live without us.

This is my salute to Sam Franklin. I know you're still mad at me for ditching that Associated Press job to do hip hop, but thanks to you, I think I turned out just fine. If I work half as hard as you did, me and mine will be OK.

And that's the truth ... sho-nuff.

Previous Comments

ID

158203

Comment

"Funmi, I know Brad will be a good husband, because I've been a good husband". Barely a day goes by that those words don't sing out to me. It's what my father-in-law said to me on our wedding day. It means so much to me to be accepted into the Franklin Fold and to have the family embrace my son as if he was their blood. Sam Franklin is a very special man. He is every bit of what Kaz has written here. I often wonder myself how he's able to be so strong, but I guess that's not really all that important. So, hubs, I join you in saluting your father for he is well worth it! We love you Sammie! (I need a bucket for these tears)

Author

Queen601

Date

2010-06-15T07:57:04-06:00

ID

158204

Comment

He IS indeed one of a kind My Queen!

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2010-06-15T08:50:34-06:00