Ellington

I know that I won't be the first and certainly not the last when I say that my senior year is passing me by. So far, this has been the fastest school year of my existence, but it's not as good as I'd hoped. For one, I feel like I have to rush to get anything done. I have to rush to read for my philosophy homework, to pay for my cap-and-gown stuff, and to type this blog. Now that I look at my calendar, I have to rush to do anything possible to get into a college.

It didn't dawn on me at first that I need to study for the ACT. With all the essays and other significant projects I have to accomplish, I knew it would be a squeeze. That's why I chose not to take the ACT in September. Good choice, too! I have friends who literally forgot about the test and felt relieved after taking it. I want to score higher and give myself enough time to study. Unfortunately, I don't have any. If I register for the sitting in October, then I won't be learned enough, and December is too much to rely on because of the Semester Exams, my Extended Essay, and all the college applications I need to have filled out by that time. I've even renewed my college list, which means that I've completely started over!

Speaking of college applications, I had a marvelous plan to complete the most time-consuming portion before getting the applications: the essay. That dream was a bust when I realized that at the summer camps I went to, they made it their duties to occupy every minute of us camper's time with the most trivial activities. If that wasn't uninspiring, then it's worse when these camps are on college campuses! On both trips, I packed my notebook full of college-worthy essay topics that I'd acquired from past topics found on the Internet. The notebook looks no different than before camp. Its green cover is still strewn amongst all the other nick-knacks that possess my dresser.

More depressing than that is that I have also realized that important scholarship deadlines are approaching. Yes, I get those tiresome emails from FastWeb.com and Scholarships.com, but I haven't done much of anything. It's not that I haven't applied for any at all, it's just that I haven't gotten any winnings yet. I just lost the opportunity of a lifetime with the $10,000 "Atlas Shrugged" essay contest. 1,000 or so pages really intimidated me, especially with only a week to read it AND answer one of the writing prompts. It's due September 17, 2009. Then it's the problem with income-restricted scholarships. It is believed by many of these scholarships that college is affordable.

There was one by some organization where they would only pay full-everything if the winner were to select a college that they were partners with. On this list was Harvard, Stanford, Princeton, Parsons, and a few more. It's not like I wanted to attend these schools, but the money would've been nice. Maybe it's when my mom gets fired or loses her job that I'll finally get a scholarship. But then, I'll be the most broken person around.

Thankfully, this world is such that I'm not the only one who's going through this. I have a plan, I just need to stick by it. My failed Miss Jim Hill slogan was going to be, "Making this year one of Progress, not Digress," but maybe I need to apply this to my very own life.

C'est Tout!