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[Stiggers] Finance Pimpin'

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Ken Stiggers

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented by two members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley ‘Do-Right' McBride, and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

Dudley: "We have a disturbance call from some neighbors across the street from a foreclosed home on the corner of Ghetto Science Team Memorial Drive and Main Street."

Cootie: "I bet you it's the Finance Pimp; he wants his home back. One would think people would show sympathy, empathy and cooperation during harsh economic times."

Dudley: "That was then; this is now, Cootie. People today have turned into cold, insensitive and impatient individuals—like the Finance Pimp—who want immediate gratification.

Sista Encouragement (politely interrupts): "Allow me to contribute to your discussion, good brothas. Despite what's happening now, people like us must become forces of good for people dealing with issues of anger, selfishness and distress."

Dudley (surprised): "It's Sista Encouragement from the Rev. Cletus Car Sales radio show!"

Cootie: "I thought it would be a good time to have Sista Encouragement, our new associate in training, to assist us."

Dudley: "Folks, we've got work to do. I just heard that the Finance Pimp is receiving a serious retaliatory, tag-team rebuke and beat down from the Praise Patrol and the foreclosed homeowners."

Sista Encouragement (sighs): "This bitter earth; what fruit it bears … ."

(Doink! Doink!)

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