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You've Got to be Kidding

One of my former bosses often quipped that her "need to edit" was a force too strong to resist. Having worked as an editor myself, I have to admit that I can usually "fix" just about all but the most poetic and perfect prose. The Clarion-Ledger, on the other hand, seems to have given up editing altogether. Perhaps it went the way of the employee coffee.

Here are a few samples from their recent story headlined Dead zone now smaller after Gustav (To be honest, I thought they'd fix the story, but it's been five days.)

Hurricane Gustav decreased the size the dead zone, an area of oxygen-depleted water off the Louisiana coast that lacks marine life, a scientist said Friday.

When a large storm moves through a dead zone, it re-aerates the water, thus causing it to shrink. Some of the guages used to measure the dead zone are showing higher oxygen levels, said R. Eugene Turner, a Louisiana State University coastal ecology professor.

Turner said a cruise of scientists was scheduled for early next week, but Hurricane Ike caused it to be postponed.

Still with me? If the first sentence didn't make you cock your head and say "huh?" surely the last one did. And then there are these gems:

Hurricane Dolly decreased its size earlier this year, according to a report released by Louisiana Universities Marine Consortium in late July.

The dead zone forms as substances from farms, such as nitrogen and phosphorous, travel down the Mississippi River or one of its tributaries and into the Gulf.

These fertilizers, which help plants grow on land, cause algae to grow in the water. The algae deplete the oxygen, causing a dead zone at the bottom of the water.

And let's not forget my all time favorite:

Dead zones disperse what marine life can swim away and kill what can't.

If you're still reading, The C-L then ends the story with this:

After a cruise in late July, the dead zone, which was 8,000 square miles and the second largest in history,

Yes, friends, that's the end. Thanks edit boyz, for your contribution to the art of journalism and to our knowledge of biology.

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