Ellington

Amy Ephron is blogging on Huff Post about women who publicly stand by their cad husbands, as Eliot Spitzer's wife is doing, despite the humiliation:

I just want one of them, Hillary, Silda, to stand on the steps of the house, the White House, the Governor's Mansion and stamp their foot and say, "And another thing, I'm keeping the house."

Why do they show up? Why did Silda Spitzer appear at her husband's side at his press conference today? The picture in the New York Times' is so telling, so sad, so perfectly humiliating. And you just want to ask, why? Why do political wives -- especially when they seemingly have no political aspirations of their own, it's not like Mrs. Spitzer is going to run for office -- show up for their husbands when their husbands have behaved so badly?

Previous Comments

ID

117610

Comment

I have often wondered why women would stand by their men and let themselves be humiliated like that. If I had a husband who did that, I wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole. Well, unless I was beating him with it.

Author

ellen

Date

2008-03-11T13:16:33-06:00

ID

117611

Comment

No doubt! Especially in a case like this! On a side note: Notice Hillary is taking the "wait and see" approach. Of course, how could she comment without it looking bad on her. One of the commentators last night said that political wives are just doing what their handlers tell them not necessarily what their gut is telling them. That they are numb, and trying to grasp the situation while being shoved into the media spotlight while it is all unfolding. Now in Hillary's case, she had years, and affairs, of experience to deal with Bill's blue dress once it happened. It just revolting!

Author

pikersam

Date

2008-03-11T13:30:10-06:00

ID

117612

Comment

"And another thing, I'm keeping the house." --Correct me if I'm wrong...But I think Hillary DID say this. ;) It is the ultimate revenge.

Author

Lori G

Date

2008-03-11T13:33:44-06:00

ID

117613

Comment

funny how women say on this site all of the mistakes they have made with men...then turn around and criticize a woman for standing with her husband...has anyone thought that we may not know everything that is going on...or God forbid that they actually forgive them and want to stand by them and support them...maybe im a stupid man and my wife is a stupid woman...but it appears that at my worst my girl,now wife, has been at her best...how about we dont judge women who make decisions...how can one say that women do what theyre told in this situation without me thinking theyre calling women stupid...how come they just cant love their husbands and forgive him...what if she's cheated as well...we dont know much about the situation and were already condeming this man and his wife...what if she wants to watch him and a $5500 hooker ahem sex worker...what if he and this $5500 woman just talked...who knows we werent there...how bout we let them solve their own family issues like we do everyday...

Author

skipp

Date

2008-03-11T15:16:23-06:00

ID

117614

Comment

what if he and this $5500 woman just talked Got a great laugh out of that one! Money well spent! She was probably his sounding board on strategies to take down Wall Street.

Author

QB

Date

2008-03-11T16:20:24-06:00

ID

117615

Comment

Well, you know, boyz will be boyz. What's a little dalliance?!? I'm not sure we would just call this "cheating," skipp. And as a woman who has to live in a patriarchal society where men are patronized into thinking it's OK if they can't control their urges, even when the law and their roles as elected leaders are at stake, I feel perfectly within my rights to criticize women who keep enabling them by standing next to them pretending they did nothing wrong. It's not like he "cheated." He hid so much hooker-money that the IRS started investigating him. He should be kicked out of office, post-haste. If his wife can't trust him, the public sure can't. Quote me on that.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-03-11T16:26:16-06:00

ID

117616

Comment

what if he and this $5500 woman just talked You're kidding, right? Skipp, if your wife found out that you paid $5500 to have sex with a hooker and was completely forgiving, then that's good for you. She would certainly be more forgiving I would. Some people are fine with accepting a cheating partner back. I'm not one of those people. Especially if the person knew how embarrassing and humiliating it would be for me once the entire world found out.

Author

ellen

Date

2008-03-11T16:33:08-06:00

ID

117617

Comment

well all i can say that i dont know what he and this $5500 date did...and i really dont care... its like the female mayor who put up some pictures on myspace and people raised hell about it...i will not criticize any person who accepts a parter back regardless of the situation...i would hope my mother, cousin, daughter, sister or aunt would not allow someone to mistreat her...however, if she does far be it from me to get on the net and cast stones. i do not feel that it is my place to say who should and who shouldnt be forgiven...if you wouldnt accept him back then speak for you and dont make her appear to be stupid or less than human...people make choices good or bad...but i refuse to say what another person should do in that situation...again...ladd has spoken about being in terrible relationships far too long...what if she wanted to watch...who knows what goes on in other folks bedrooms...its none of my concern...if he got something on the side so be it...again...it may be immoral...put it this way...what if frank is faithful...does it really matter...what if he isnt...we should judge people based on their actions and the husband and wife relationship dont impact me one smidge...maybe we should be focusing on making our relationships healthier instead of commenting on the negatives of someone elses.

Author

skipp

Date

2008-03-11T16:57:50-06:00

ID

117618

Comment

Skipp, I have not once said this woman is stupid or less than human. However, if she "wanted to watch" like you keep saying then I will go ahead and say that she is stupid. Why would she allow him to pay $5500 and lie about it just so she could watch him with a hooker...all the while knowing what could eventually come of it?

Author

ellen

Date

2008-03-11T17:13:59-06:00

ID

117619

Comment

well all i can say that i dont know what he and this $5500 date did... skipp Well, we know it was deemed "unsafe" by the escort agency. Which probably means something "bareback." I'll let you guys google that one. This, and the amounts spent, are what makes this even more egregious. His wife should be freaking out at this point! As a FARK subby pointed out, I doubt he asked her to "Run an under capitalized hedge fund for me, baby, yeah" It's not news... it's fark!

Author

pikersam

Date

2008-03-11T18:56:18-06:00

ID

117620

Comment

Spitzer just announced his resignation. It will be effective on Monday, March 17.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2008-03-12T09:54:01-06:00

ID

117621

Comment

Link to Spitzer story

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2008-03-12T09:56:05-06:00

ID

117622

Comment

all im saying is if she wants to stand by him who are we to criticize her...what if she doesnt care...what if she has a pool boy...i mean its a lot of what ifs and assumptions...what we do know is that he did something wrong...but men and women in power have done wrong things for years...we didnt criticize coretta for standing by martin...i hope that my wife wont leave me when im at my worst...

Author

skipp

Date

2008-03-12T13:25:20-06:00

ID

117623

Comment

btw...sex for money is unsafe at best...

Author

skipp

Date

2008-03-12T13:25:53-06:00

ID

117624

Comment

Um, Dr. Laura says Spitzer's wife should share the blame for what happened. Huh?

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2008-03-12T14:41:27-06:00

ID

117625

Comment

Salon says this: And man, is it easy to judge. The wives, not the husbands. (Well, them too.) As the New York Times' Alessandra Stanley confirms today, the talk shows yesterday, to say nothing of the Interwebs, were aswirl with opinion, much of it as unforgiving, well, as we expect women like Silda Spitzer to be. What are these wives doing at those press conferences? What sort of public display of solidarity do they possibly owe these hosers? Can they really be such doormats? Why aren't they home waiting by the door with a frying pan, or changing the goddamn locks? You know, I think we need to back off. I think these women owe us no explanations, or "revealing body language," whatsoever; I think we owe them their privacy and complex, possibly convoluted or even disagreeable decision making.

Author

kate

Date

2008-03-12T14:47:00-06:00

ID

117626

Comment

amen

Author

skipp

Date

2008-03-12T14:58:36-06:00

ID

117627

Comment

Do people actually take advice from Dr. Laura? She is absolutely horrific!

Author

ellen

Date

2008-03-12T15:02:46-06:00

ID

117628

Comment

Ellen, I did and it worked for me.

Author

Jeff Lucas

Date

2008-03-13T08:11:26-06:00

ID

117629

Comment

That is great that she was able to help you, Jeff. To me, she seems intolerant and hypocritical, and I would find it hard to take advice from someone like that.

Author

ellen

Date

2008-03-13T11:02:21-06:00