Ellington

It's Chick Ball day! Get details here

Frank Melton called me a "big mouth" on Councilman Ben Allen's radio show Friday. Sitting in my bedroom listening as Todd showered, I couldn't help but laugh. Heartily. Loudly. You know, in that big-mouthed kind of way that scares people who fear strong women.

Truth is, I've worked my whole life to be loud, proud and independent—and to speak up for myself and those around me, especially the powerless. That's why I can speak up to a man like Melton—who threatens to "cream" women reporters and puts young criminal friends in front of cameras to talk up a female district attorney's dress tail if she dares challenge his "unconventional"— illegal?—means of getting his face on TV.

Of course, I grew up in a culture where being an outspoken woman wasn't particularly appreciated. And, frankly, I still live in that culture. We all do.

Just look around us. How many women do you know personally who are afraid to speak up for themselves? How many female Mississippians bury their real voices inside a teensy-weensy version that doesn't know how to tell a man, "That's enough" (whether domestically or politically)? How many women run from speaking up for themselves until they are given no choice, and then end up covered with bruises, either physically or mentally?

Not to mention the mess too many men make on our behalf in public office—taking our rights away to get cheap votes.

Ladies, each of us must find our voice. We must join our voices together to speak out against bad policies and disgusting behaviors toward women. Or anyone.

We must use those big mouths—perhaps ringed in bright-red lipstick—to demand that violence against women in Mississippi be addressed head on. We must speak up and educate the people around us that women are not chattel, and we are not baby machines, and we are not on this planet to be punching bags for men who can't get their own heads straightened out. We must talk back—whether to yucks like Don Imus who reduced a champion team of athletes to "nappy-headed hos" to amuse other yucks, or to rappers who buy their gold rims by swiping credit cards through the buttocks of black women on music videos.

Women are the majority of the population, and we control the majority of the purse strings. That means that we can be heard by simply choosing how we spend money. We ought not spend a penny on entertainment that reduces women to raw meat. It's time to walk the talk with our Gucci bags, girlfriends.

But it's not all about boycotting the bad stuff; it's about using our big mouths to do good. You're going to see an extraordinary example of such positive girl-work this week at the 3rd Annual JFP Chick Ball. Three years ago, I came up with the idea to do an event to focus on female artistry—being that most of our local acts are male—and to raise awareness about the desperate problem of domestic violence in our state. As I'm not a fan of hoity-toity benefits that only dowdy rich folks can afford to attend, I wanted to do a young, hip event with people of all generations. (Almost, it is an over-18 event.) I wanted the cover charge to be cheap ($5), but give folks lots of ways to spend money for the cause (a silent auction, another $5 for door prizes). And I wanted it to be an event that celebrates chickdom, but with men who love women (and I mean in the respectful, we're-queens-kind-of-way) helping and partying along with us.

My busy staff hastily threw together the first two Chick Balls over a couple of weeks and still managed to raise about $5,000 to benefit the Center for Violence Prevention the first two times out. We were thrilled.

But this year magic happened. A couple of really cool Jackson chicks and musicians—Laurel Isbister and Tara Baker Blumenthal—started bugging me months ago about this year's Chick Ball. Could they get started on the planning? Well, yeah.

So two months ago, a committee of the chickiest, most wonderful women started meeting for lunch on Thursdays at High Noon—Emily Braden, Natalie Collier, Erica Crabtree, Infinite, Meeya Thomas, Deja Gray and Andi Agnew—to plan this year's Ball. As word got out, the committee kept growing. Volunteers started calling (sending the message that so many of us have been touched, or bruised, by domestic abuse). The door prizes started rolling in.

And these weren't the usual suspects who have long donated to JFP events. People were calling from all over the metro and beyond. Businesses in Canton called up to donate. The Delta Sigma Theta Jackson Alumnae Chapter wrote a check for $1,000. The Greater Jackson Arts Council offered to do invitations. The chick snowball just kept growing.

As I type this on Tuesday, we are amid a Chick Ball frenzy. The phone is ringing off the hook, and Ronni Mott is fielding the last-minute donations (which include a surprise pair of diamond hoop earrings for the silent auction from Carter's Jewelers worth $700, thanks to Natalie Piazza). Photographer Jennifer Carter walked in today with three gift certificates for $500 photo sessions. And we have artwork from heavy-hitter gallery owners as well as artists new to the whole selling thing.

(Oh, and the district attorney sent over a check for $100. So much for talking up that lady's dress tail.)

In other words, the Chick Ball is for everyone, whether you're hankering to hear Lisa Palmer and Josh Weiner or Infinite's rhymes. If you can just pay the $5 to get in and buy a Coke, come on down to Hal & Mal's Thursday night and enjoy great music. If you can afford to bid on diamond earrings and compete for an HC Porter, please bring your checkbook or credit card. We will also be selling Chick Ball t-shirts designed by Jakob Clark and blow-ups of fun JFP covers, and we'll take donations at the door (checks made out to Center for Violence Prevention).

So, ladies—and gentlemen who respect and love them—here's your chance. Regardless of the size of your mouth, you can speak up by joining us for a party you won't soon forget and raise money and awareness for a vital concern at the same time. You can wear knockout blingy outfits, or sit back in your jeans and admire all the shine on other people.

People, this ball is for you—big, sassy mouths and all. It's talk-back time.

See jfpchickball.com for details on the event and how to donate to the cause.

Previous Comments

ID

92229

Comment

For some reason, I never doubted that you were loud. Thanks for the reassurance, though.

Author

rpr

Date

2007-05-17T11:06:42-06:00

ID

92230

Comment

Sounds like somebody's crunk! :-)

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-05-17T11:08:09-06:00

ID

92231

Comment

You forgot the "...and proud" part, rpr. ;-D And don't worry: I'll keep reminding you. I am crunk, L.W. We're doing to raise a lot of dough tonight for domestic violence—and celebrate chickdom in a very fun way.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-05-17T11:18:12-06:00

ID

92232

Comment

I'm sure you will keep reminding me. I hate to have write this on this particular page b/c this is a very worth while cause. I hope you raise a fortune and I whole heartedly support it. However, I just couldn't resist commenting on the "loud" stuff. My wife is as strong a woman as I've ever known. Everyone that knows her knows she is strong and independent. The difference between her and you is that she doesn't have to go around telling everyone. Ok, I got to go back to work... enough for this month.

Author

rpr

Date

2007-05-17T11:24:17-06:00

ID

92233

Comment

As a tribute to the Chick Ball, I will use James Brown's spirit: SAY IT PROUD, "I'M FEMALE AND I'M LOUD!"

Author

justjess

Date

2007-05-17T11:34:28-06:00

ID

92234

Comment

Donna, in your case, I don't see anything wrong with tooting your own horn if you always have people trying to take the horn from you. Of course, you're tall enough to hold the horn in the air so they can't reach it - especially a certain short fellow that we know of. Have Darren draw that for you. LOL

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-05-17T11:41:00-06:00

ID

92235

Comment

Don't worry, rpr, there's one of you in every crowd. I'm long past the point of worrying about whether I make you uncomfortable. The problem, sir, is that because enough strong women don't speak loud and proud, we live in a state where many women do not have role models calling for them to speak up, whether about politics or abuse. You might have an argument if our state was actually SAFE and SUPPORTIVE of women, but we have a lot of work to do on that front. And it won't get done if women worry about making men such as yourself comfortable by being LOUD. See ya next month. ;-D

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-05-17T12:18:27-06:00

ID

92236

Comment

rpr, I don't think Donna started the paper so she could whisper her opinions, quietly, in the hope that someone would notice.

Author

kate

Date

2007-05-17T13:20:48-06:00

ID

92237

Comment

Will there be any of the JFP men left at the office tonight? The mood feels right for a Melton type of night. ;-)

Author

pikersam

Date

2007-05-17T13:20:49-06:00

ID

92238

Comment

Pike, you think that Melton would raid the Chick Ball? "Donna, you're under arrest for being a stool pigeon." Tee hee.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-05-17T13:53:08-06:00

ID

92239

Comment

Sheesh Ladd, lighten up. Take a deep breath. Relax a bit. Stop using your kneejerk reactions/attacks. I am simply poking fun at YOUR "loud" statement. It was hardly an attack on women's rights! What a stretch. Do you usually get away with wild accusations like this? I hope not. Also you say, that I "might have an argument if".... What argument was I making? Again, I was simply making a sarcastic remark about you saying that you were loud. Then you turn it into an attack on domestic violence, abortion (I assume), etc. Nice work. Is this the kind of journalism you practice? Any more wild accusations? Did I also shoot JR? By the way, you don't make me uncomfortable in the slightest. Keep dreaming. Nausiated? Maybe...but definetely not uncomfortable.

Author

rpr

Date

2007-05-17T15:52:36-06:00

ID

92240

Comment

PS Has it already been a month?

Author

rpr

Date

2007-05-17T15:53:56-06:00

ID

92241

Comment

way to be loud! as they say, "well-behaved women rarely make history"!

Author

hawkeye

Date

2007-05-17T19:32:59-06:00

ID

92242

Comment

I'm sure this will go ahead and get me banned again but I have to speak up. Oh poor Donna Ladd! Melton says one word about you being a "big mouth" and your right back up on your cross! LOL. You are the eternal victim, constantly invoking your Mississippi roots so you can have one aspect of defensibility against people who would claim your just an interloper from outside the south, constantly accusing people who live here of impropriety. Well, you are. Despite your credentials from being from Neshoba county, or wherever you claim to hail from. You and your Columbia degree smack of a disdain for Mississippi and sit in judgment on everyone in this state like an anthropologist who would look at rare ants in South America through a microscope. Through the voice of the JFP you cast down upon the rest of this state the idea that we all are either 1)ignorant rednecks, who don't know their head from a hole in the ground, or 2)ignorant poor people who are just waiting for their voice in someone like yourself. Well wake up and smell the coffee. YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT THIS STATE, YOU JACKASS. And yes, I just called you a jackass, just like you call everyone on these messageboards who disagree with you, assholes. I firmly believe your a self-deluded, self-righteous, demagogue who shouts from the rafters that your right and everyone else is wrong. Well, surprise, surprise, your not. So, I'm sorry you got your little feelings hurt by being called a "big mouth" by Frank Melton, but come on. Its Frank Melton. A man who lost just about every vestige of credibility, but you still have to write an ENTIRE COLUMN dedicated to responding to his allegations. What a little person you are. LOL. The entire time I'm reading this column, I'm humming the "Battle Hymn of the Republic." LOL. Additionally, everyone watch: the second that I criticize the golden calf of Donna Ladd, this comment will either dissappear or I'll be banned. LOL. Can't take a little criticism you self-righteous, hack? Didn't think so. Whoooooosh.......disappeared, Pinochet style.

Author

TheWatchmen

Date

2007-05-18T22:32:56-06:00

ID

92243

Comment

I just signed the lettre de cachet.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2007-05-19T00:14:25-06:00

ID

92244

Comment

watchman you must be one of those abusers. You really come across as a woman hater. We all know your kind. You can't stand a woman who speaks out against those men who act like they own women. U need to take a hot bath and relax. Women speak out and are now turning you abusers out and into prison. Ladd stay a" loud mouth" we know where you are coming from. LONG LIVE THE LOUD MOUTH WOMEN OF THE WORLD.

Author

jada

Date

2007-05-19T01:24:53-06:00

ID

92245

Comment

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt, another famous big mouth

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-05-19T08:18:07-06:00

ID

92246

Comment

Oooo, I guess I got under some boy skin. I would never want to do that. (Eyelashes fluttering.) I guess Watchman hasn't gotten the point that I'm NOT a victim. I don't feel victimized at all. I'm not taking Melton's, or his, bait. And that drives people like that crazy. LOLL. (That means Laughing Out Loud Loudly.) However, Watchman, I appreciate you taking my bait and showing the world what a scared jacka$$ really looks like. You, too, rpr. ;-D P.S. It tickles me that y'all boyz post your silly hate screeds against me anonymously. And, no, I wouldn't think of removing these desperate posts. They make my point better than I could.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-05-19T09:12:51-06:00

ID

92247

Comment

I get the feeling the that the loud fat lady is going to sing to the Watchmen if he doesn't watch what he says.

Author

golden eagle

Date

2007-05-19T09:27:40-06:00

ID

92248

Comment

Go, Donna, get'em stirred and keep'em stirred! LOLL! (I like that one).

Author

C.W.

Date

2007-05-19T09:34:15-06:00

ID

92249

Comment

Nice one, L.W. No worries here: I don't give ANYONE permission to make me feel inferior, and that drives a handful of folks crazy. And that feels good. ;-) And, golden, are you calling me fat? ;-P

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-05-19T09:36:19-06:00

ID

92250

Comment

You and your Columbia degree smack of a disdain for Mississippi and sit in judgment on everyone in this state like an anthropologist who would look at rare ants in South America through a microscope. the watchman Dude, I only had to move out of State - to other Southern States for several years - to come back and look at this place in amazement. I am highly amazed at how shackled the whites and a vocal sect of blacks are to the vestiges of the 60's. That's not to say they aren't still dealing with it in other Southern areas. It is just that they have marginalized the fringe haters, and put the "bottom line" first when it comes to COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT. Sure some areas are still divided like school lunch rooms with certain people on one side and other folks across the room. That's society - not hate. But, what they don't allow to happen is a bunch of uneducated people (or people who ignore the knowledge they have) shout down new ideas because they are too white or too black of a project. Otherwise, the leaders deflect and minimize the things fringe haters say like, "this is only going to bring more whites in the area and we'll get run out." Or like, "Every project the City does is for the Blacks! They could give a rats ass if the white areas turn to dirt and we all move away!" And, both those statements are heard here on a daily bases from citizens and our local, county, and state representatives. Not saying we aren't getting better, I really think we are. I'm just pointing out what I see without my Columbia degree, just the experiences of life in other cities, much like ours, who did what we are needing to do (and kinda doing) 10 to 15 years ago. Ben Allen said something really interesting about Jackson changing - needing to change. He said, "Bubba," (paraphrase from here) you know there are so many people I know who just want Jackson to return to the splendor of the 60's. He said, sure the 60's may have been nice for some people, white people! But, if your were black, the 60's wasn't a fun time in Jackson. So, we can't go back to the 60's. We have changed, are changing and need to change. So, they need to get over that notion and work with people of all types to get this City in right direction. Ben, please feel free to fix what I've said. I hope I did it justice because when you said it you could tell even Larry may have had a moment of clarity after you said it. Made sense to me; and many of us have screamed it for a while. Welcome to MS in 2007, watchman!

Author

pikersam

Date

2007-05-19T09:59:31-06:00

ID

92251

Comment

Thanks, Pike. The truth is, as I write all the time, Mississippi is a wonderful place filled with wonderful people. It has also been held hostage to a small group of selfish loudmouths (ha!) who don't want the rest of us to get together and demand better. Mississippians have the intelligence, creativity, passion and compassion to join forces to take ourselves off the bottom of the barrell economically and to be the most progressive state in the country. (We also have the demographics to do that, and the scared folks know it; thus, their doth-protesting-too-much.) In other words, if they weren't threatened sh!tless, they wouldn't troll around this site, leaving droppings that they hope will divide and scare off the rest of us. Put it this way: They're sh!ttin' in the wrong outhouse here. The childish insults have no credentials, or credibility, here. Oh, and I'm more proud of my Mississippi State degree than my Columbia degree. When I went to State in 1979, it was a big deal for anyone in my family to go to college, especially a state university rather than a junior college. People all around me were surprised to hear that I was "goin' straight to State." And my mother, who never attended school, thought that Mississippi State was the most learned institution on the planet. I'll never forget her pride at Stennis Scholarship receptions and when I graduated in 1983. Yes, I'm also proud of the Columbia degree. I didn't go there until 1999 (for a mid-career journalism master's), and as a Mississippi trailer-park redneck who had been told that I wasn't good enough by my own culture (and folks like those yucks up above), it took me many years to even believe that I was good enough to step foot inside an Ivy League institution. And once I got there, it was a mixed bag. I met professors and fellow students I adored and learned much from; I met others who were uptight snots who needed to feel better than others. It was one more lesson in learning how much more alike humans are than different. At any rate, my crazy winding path led me home after Columbia, and I couldn't be happier about it. And I will continue to do what I can to give back to what this state has given me. My personal way to do that is by opening channels of communication to people who haven't had one in the past. That's apt to chap an a$$ or two along the way. All in a day's work. Cheers.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-05-19T10:09:52-06:00

ID

92252

Comment

Oh, and the other thing I will never do is apologize for my personal quest for education—which took me to State and Columbia, to NYC, Colorado and other states, and eventually back home. My mother instilled in me a passion to know everything I can, and to help others in whatever ways I can to do the same thing. There is nothing anyone can say that will ever change that in me. Not a mayor who doesn't like to be questioned. Not a jacka$$ troll who wants to see us all shut up and accept the status quo. There is no difference in those people belittling education and facts than a kid in high school making fun of someone who likes to study and makes good grades. It comes from the same place: ignorance. I believe in education in all its forms, and I believe in Mississippi. Sorry if that offends some of you guys, but you might as well get used to it. You don't own this state.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-05-19T10:12:54-06:00

ID

92253

Comment

I read this poem, and it made me think about this thread. Here it is: Butterfly

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-05-19T16:06:23-06:00

ID

92254

Comment

And, golden, are you calling me fat? ;-P A figure of speech. :P ;)

Author

golden eagle

Date

2007-05-20T21:30:25-06:00