Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Mr. Announcement: "On this episode of 'All God's Churn Got Shoes,' Nurse Tootie McBride and her certified nursing assistant, Nurse Tasha, are determined to beat down poverty in the ghetto. To complete this monumental task, they need a loan from Rudy McBride, president of Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank. But first, Tootie and Tasha must convince Rudy to loan them 'da money.'"
Nurse Tootie: "Nurse Tasha gave me the rundown about medical facilities paying thousands of dollars to train overseas folk to work as CNAs, aka certified nursing assistants. This smells like a covert method of outsourcing jobs to me. Now I'm all about helping people, but I believe we should deal with the unemployment and poverty situation that terrorizes our brothers and sisters in the funky ghetto. Nurse Tasha, a statistical math wiz, has figured out a way to beat down poverty by 33 percent. Do the numbers, Nurse Tasha!"
Nurse Tasha: "Let's say that approximately $300 pays for one financially challenged individual to receive six weeks of intense training to become a CNA. If you loan us $100,000, Nurse Tootie and I can train approximately 33 poor folk to obtain gainful employment in the health-care industry, earning about $12 per hour."
Nurse Tootie: "Bam! That's the plan, Rudy! So will you let a sista hold a lil' something to help people—who live in a 'Sicko' nation—heal from the ills of poverty?"
Stig, you've done it again. Bravo!