Ellington

Some people give things up for Lent, then resume whatever they gave up on Easter. I can appreciate the self-discipline aspect of this, but this year I think what I need to give up--and try not to resume again on Easter--is my hatred and bitterness.

It's one thing to be angry. It's another thing entirely to bear grudges. So without further ado, I offer blanket forgiveness to:

(1) The Northeast Jackson Angry Men's Club and the Stokesian Mill Street Posse. I do not have to like all of you. I do not have to agree with any of you. But I, the genetic product of countless Confederate soldiers and segregationists, would be (and have been) an absolute fool to lump people into tidy little categories and then do the very easy work of demonizing the people in those categories. To paraphrase Gandhi, I must become the change I want to see in the city. I'm getting better at that than I used to be, but I still have a long, long way to go--and saying "Hey, at least I'm not like those people..." only encourages me to slack off.

(2) The Clarion-Ledger. Spending time at the capitol with actual C-L reporters has shown me that they have an incredibly difficult job, and however much I may disagree with and even occasionally find myself repulsed by the priorities and decisions of the editorial board, it is wrong--morally wrong--for me to condemn them when I have absolutely no idea how much work, and how much sheer chaos, is involved in running a daily paper. Does the JFP do a better job? Yes, but the JFP is also built on a newer journalism model--not to mention the fact that editors at the JFP actually get to choose which stories to cover, when daily papers have to cover every blooming thing that happens in an at least readably interesting way, even if it's screamingly dull or unworkably convoluted. In that context, occasional mistakes and errors of judgment are inevitable. The Clarion-Ledger is always up to its proverbial ass in alligators, and it stands to reason that its staff members will occasionally forget to drain the swamp. It could use an ombudsman, reporters and other staff need to be contacted when they get things wrong, but in the final analysis, the paper does not benefit from or deserve my condemnation.

(3) The extreme right wing in the Mississippi State Legislature. Yes, you proposed dangerous, politically-motivated abortion bills that you never intended to see passed into law. But you only did it because you think people like me have such a wicked point of view that it's worth a few underhanded tactics to keep us out of power. I may think that your worldview is irrational and outdated, but I shouldn't fault your methods; the truth is that if I had the power to put right-wing legislators in a similar tough spot, I'm sure I'd exercise it. You may glare at me when I walk the halls of the state capitol, but from now on, I will try not to glare back. Oh, I'll still be angry--the world needs more righteous anger, more outrage, more chanting, more marching, more fierceness, more action from feminists like me. But I do not help the movement at all when I fall prey to hate, in part because hate makes me say some really stupid things. It is vitally important that I learn how to distinguish righteous anger from hate.

(4) Pike. Nuff said.

(5) Myself. The truth is that I'm way too self-critical, way too eager to apologize when I've done nothing wrong, way too eager to level value judgments against myself. In the final analysis, I am what I am. I should do better when I think there's a way I can do better, but I need to stop beating myself up for things I could have done better in the past. I deal with my personal faults in a very inefficient and self-defeating way, very much like taking a sledgehammer to a car's windshield because the transmission stopped working. Moral progress must begin with self-acceptance. I forgive Tom Head.

I don't expect perfection from myself on any of these points, but you can take this post as an indicator that from now on, I am at least going to try to be less bitter, less hateful, and less arrogant than I have sometimes been in the past.

Previous Comments

ID

110477

Comment

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? :-) Enjoyed your article.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-02-26T18:15:46-06:00