Ellington

All year long, many of the people who make our lives livable work in relative anonymity: the mail carriers, the garbage people, the newspaper delivery guy. Others—like the folks who do our hair and care for our kids—we see frequently, but could hardly call "intimates." We want to give them a little something extra during the holidays, but what and how much?

With a few notable exceptions, cash is always a welcome gift for service people. Other ideas include gift certificates if you know where they shop, or pre-loaded "debit" cards from major credit-card vendors that can be used anywhere.

If you have issues about giving holiday gifts or tipping, remember that all of this is optional, sort of like voting. But, if you decide not to tip don't complain about bad service, either. Like voting, if you don't participate, you forfeit your right to complain. Many of the service people on our list make sub-standard wages; they count on tips to make a decent living. On the other hand, don't feel obligated to over-tip a waitperson just because it's the holidays. If you have a regular table and a server who knows what you want before you sit down, consider an extra gift.

While there are plenty of differing opinions, here are a few basic guidelines for holiday tipping amounts to get you started:

Mail carrier: The U.S. Postal Service regulations say that carriers can't accept cash or any gift valued at more than $20. Think about a Cups coffee card or a book of coupons from a lunch spot on their route. If your carrier has really gone above and beyond, write a letter of praise to their supervisor.

Garbage collectors: $10 to $15 each.

Newspaper deliverer: Daily $15 to $25; weekends only $5 to $15.

Cleaning person: If you use a service and never know who will show up, nothing. If you have one person who comes regularly, give the equivalent of one cleaning.

Baby sitter: Equivalent of two night's pay or more, and possibly a small gift.

Day care provider: $15 to $25, and a small gift from your child.

Your child's coach, ballet teacher, tutor, etc.: a small gift from your child.

Teacher: $25 to $100.

Hairstylist: Equivalent of one regular visit. If he or she is also a confidant, consider a small personal gift as well.

Manicurist: $15 or more.

Should you tip the owner? If the owner provides your service personally, yes. If not, no.

For a definitive guide to tipping, including travel tipping, tip jars, and more, see Tipguide. For holiday specifics, see also Kiplinger.