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City Council is Fun

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Police Chief Shirlene Anderson was on the hot seat during that same City Council session. Council members questioned the police chief on her department's enforcement of the city's ban on parking 18-wheelers in residential neighborhoods. "Chief, I really need some help in Ward 2," Councilman Leslie McLemore pleaded. "I'm trying to protect property values."

Anderson responded with a confusing reassurance about how shifts had been changed to address the problem, but this did not satisfy Councilman Marshand Crisler. "This is an easy one to enforce, Chief," Crisler said. He went on to describe how often he observed police cruisers driving right past illegally parked 18-wheelers, not bothering to stop to write a ticket. "I don't think it's getting out in the briefings. … With your permission, I want to ride along with some of these beat officers."

Anderson then argued that there was little point in writing tickets because the jails were full anyway, which led Council President Ben Allen to say: "I wish our fancy little City Council badges would let us write tickets. I'd have a lot more fun on Saturdays."

Anderson responded with an affectionate expletive.

The joking stopped thereafter, however, when Allen described how quickly law enforcement officers engaged in turf wars when presented with new ideas such as the proposal for a misdemeanor jail. "I want a crime summit that includes the chief of police," he said. "I want a cherette between the experts on this, where they spend three or four days together and figure out what we need to do. Society is begging for answers."

As Allen spoke, Anderson pointedly ignored him, first talking to Chief of Staff Marcus Ward and then Carolyn Redd, Melton's sister-in-law-who is a city spokeswoman when she isn't busy organizing faux-rallies in support of Melton's innocence—or rather, even when she is organizing such rallies, which aren't so much protests that Melton is innocent as they are that his guilt doesn't matter.

Strangely, several members, including McLemore, Crisler, Allen and Melton, claimed that the city's failure to enforce the rules on parking 18-wheelers inspired contempt for the law, which leads to more serious crimes like drug use and murder. This is a remarkably opportunistic distortion of the broken-windows theory of crime control, not to mention an insult to common sense.

By the way, if you think City Council is boring, check out this quote from Councilman Stokes on prostitution in his ward: "We have as many white prostitutes as black prostitutes. … We have more prostitutes than we have grocery stores in some of these neighborhoods."

Also, Councilman Bluntson called on the police to stop any car that looks "suspicious" or has a disproportionate number of teenagers as passengers. Still, it's important to follow the law, he added, though he wasn't sure what it was.

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The JFP goes to press this Halloween, so it is impossible to say whether it will end in mayhem or merriment. Still, it was strange to hear City Council members talk about the holiday last Tuesday. Councilman Kenneth Stokes and Mayor Frank Melton in particular expressed concern that children might be poisoned by Halloween candy. "There are a lot of crazies out there harming children," Stokes claimed about the holiday.

For the record, there are no confirmed cases of random Halloween-candy poisoning. The few times Halloween candy has been poisoned, it was at the hands of family members targeting specific children. Of course, we have all heard the stories, but they are just that—stories. One would hope that city officials would check their facts before spreading unsubstantiated hysteria, but then, fact-checking has never been Mayor Melton's strong point.

See snopes.com for an analysis of the Halloween-candy urban myth.

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