Ellington

All around us the message sent is clear: 'You have to drive or live in this to show off your success.' If you've "made it", society seems inclined to set rules and regulations for proof. Ironically, the same guidelines seem to apply no matter what your social status. As a whole we are obsessed with having others fit our particular standards or ideals.

In 1990, when I began my high school years, I was daily reminded of a fact that I used to take for granted: I am black. That might seem ridiculous to say, but it was that time in my life when it seemed most important. I had always befriended people in general growing up, all races and sizes. It wasn't a part of my upbringing to think more or less of others so what I began to experience in high school was something discouraging.

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Previous Comments

ID

105703

Comment

This part caught my eye: I learned early that people who try to intimidate and humiliate do so to bring you down to their level so they feel superior. I know this firsthand, even in predominately black schools. I don't remember anyone saying I was trying to be white, but I do remember names like "nerd", "crybaby" because I was so sensitive, and "sanctified" because I couldn't wear pants. I always gravitated toward the only white kid in the class or the one in Special Ed who had to sit in every once in a while or the student in crutches. I didn't know why at the time, but I think I did not want them to feel the same alienation that I felt. I didn't get a lot of invitations to parties and sleepovers. I never got asked out on dates. I could care less about the prom because I knew it would be more of the same - me sitting in the corner watching purses. My teenage life didn't even begin until I was 17 and in college, and even that took some effort. I wasn't able to relax and socialize a little until my sophomore year because I got picked on now and then that first year, and I was trying to get away from all that. I gradually learned how to either ignore these clowns or "get 'em told" in a tactful manner. I'm still working on it, though.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-09T19:25:37-06:00

ID

105704

Comment

Unfortunately, L.W., this is something that goes on alot. I was in Peeples Middle School last week as part of my tour for National Poetry Month and you would be surprised how many of the students told me---in a predominantly black school---that they are made fun of because they are different and try to tread their own paths. This mentality begins early, but it can also be countered early. They learn so much, good and bad, by those of us who are said to be their role models.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-09T19:53:55-06:00

ID

105705

Comment

I didn't have to read much to be able to relate. I was always an honor roll student in grade school, which wasn't easy growing up in a poor black neighborhood where it was routine to get teased, picked on and called "nerd" all for trying to get an education, mind my parents, and keep my nose out of trouble. I still have sad memories of how nervous I would be when we would have honor roll assembly at school, and they would trot out all of the honor roll students before the entire school, and I'd have to hear the taunts from jealous peers. Each time I kept hoping for once to hear more applause and encouragement than taunts and sneers for doing what I'm supposed to do, and that's get an education. After a while, your skin begins to toughen and you learn to ignore the ignorance, focusing on goals and not letting small-mindedness get in the way. To be honest, these sorts of taunts go on in the white community too (I'm pretty sure black folk didn't invent the terms "nerd" or "square"). But it's more painful to get it from other blacks because in the end we are all in the same struggle, and instead of trying to put someone else down, we should all be striving to do the best that we can with what God has given us. We can't all be scholars, but we don't have to settle for mediocrity, either. In other words, don't hate, IMITATE!

Author

Jeff Lucas

Date

2006-04-09T21:20:39-06:00

ID

105706

Comment

ejeff1970, I agree with you wholeheartedly. There is ignorance and jealousy in every race, no doubt, but it is hard when you already have certain feelings of inferiority. I know I had it. People called me conceited, stuck-up and snotty, not because of what I did but because of what I wasn't doing. Now, I did my share of dirt, like all young people, but I made getting a good education during my public school years a priority. I wrote this because I feel like we are being a part of the problem when we ignore the fact that it's not just the "white man" that causes blacks trouble. We do quite a good job of that by ourselves.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-09T21:42:23-06:00

ID

105707

Comment

I wrote this because I feel like we are being a part of the problem when we ignore the fact that it's not just the "white man" that causes blacks trouble. We do quite a good job of that by ourselves. Like I said yesterday, we are our own worst enemy.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-09T21:45:37-06:00

ID

105708

Comment

L.W., you are right and what really pisses me off is that you can't convince alot of blacks of that. I am the oldest of two boys. By brother is said to be more "down" than I am because he has a "pimped out" ride, smokes, drinks, has tattoos and fits more stigmas. It has taken the last few years for us to try and bridge the gap between us. I can't tell you how many times I would hear him tell people when his friends would call and I answer the phone that he had a white brother, just because of the way I talked. When I do something, I don't do it to be like anybody. I do it because I am comfortable with it. One thing I will never say is that just because I do it that it is okay. People who talk, dress and act differently than me can easily be more credible. I just don't think you should be judged because of your qualities that you have. Your character should count for something.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-09T21:53:10-06:00

ID

105709

Comment

Yep, character should count, but people today are so superficial and self-centered. They often don't realize this truth until a large portion of their lives have been wasted on looking for nothing but a good time.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-09T22:33:25-06:00

ID

105710

Comment

And another thing, L.W.: isn't it amazing how people seem to get off on making others feel small or not as good? Talk about sick! When it comes to success, it is often jealousy that keeps some from having it. Just think of how many young people especially don't excel because they are told they won't amount to anything anyway. And then you have those who are told that it's not cool or hip to be educated and informed. There's so much to contend with in life already without feeling as though your every move is being analyzed.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-09T22:39:59-06:00

ID

105711

Comment

"We are our worst enemies" L.W. this is so true. When will this seperation end and unity begin? People fail to realize that in reality there is no such thing as acting white or black. Different cultures have different traditions and values but essentially there is no one value or characteristic that can be attributed to one race. We are all of the human race sharing many things in common. I think that this type of thinking starts at home. Many parents don't realize the subconcious actions and words they say or do that lead children to thinking this way. Some are blatant and others are not, but the point is that getting an education, speaking properly, and wanting the best life possible does not constitute being "white." If this is true then selling drugs, riding spinners, and speaking Black Venacular English is what constitutes being black. It is truly time for a change... I personally have never experianced this type of environment as i grew ip in Illinois with a somewhat diverse educational experiance. I learned right longside of whites, hispanics, blacks, and asians all through elementary and high school. So this was not really an issue, but living in an primarily black home environment i can see where this issue might arise. It is sad, because it seems that blacks have been taught that only whites get the best ( meaning best education, best homes, best jobs) and this way of thinking is passed on through generation. To change this it must start with the children. This is why I am all for intergrating schools.

Author

jan2006

Date

2006-04-10T11:20:57-06:00

ID

105712

Comment

jan2006 writes: "it seems that blacks have been taught that only whites get the best." I agree with that, and some young black people will tell you that. I think alot of that goes back to having a good image about yourself. I didn't have alot of love for me growing up so I tried to please those around me. It wasn't until my suicide attempt in 1996 that it came to me that success and failure for me is left up to me. You can't let those on the outside affect the way you feel about yourself on the inside.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-10T11:39:24-06:00

ID

105713

Comment

yes, c a webb, I agree with you totally. It does begin with self and the image that you have of yourself. We as a black nation are not taught how to love ourselves, therefore we hate ourselves and in return we hurt ourselves. We need healing and people there to tell us as children that we are special, that we are God's precious children, that we are beautiful on the inside and out, and we are somebody. We need encouragement! Many black children don't hear this, in fact they hear the opposite; as L.W. stated: "many young people especially don't excel because they are told they won't amount to anything anyway" this is sad but the truth. "You can't let those on the outside affect the way you feel about yourself on the inside." Preach! I must say that statement there is sooo the truth, but it is so hard to reach that type of conclusion when it is others opinion and perceptions of ourselves with which we put so much emphasis on.

Author

jan2006

Date

2006-04-10T12:51:49-06:00

ID

105714

Comment

Ooooooooohhhh, can I ever talk about the "nerd" thing from the white side of the fence, given that I am white - and "different" besides. (well, I'm probably more "eccentric" than a "true" "nerd", but that's just an incidental detail). I'm in a rush now, so I'll just be brief. It's enough to say that our nation's white youth aren't exactly setting the world on fire with their love of intellect either. Just look at international test rankings. At least 70% of the responsibility for our low scores by international standards are the whites' fault!! If we want to improve our nation's test scores, there's gotta be DEEP changes in the youth culture - of all ethnicities. Otherwise, no matter how talented the teachers, most kids simply will not bother to learn !!!! And we wonder why we are dead last or close to it among the economically advanced nations!!!

Author

Philip

Date

2006-04-10T13:10:06-06:00

ID

105715

Comment

Philip, community responsibility is exactly what Kamikaze spoke about at the free2flow event. We live in a time when young people especially want things right away, and they don't see getting good grades and the need to excel in academics as the way to go. I agree with you that all cultures have work to do, but it is necessary for those who have been disadvantaged in the past for whatever reason to see the need to work hard to dispel the myths by doing their very best, whatever that might be. Jan2006 says: "We are God's precious children...we are somebody." What a statement. You know what I have never understood about what was going on in this country and even in our state some 40 years ago? How some of one race felt like they were better than someone of another! And really, is that not what we are seeing today? Maybe it appears in a different form, but the outcome is still the same.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-10T13:32:34-06:00

ID

105716

Comment

Well, even I can talk a little bit about this. I certainly didn't always do my best in school. I was considered very capable academically but rarely ever wanted to be grouped with those kid who consistently got their lesson and made good grades. My grades fluctuated from average to great. My great moments on the rare occasions they surfaced were so great that most students and teachers ranked me one of the best despite the fact I performed on an average level most of the time. My problem was I was too lazy to do good all the time. I didn't see the point to being that way so early in life (perhaps this explains my poor writing skills). At one point or another I competed with and beat every student in my class except a boy named Jimmy (I had a 99 average and he had a 100. I gave up on him. He worked too hard). I would bet my friends I could out perform all of the stars for a 6 week period. After I proved my point I went back to lazy Ray. Before I became grown I promised the good Lord that if he allowed me to escape poverty that I would never use symbols - cars, clothes, houses or other things to make people feel jealous, envious, and smaller than me, or to give myself some sense of importance beyond what I deserve or needed. I finally did buy a nice house and cars more so for others than me. But I drive an old truck most of the time and wear jeans and a hat so no one would recognize me. Probably the most dishearthening thing for me is the fact that so many people, including family members, will not accord you any respect without those symbols being flashed before them. I can't count the people who still tell me despite what I have accomplished, "you don't like a" you know what. Or they say where is your Lexus, Mercedes, etc. I simply say at the house hidden in the garage.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-04-10T13:45:44-06:00

ID

105717

Comment

Ray Carter writes: "Probably the most disheartening thing for me is the fact that so many people, including family members, will not accord you any respect without those symbols being flashed before them." Ray, you're right. Talk about pressure. But I think the same about that as I do about those who say that you have to go to college in order to "make it." Black people especially have been spoon-fed such crap for the longest. You have to have this, or drive this, or control this or you are nothing. My thing would be, nothing... to who? Some supposed no-it-all that is going by what they think instead of what they know? As had been said before on this thread, we have to wake up!

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-10T17:17:37-06:00

ID

105718

Comment

But I think the same about that as I do about those who say that you have to go to college in order to "make it." College isn't for everybody. Some young people have already mapped out what they want to do, and entrepreneurship does not need a college prerequisite. It could help, but it's not mandatory. There are so many times that I wonder how often my resume' was tossed in the trash when they saw mt first name was Latasha. I thought about using initials instead, but if the resume' says I went to Callaway and Tougaloo, I still have a challenge if I wanted to get a job locally because they know those schools are predominately black. I am proud to have a degree, but I have learned from the school of hard knocks that that piece of paper is not a meal ticket. They want experience and certifications more than anything these days.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-10T21:06:49-06:00

ID

105719

Comment

L.W., this sounds so much like what we discussed at the free2flow summit. Like I said then, I was told that my life would not amount to anything of importance because I didn't go to college. I beg to differ with that. How many people do we know with degrees that end up spending their adult lives at fast food restaurants or grocery stores. Not that there is anything wrong with either job, but I always tell young people. Make your college years, if you decide to go that route, amount to something. Know what you want to do with your life and make decisions that support that. Above all, don't spend 4-6 years of your life doing something just because you have people in your ear telling you that you should. Follow your heart. In the end, right or wrong, you'll be glad that you did.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-10T21:25:47-06:00

ID

105720

Comment

okay first when I began reading this I kicked back to "bully mode" and I though, Wow these folk are having a pity party up in here today for real. Let me expand. I've always been one of those popular girls...involved in gangs....in high school I spent more time in detention and on suspension than I did in class. However, grades were never an issue for me. Fortunately I was one of those students who was able to learn early how to pass a class without letting school become boring and such. But reading on down, I learned what I was fortunate to have that say LW did not have and that was a sense of pride. Not singling you out...but like I said before I remember you from the Loo and I can picture you walking the campus and to be honest with you reading your post has made me very ashamed of some of the things I heard (possibly said) and laughed at while I was on that campus. Not particularly at you but at the idea of the regular, stereotypical idea of the type of people who go to Tougaloo. I worked hard not to be perceived as that type. I didn't want any parts of folks thinking that I was a "nerd" or any thing remotely related to that. However I've learned now that the nerds have blogs on JFP Website. The quiet ones we laughed at for getting their assignments in and having the audacity to go to a friday afternoon class are the people that are reporting the news, and starting their own businesses, and having meetings with Frank Melton. Here I am still climbing...not utilizing anything I studied while at Tougaloo. Working day to day, check to check just like the folk I didn't want to be like when I registered for Tougaloo. Don't get me wrong I went through a stage where I was picked on too, however, I decided not to continue...had a couple of fights with the bullies, and that's all she wrote. I took on a very different image and that one worked better for me so that's who I became.However I am still BLACK AND PROUD. Whatever I am? It's me! I'm a creature of God as you are and that in itself makes me worthy of respect. AS IT DOES FOR YOU! Sometimes we just have to stop being quiet and let folk know that we demand that we are treated the way they want us to treat them.

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-13T14:12:26-06:00

ID

105721

Comment

I for one am proud of you Latasha. Proud of your adversities, proud of your persistence and proud to say that I was there when. All those things that hurt you in middle school all the way up to college have made you a respectable part of this community. Your voice is not only heard, but it is sought after. We need you and if you hadn't gone through all the drama....you wouldn't be able to offer us the best of you today. BRAVO!! And on behalf of the bullies and the hard core maniacs that made high school and elementary hard...I extend my heartfelt apologies.

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-13T14:12:35-06:00

ID

105722

Comment

Queen601, Thanks for your comments on this thread. I have to say that it shows alot of what I have learned myself: Time brings about a change. My purpose for introducing this topic was because I don't want those in schools today feeling as though they have to talk about others or make themselves feel superior so that there own insecurities will not be mentioned. I believe that there is room for more than one on the way up to the top. That's goes for all of us, regardless of race.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-13T14:22:53-06:00

ID

105723

Comment

Thanks! I enjoy your blogs.

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-13T14:48:51-06:00

ID

105724

Comment

Queen, thanks for your comments. I actually started getting teased in kindergarten, but that's another story. Yeah, I know I got talked about at the Loo. People lied and said I was a lesbian, that I practiced voodoo, that I went around asking people for condoms, and that I was crazy. Well, whatever. I didn't care about looking like a nerd. I had a presidential scholarship to hang on to. I never liked a lot of partying, and nightclubs are not even on my radar. I tried for a short while to fit in a little more while I was there, but it wasn't worth it. My grades began to slip, and I didn't sleep well. When my senior year came around, I shut out everything else and worked on graduating because that's the main reason I was there. I graduated cum laude, but I know it could have been magna cum laude (or even summa cum laude) if I didn't start trying to be "in" for a year and a half. Not one of those people I was trying to impress ever offered me a job or paid one bill. So, whatever they said about me then means as much to me as a roadkill sandwich - nothing.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-13T21:46:33-06:00

ID

105725

Comment

ca, Richard Wright didn't go to college. I don't think James Baldwin did either, but I'm not sure about him. College does little if you don't go there to learn. You can certainly learn and develop without college if you're determined. You have already proven that yourself.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-04-14T08:28:40-06:00

ID

105726

Comment

Ray Carter writes: "College does little if you don't go there to learn." I agree with you, Ray, and that's why I say that you can't learn if your heart is not in it. Like I said before, the bigger picture on this topic is that we have to be comfortable in our own skin. And what we are not comfortable with, we have to be able to change. If we spend out time trying to better ourselves and others, and not focus on what makes us different, then we can do much in healing the divisions that are between us.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-14T09:23:19-06:00

ID

105727

Comment

My 2 cents on this college thing goes as follows: I guess I could sum it all up by sharing my stance on my child attending college. I will surely encourage him to go to college and finish earning a degree, however, I will also make it as plain as I can that whether you have a degree or not success is still expected from him. I expect that whether he goes to college or not that he will make a difference in the world (I will most assuredly be an advocate for staying in the city of Jackson and making a difference here, however, that will be his choice). I want to empress upon my child that having a degree will not make him or break him. However, it will contribute to this journey of life by placing him a category that many young black men will not fall into and thus making his chances for success that much better. I don't agree that society places so much emphasis on it because the best lessons learned are the ones that comes from life experiences. What I do every day has nothing to do with the classes I went to while in college...but, the disappointments, the failures, the good times, the bad times, the bad decisions, the good decisions, the friends, the instructors...all those things have made me into the person I am and that is what my college experience was ALL about. For that, I am especially grateful for my college experience. The bottom line is that a degree is like adding ketchup to a hamburger. The hamburger will still be a hamburger whether you add the ketchup or not, however the existence of the ketchup on the sandwich just might make for a better tasting sandwich.

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-14T10:46:32-06:00

ID

105728

Comment

The bottom line is that a degree is like adding ketchup to a hamburger. The hamburger will still be a hamburger whether you add the ketchup or not, however the existence of the ketchup on the sandwich just might make for a better tasting sandwich. Yep, much tastier than a roadkill sandwich, huh? :-P Anyway, I agree on the life experiences part. My lack of life experience is what initially held me back after graduation. I knew a lot of things, but I hardly ever put those things into practice in the real world, so employers were not too ready to trust me. It's the old problem C.A. was talking about Saturday: You can't get a job without experience, but you can't get experience without a job. The whole thing just stinks.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-14T10:56:37-06:00

ID

105729

Comment

Queen601 writes: "The bottom line is that a degree is like adding ketchup to a hamburger. The hamburger will still be a hamburger whether you add the ketchup or not, however the existence of the ketchup on the sandwich just might make for a better tasting sandwich. " Queen601, that is classic. I like that quote. I am a bit simple (people that know me recognize that), so that is an example I can relate to. I share your thoughts. I just wish that more parents---especially ones of color---did. My family wanted college for me because they had been brainwashed to believe that was the only way I could make it. But I have to question, then, what is making it? Not to put down anyone with degrees or any higher education, I don't think that makes them any better than me no more than I think because of things I have been able to do that I am better than others. We have to determine what success is for us, and pursue that. I have commented in another commentary that for some success may be defying the odds and just graduating from high school. For others, it could be a woman who had children early in her life and decided once her family was settled to go after a craft or hobby that really appealed to her. I know for me success is just enjoying what I spend my life doing: whether it gives me $2 or $2000. As long as I am content and can go to bed happy with myself, then I don't expect anything more than that.

Author

c a webb

Date

2006-04-14T10:58:41-06:00

ID

105730

Comment

I know for me success is just enjoying what I spend my life doing: whether it gives me $2 or $2000. As long as I am content and can go to bed happy with myself, then I don't expect anything more than that. Now there's something you don't hear every day! Contentment should be our ultimate goal regardless of how much we have.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-14T11:08:02-06:00

ID

105731

Comment

Firstly, I completely agree. My success in life is not measured by material things but measured on the amount of wisdom I accomplish. You see I am far to "grown and mature within myself" not to recognize that old saying "you can't take it with you". I appreciate having a job that pays the bills and allows me to experience at least some luxuries in life, however, the more I make, the more I need. Funny, huh? That is why I tend to cherish the emotional and mental things that life offers, moreso than the materialism. I'll give you a perfect example of what we are talking about here. When I first started working in the position I am in, I worked in this same area in another position. I worked hard. I was dedicated and determined to contribute to the mission of this company. I believe in what we do, so it didn't come hard for me to do my best. However, when time came for me to speak on the fact that I was doing way more than what I was being paid to do (a problem most of us live each and every day), I was told to hold on, something would happen soon. Well for me that meant, begin your search for new employment. I did. And fortunately I found another position, doing less, paying more. After about a month of doing the new job, I was not challenged and thus, became extremely unhappy. Well, I was asked back to the company I left with a promotion offering more opportunity than what I left with. So, of course I took it and came back. The person who had my job before me was a older white lady who didn't NEED to work but just didn't want to be home bored. She got tired and quite saying it was too much work. Well of course I looked at this as my big chance. Took the job along with the duties she couldn't do and more. Been successful at it thus far. Well, a little while ago another higher position became available. The job discription asked for a degree in Social Work, well I don't have that and was told that I did not qualify. Guess who got the job....the older white lady who left my position not wanting too many duties...admitted verbally that she didn't want to work, she didn't want to do much and that she didn't have ANY college experience, let alone a degree in Social Work.

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-14T12:59:23-06:00

ID

105732

Comment

Now, is this not as clear as day. They found a way to make it work for this woman to have this job. But for me, it was undoable. Having a degree in this situation, did absolutely NOTHING for me. I was still faced with the old adage that she was more qualified than me and I can't see any level where that would be true except that she's a white woman. So, what do yall think about that? I refuse to instill in my child that this is the only way to go. It's not. College is great, but we can make things happen for ourselves without it and having it doesn't equal success....nor does not having it equal failure. It's all about discipline, self confidence and determination. And if your black, it's about how polished you are. We must not forget that this world insists that we fit in. This society needs us to be as unthreatening as possible....goes back to the New N Word article a bit does it not!?

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-14T12:59:32-06:00

ID

105733

Comment

I said in Kamikaze last article, that half the story has never been told with regards to the struggles of those of us who have allegedly overcomed. It's wrong what happened to you but I'm not surprised. It's too often the story of our lives.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-04-14T13:07:02-06:00

ID

105734

Comment

Yeah, but you know what Ray, I don't even consider it as wrong. I accept that that is the place we find ourselves in as a black race and I accept the challenge to overcome it. Through all my life's trials and tribulations, I have been thankful for the hardships are the reason I can stand firm and tall in all my beliefs and endeavors. I can easily rest assured that as long as I am smiled upon by the Creator all else is null and void. I can deal with it. True it's hard and it's unfortunate, but any trial comes to make one stronger, and thus is not wrong. It's right. Difficult but right. And right now I am waiting to be processed so that I might take a position different from the one I am in now, different from the one the older white lady is in and guess what, it pays more, there is a level of satisfaction that comes with this position that is not offered in either the job I do now or the one I lost to the older white lady. And thus, although I am a black person, I am still a child of the MOST HIGH and he is my only judge. He makes things happen for me when others won't...so I press on and I keep my head held high with nothing in my sight but the top! It's unfortunate that many of my sisters (black and white) have not accepted this mentality in their own lives. However, I work hard each and every day to lead by example.

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-14T14:50:46-06:00

ID

105735

Comment

Amen, Queen.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-04-14T14:57:10-06:00

ID

105736

Comment

L.W. Wrote: "My lack of life experience is what initially held me back after graduation. I knew a lot of things, but I hardly ever put those things into practice in the real world, so employers were not too ready to trust me." This is exactly what I'm experiancing right now and it is hard not to get discouraged. Queen601 I completely understand the place where your coming from. Lately I as well as many friends of mine have been experiencing similar job situations, and once again it is hard not to get discouraged. Queen601 you also wrote: "I accept that that is the place we find ourselves in as a black race and I accept the challenge to overcome it." In discouragement it is hard to look at things with this perspective. I think i'll adopt your words as my new motto.

Author

jan2006

Date

2006-04-14T15:59:18-06:00

ID

105737

Comment

And if your black, it's about how polished you are. We must not forget that this world insists that we fit in. This society needs us to be as unthreatening as possible. I think the word "needs" should be replaced with "wants" because an employer's view of what is threatening varies from place to place. If an employer found me threatening, I wouldn't want to work for them anyway. I think it can be a challenge for creative people to fit into that box when our minds are always outside of it. That's why I am all for creatives supporting and encouraging each other. After all, the world may not ever "get" us.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-04-14T19:35:08-06:00

ID

105738

Comment

The reason why I carefully selected the word "need" as opposed to "want, L.W., is because it is a need. They need us to be unthreatening. Because if we are not this way, then they loose control. They have no idea how to deal with us outside of a nonthreatening position. I wouldn't say want because it is not a conscious thing. It's nothing that they sit around and think about. It's embeded in most people with authority in the corporate world that non threatening looking and acting black folk can be controlled. However, the ones who look black, act black (even professionally), and speak outside the box (by that I mean having a level of understanding that can be matched with them or any of their colleagues), places them in a different front. They can't relate to us then, because they have lost the control they've come so accustom to. That's why I said need. I know it's not easy to adapt to the mentality by which I live, jan2006, however, without it we will crumble. Without it you give power to those who come to seek and destroy you. And no, I don't mean like physically. I just mean that if you give your power of self away to those who speak negatively about you or who overlook you for that job then you are handing them your power. Just look at yourself in the mirror and know that this is not for you and what is for you will be yours. It may take time, but a little bit of pride and faith goes a long way. We have got to learn that we are subjects of the most high and can not be denied. There is nothing we can't do with a little bit of training and a lot of confidence. The most important being confidence. With confidence, you can make all things happen. You've got to fall in love with youself whether the world loves you or not. The Creator does and that's quite enough. Mind you I am not a religious person either....spiritual, but I claim no organized religion. But I do recognize that the higher power the wakes me up each morning, carries me through each day and he doesn't approve of me being done wrong. So those who do wrong unto me will get wronged. And I don't have to worry, frett, or even sweat about it. I just smile politely and say thank you. I guess I'm still talking about the subject, ladies and gentlemen, not sure...I got a little passionate in this post. Imagine that!!!!

Author

Queen601

Date

2006-04-18T17:02:12-06:00