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[Kamikaze] Bush's Report Card

My kids got their first report card of the year recently. As most parents know, it's that initial indicator that lets you know just where your child stands with his schoolwork or his behavior. It's those infamous letter grades that say either "good job" or "some improvement is needed." Either you're on your way to success or headed toward failure.

Some working folks get report cards, too. They're called evaluations. A good one could mean a raise; a bad one could be an introduction to the unemployment line. Either way, I kind of like the idea, so I thought it would be prudent to issue President Bush a political report card at the midway point of his second term. Without all the theatrics that some of my former teachers used to display, I'm sorry to say, Mr. Bush, that you've received a big, fat F!

Now, let me first say that I don't boast to be either Democrat or Republican. I realize that politics is simply a choice between the lesser of two evils. I'm for whoever can best get the job done. But whether Democrat or Republican, liberal or conservative, you have to agree that the Bush administration has been, well, a joke.

Where should I begin? How about a little math? Here's a number: 2003. No, not the year, but the number of American soldiers killed in Iraq. I'm as patriotic as the next guy, but I don't follow ideals simply because it seems like the right thing to do. This is our generation's Vietnam. There is no reason for our troops to still be there, and the majority of Iraqis don't want us there. Your oil buddies get rich, and our brothers and sisters get maimed and killed for it. Shame, shame!

Here's another number: 35. That's the percentage of Americans who think you're doing a good job. And guess what? The number is shrinking. You've got to feel like one of those unpopular kids you and your fraternity brothers used to make fun of back at Yale.

How about having your own party up in arms against you about your Supreme Court nomination? In classic "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" fashion, you nominated a woman, Harriet Miers, who had as much credibility as I do to serve on this country's highest court.

Oh, and then there's your pledge to restore "morality" to the White House. Remember how your appeal to the "Christian right" catapulted you to victory in 2004? Remember the "honor" that you and the Republicans claim the Clinton administration destroyed? Well, your vice president's chief of staff is facing 30 years in prison for making false statements to the FBI and knowingly deceiving a grand jury. Not too good, buddy!

Now add to that ridiculous gas prices and the fact that hundreds of Hurricane Katrina victims perished after the storm because you appointed a glorified horse trainer as the head of FEMA, and you'll see we're in big trouble. Even America's biggest conservatives are treating you like you have a fresh case of West Nile.

All in all, as a taxpaying citizen who pays your salary (well at least the legal one that you make as president), I'd have to say that you have failed miserably as our commander-in-chief. The moral of this story: People chastised Clinton for doing a little screwing in the Oval Office, then they turned around and put someone in the Oval Office who screws the entire country.

And that's the truth....sho-nuff!

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