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[Rev] A Bunch of Hell Raisers

Did you know that a car columnist recently won a Pulitzer Prize? His name is Dan Neil, and he writes for The Los Angeles Times. I told my mom, and now suddenly she's proud of me and my profession. Of course, Dan's in a different league. For instance, he probably got to attend the freaking New York City car show last week. The NYC show is the equivalent of the last few seconds of a Fourth of July fireworks display—automakers go all out to show off their new production vehicles, and pretend they are serious about various concept cars they've developed. It is the highest-attended car show in North America, and it's been going on for over a hundred years. It's the ultimate assignment! And I didn't get to go! Not enough money in the budget.

In a pathetic attempt to make myself feel better, I spent the better part of most days during the show looking at photos of the event online, like some Internet porn watcher. From what I can glean from the Web, I missed plenty. One big, exciting thing is the 2005 Ford Escape Hybrid. People have been clamoring for a hybrid SUV for years, and Ford is the first American car company to go there. (Toyota's Highlander was the first to implement hybrid technology with an SUV body in January). To create a media frenzy, Ford unleashed its Escape on the streets of Manhattan, and had it drive non-stop until it ran out of gas. Fifteen gallons of fuel and 37 hours later, the Escape came out with an average of 38 miles per gallon and extremely clean emissions. Good for Ford.

I also missed seeing a couple of convertibles that would have reduced me to drool. One beauty was the 2005 Lotus Elise. Lotus is a British sports-car maker, and the Lotus is a cutie. It's a convertible, and it looks like a toy. Did I mention it's bright, school-bus yellow? The sticker price is expected to be $39,985 when they are released in the States this June. My eyes, alas, did not see the debut of the Mini Cooper convertible, either. The roof is apparently soft, retraction takes 15 seconds, and it automatically rolls down the rear side windows, so you don't look like a big dork.

In terms of concept cars, I missed out big. The 2007 Saturn Curve looks rad with an almost bulbous hood, a huge departure from their very typical '90s car shape. Audi made a splash with their RSQ Sports Coupe concept, which will appear in a Will Smith movie called "I, Robot" some time this summer (hey, Twentieth Century Fox: send me free passes, would ya?). The car is weird looking; the wheels are covered by what looks like steel mesh (but it's hard to tell by just looking at these photos!), in order to go along with the storyline: Chicago, 2035, cars drive on spheres, not tires. Actually, the RSQ resembles another movie you might know—Woody Allen's "Sleeper"—by virtue of its low-slung, almost hovering appearance and rounded top.

But I am most heartbroken about missing Volvo's YCC (Your Concept Car), developed by an all-women team! It's just a plain old two-door Volvo, but with some major fancy, female-focused features. For example, every lady needs more closets, and in a car, she needs more storage space. Hence, this concept car has multiple storage bins, including one for ye olde laptop. The car also features an exterior filler location for windshield fluid. This is brilliant! And there's the girlie accessory of removable, washable, seat pads that, yes, come in different colors and textures.

The YCC has practical aims, too, like backseats that fold up like movie-theater seats, which allows more space behind the front seats for grocery bags or briefcases. They've also come up with this system called Ergovision, to be patented soon, which will scan the driver's body so that her proportions will dictate how the car adjusts the seat, steering wheel, pedals and seat belt for ultimate comfort. The only stupid thing I could detect (though I wasn't there, was I?) is that the hood doesn't open at all. Only a Volvo mechanic can remove it and get into the engine.

Other than that, what a great concept—though this car will probably never exist, I would bet many of the team's ideas will appear in other models. The British coverage of the car featured a photo of the Nordic ladies, and they look like a bunch of hell raisers with their black and red clothing. Oh well, maybe next year? Right? Right?!

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