Ellington

The New York Sports Express reports the naked truth on a soccer player who received a lifetime ban for, uh, unsportsmanlike celebration.

"What a bummer of a country Zanzibar must be. Your soccer teammate scores a game-winning goal in a packed stadium, and they don't even let you take out your (penis) and show it to the referee to celebrate. Apparently they expect you to run around in a circle with your shirt off, or take a belly-slide in the grass, or do whatever it is that soccer players do to blow off steam—just no gesticulating at the ref with one's ... member."