Ellington

World soccer boss Sepp Blatter has added a new offense to his crimes against humanity: Sexist pig. Blatter said in a recent interview that the best way to increase the popularity of women's soccer is for female players to wear "tighter shorts." One of Sepp's lackeys blamed the furor over his boss' comments on a "bad translation." How does that happen when Sepp speaks five languages? What's French for "take a cold shower, Sepp"? Oh wait, there is no French word for shower.