Ellington

"Treasury Secretary John Snow announced Monday that the federal government will discontinue its long-term, low-yield investment in the nation's youth," The Onion "reports."

The brilliant satire continues: "'For generations, we've viewed spending on our nation's young people as an investment in the future,' Snow said. 'Unfortunately, investments of this type take a minimum of 18 years to mature, and even then, there's no guarantee of a profit. It's just not good business.' Snow compared funneling money into public schools, youth programs, and child health-care clinics to letting the nation's money languish in a low-interest savings account."

This would be hilarious, if it weren't so damned true. Definitely read the rest ... and then, kids or no kids, decide to do your part to save the public schools. No joke.