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Put A Cork In It

Chicago Cubs slugger Sammy "Corky" Sosa was ejected in the first inning of the Cubs' game with Tampa Bay on Tuesday night after his bat shattered and umpires discovered that it was corked. Dr. S always thought that Cheatin' Sammy was corked, not his bat. Scammin' Sammy admitted he used a corked bat, but insists he accidentally picked up a bat he uses for batting practice. Uh huh. Expect Major League Baseball to suspend Corky for seven games and fine him $1,000. The damage to Sosa's image and legacy figures to be far more severe. Corky's apologists are already saying that he showed he's a stand-up guy by admitting that he used a corked bat. What the hell was Scammin' Sammy supposed to say, the evidence was irrefutable. Besides, Dr. S doesn't believe a person should get extra points for telling the truth. No matter how rarely it occurs.

Is Sammy the only major leaguer who's cheating? Get real. Trying to get an edge is a time-honored tradition in pro baseball. As Jim Rome says of big-league baseball, if you're not cheating, you're not trying. But Dr. S wonders, if Sammy felt like he had to use a corked bat against the Devil Rays, what was he going to do when the Cubs play the New York Yankees this weekend?

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