Ellington

Driving to work the day after Dubya officially declared war on Iraq, I was struck by a feeling of patriotism coupled with sadness. I noted the American flags plastered on bumpers and the ribbons on antennas swaying in the March wind as I sat in traffic along I-55 South. The morning had a surreal, bittersweet quality as I pondered whether everyone else was also listening to war updates on PRM. Call me callous, but until Monday, March 17, 2003, I hadn't really felt much one way or the other about Dubya's little war. I remember milling around the kitchen preparing dinner that evening while I listened to the president's address and the subsequent over-analysis. Suddenly, I felt a pang of recognition in my chest. Those afternoons spent sitting in the grill at Millsaps College watching Operation Desert Storm updates came flooding back to me. And for a moment, I even imagined my poor dad being pulled out of retirement to serve just one more tour with the 101st Airborne from Fort Campbell, Ky.

Yep, the Grinch's heart had finally thawed. I called my friend Blondie immediately. See, I knew she'd understand: Her husband has been deployed on active duty for the last 10 months now. She was glad I called, and so was I. In comforting her fears about her husband's fate, I managed to ease my own anxiety. But when I hung up the phone, I knew that the uncertainty still lurked in both of our minds.

I've been in Blondie's corner these 10 months. We've ridden the roller coaster of fear, patriotism, anger and pride together. But I hadn't really committed myself to the ride for my own sake until the first bombs hit Baghdad.

I'm torn between the arrogance and futility of this war versus the necessity for someone to stand up for the voiceless faces of the world. As a Christian, I'm apt to throw up my hands and say, "Oh, just leave it to God!" Yet, doesn't He call Christians to be a beacon of light for a lost world and to reach out to the helpless, the nameless? And the arguments over whether this is indeed a just war? Well, that's beyond me.

I listen to everyone spouting "God Bless America"; Dubya ends nearly every speech with those words. It's a nice sentiment, but the phrase seems a little self-centered. Maybe America's inflated ego got us in this mess in the first place. And like so many before us, we're standing on religion–—even the Bible—to justify our actions. Well, if we'd notice, it's essentially impossible to open the cover and read the truth inside while you've got one foot firmly planted on top.

The word "war" still sounds so strange to me. Though I experienced the Persian Gulf War as a young adult, I think of "war" as this historical event of a bygone era. I can't fathom our fast-paced society sitting still long enough to wage a prolonged crusade, like World Wars I and II, the Korean War or the Vietnam War. Even the anti-war protests lack a certain luster and have a rushed nature to them.

The hurried pace could have its benefit, though. For the men and women deployed across the nation and overseas and their family members, like Blondie, I hope it means this conflict will be short-lived. Unfortunately, no one really knows how long our troops will be engaged in these war games.

But I am sure of this: Despite our opposing political views and conflicting ideals about leadership and power, we must stand united in one effort—promoting peace on earth and good will to ALL men, women and children. It's not just for the Christmas season anymore.
Jennifer Spann is a columnist for the Jackson Free Press.