Ellington

Have you heard that Ole Miss is going to replace the grass at Vaught-Hemingway Stadium with cardboard? That's because the Rebels always look good on paper.

The Rebels are taking a week off from losing, but they will be right back into the "L" column next week when they lose at LSU. Why are the Rubbles so pitiful? 1) They can't run the ball (and their best running back, the injury-prone Robert Williams was kicked off the team this week). 2) They can't stop the run (Georgia controlled the ball for what, 48 minutes last Saturday?). They're not much good at stopping the pass or playing special teams, either. Poor Eli Manning isn't doing so hot, either. Against Georgia, Archie's youngest was 12 of 25 for just 176 yards. He also had two interceptions, including one that was returned 64 yards for a Georgia touchdown by Tim Jennings. Eli has eight interceptions in the last four games after getting picked off just three times in the first six.

Meanwhile, UM coach David Cutcliffe is falling deeper into his fantasy world. "Tough times don't last. Tough people will," Cutcliffe said after the Wobbles' fourth straight loss. Coach must have been sampling some of the wacky weed the two players he kicked off the team allegedly brought back from the grass lands of Arkansas.

Dear Delusional Dave, Dr. S predicts that you won't survive your first losing season after Eli leaves Oxpatch. Better hope he doesn't opt for the NFL early.

Dr. S was 3-2 in his picks last week. But perfection is boring. Besides, Valley pulled one of the major upsets of the year in beating Alcorn. Props to you, Delta Devils.

Is Southern Miss finished losing to Louisville yet? Now what about the teams that are playing on Saturday?

Tennessee at Mississippi State, 11:30 a.m. The Volunteers make a rare visit to Scott Field for a brunch-time battle with the Bulldogs that's on TV. (Contractual obligations are the only thing that got this dog on TV.) Tennessee and MSU both suck, but the Vols suck with better players. UT's starting quarterback probably won't play, not that it matters. Fat Phil is still UT's coach, not that it should matter. But Dr. S is a sucker for an upset ... MSU 13, Under-achieving UT 12.

Prairie View at Jackson State, 3 p.m.: The Tigers will be playing the toothless Panthers at Mississippi Veterans Memorial, but their minds will be on Alcorn State's game with Alabama A&M at Huntsville, Ala. An Alcorn victory in the 1 p.m. tilt (and the Braves will win 21-20) will turn the Soul Bowl on Nov. 23 into the SWAC East championship game. How bad will JSU beat Prairie View? As bad as the Tigers want to. ... Distracted Tigers 63, Pitiful Panthers 0.

In the two-year ranks, Holmes travels to Ellisville to play Jones County at 2 p.m. for the juco state title. Jones is a scoring machine; Holmes has an old-fashioned offense and a smothering defense. Holmes 7-3.

Mississippi Valley is headed to Montgomery, Ala., for a 31-17 loss starting at 6:30 p.m. Elsewhere, Trinity (Texas) tangles with Millsaps (Mississippi) at Alumni Field Downtown at 1:30 p.m., East Texas Baptist calls on Mid-Mississippi (Baptist) College in an intradenominational throwdown at 2 p.m. in Clinton, the Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevils descend on Delta State at 1 p.m., and brawling Belhaven visits Virginia-Wise at 1:30 p.m.