Ellington

I managed to get through the weekend without watching any news coverage of the war or any television for that matter. Instead, I worked on my research proposal for class, and enjoyed a hike with my dogs and some good quality time with friends. It was good to "cleanse" my brain for awhile. The media covers the war minute by minute, and it seems as if this war has been going on for months. I wonder if Americans will grow to be disinterested and forget why we are fighting in the first place.

I feel pride when I see an American soldier, such as the Marine I saw Friday morning on television, tell the folks back home that he would give his life for them in a second. Without glancing left or right, he made this statement. I felt fear for him when I saw how young and confident his eyes were. I feel reassured that he can so easily see things in black and white while facing war. He has been trained well. I think most Americans wish they could feel that certain about anything right now.

I enlisted into the Army National Guard in 1993, a year after graduating from high school. I cannot recall details surrounding my decision to enlist, but I am certain about why. I thought it was honorable. I felt I was headstrong enough to see it through, and I wanted to fly. Six years later I entered flight school at Fort Rucker, Ala. About a year later, I was qualified to fly the UH-60 "Blackhawk" helicopter.

Sometimes I find it hard to fathom. I was a young girl enamored with a camouflage helmet, pistol belt and MREs (food rations) that my uncle stored in the trunk of his car between drill weekends; he is a retired colonel from the Mississippi Army National Guard. He was my mentor in my pursuit to serve my country, and said, "Hell no!" when my mother asked him to get me out of the Guard after I enlisted against her better judgment. And after learning I wanted to join a field artillery unit—they blew stuff up—he called a friend to help get me in, but to no avail. Women weren't allowed in field artillery. Then.

Growing up, I had crushes on boys, wore too much make-up and watched "Top Gun" so many times I can to this day recite certain lines from the movie. I was a girl in every way, but with a huge agenda for my life. That girl became a platoon leader and now commander in one of the finest aviation battalions in the country.

In my civilian life I am a public school teacher. I shape the lives of children who will eventually shape this world. I push them, love them, pray for them and hurt for them all because I believe in them, regardless of what they believe. I emphatically impress upon them the importance of "thinking outside the box."

I spend hours in my classroom challenging my students to not just see things in black and white. We discuss and debate issues that affect us all. I encourage their opinions, but demand that they know why they feel the way they do. There is always so much "gray" area in our discussions.

I am surrounded by loving parents, a boyfriend who is the most loyal and genuine person I have ever met and two dogs who rule my life. I run to stay fit and keep myself sane. On the rare occasions that I sit down for more than a few minutes, I enjoy painting. I am currently reading Jonathan Franzen's novel, "The Corrections."

While I lead a busy and rewarding life, I am constantly hounded by uncertainty. We are a nation at war. At any moment, the war may take a turn, and I may receive my "marching orders" to go. I may have to leave behind my students, my family and friends, and then lead a company into battle. The idea of going is not what I fear. I am confident in my ability to lead. I believe in my superiors' abilities and, most of all, the ability of my company.

What worries me the most about this or any war is the absolute elimination of the "gray." As officers we take an oath that affirms our obligation to the service. It is taken "freely without any mental reservation." At that moment everything becomes black and white. We do not have the liberty to debate our personal beliefs. I have superiors above me and subordinates under me: It is called a chain of command, and it does not have any room for gray area or uncertainty. I do believe in this chain of command. With it, we can ensure the minimal loss of life. Without it, we are combat ineffective.

If duty calls, my main objective will be to bring my company home safely. I will do this without any mental reservation. I will support the chain of command at all costs for the safety of my soldiers. I will pray for peace. And I will continue to defend the freedom to debate "gray areas."
Beth Smith is a native of Clinton and teaches at Murrah High School.

Previous Comments

ID

68356

Comment

Thanks for publishing my "little" sister, Beth Smith. Her sister, brother-in-law and nephews are so proud of all her accomplishments. She has wanted to fly since she was about six years old and it is so amazing to watch her professionally handle such a big piece of machinery. She is an amazing young woman, a wonderful example to her Murrah High School students and a disciplined National Guard officer for the finest country in the world. I know that if duty calls her, she will be proud to fight for the freedom that each and every citizen of this country should feel blessed to possess. I am honored to call her my sister.

Author

Jennifer Smith Campbell

Date

2003-04-11T02:12:21-06:00